All Night

Last words

Lucille

We walk in and I can't explain what I feel. My stomach starts aching. Being here again feels so awkward. It feels like it’s been years. It feels like I got murdered here and came back to haunt him. It’s similar to that anyway...

I want to vomit but I keep it in.

I can’t even move. This is too much. I start breathing heavier with the thought that he could come out of any corner any time. I'm so scared of him and I don't even know why. Red hood is here but I’m still anxious. I don't want to be scared of him anymore...

Toni

I look around. Nobody's here.

I swear, if he isn’t here, then I'm going to find him and hang him in public, where everybody can see him. That’s what he deserves.

When I look at Lucille, I can see that she's not fine. She looks like she's having an anxiety attack. She wasn't exaggerating, when she said that she's not ready for this. Maybe I should tell er to go back to the car.

She's not even moving. I can barely imagine what she's feeling. Being here again must be really hard for her but I'm too impatient and it's not the first time I'm going to kill someone. I know that she will feel better after this.

I walk towards her.

“Where is his room?” I ask, hoping that she'll get herself together. She's shaking.

“Upstairs. Second door…” she answers, totally paralyzed. I can see how afraid she is... I'm afraid she's going to pass out or freak out or something similar to that.

I grab her wrist again and pull her upstairs with me because I know, she wouldn't even move a bit, if I wouldn't make her. She would freak out here on her own. I’m not going to leave her here.

What I'm doing might be the wrong thing and I might make it worse for her but after this, she won't have to worry ever again. She won't feel like this ever again. He will be gone. He will not cross her mind ever again because he won’t exist anymore.

I open the door and when we enter, I let her go. She grabs my arm and start starts breathing so heavily, that I'm sure she's going to pass out. She looks like she's drowning. She doesn't want this. I'm sure about that but I don't care.

Lucille

He is here… Right in front of me. He's sleeping. I hold my breath because I’m scared of waking him up. I wish I could disappear and act like I was never here at all but I know that this will be a core memory. I was hoping to never end up here again. I was hoping to not see him again. I was hoping he died.

I would've taken the risk to end up in jail. I never hated anybody this much. I can't hold my tears back. Seeing him again makes me realize that I don’t regret smashing the lamp on his head. I should’ve done worse. I should cut his throat open right now...

When red hood looks at him, he clenches his jaw. What is he going to do? What am I going to do? So many thoughts are going through my head. I'm losing my mind.

It's not like we only came to see him, make me feel like s**t and leave. I'm afraid he's going to do something that will get us in danger but at the same time I hope he will.

He slowly walks towards him, while I keep standing at the same spot. I don't think that I can move closer to him. I need this distance. Even standing in his room again is killing me. I'm so tired of living these moments over and over again. I'm so tired of feeling like this.

“That's him…?” he quietly asks, still looking at him. He’s about to burst out in anger and he’s only waiting for my answer. I can see his veins even from here. Whatever I say now will destine his fortune.

Red hood looks at me and I nod.

To be honest, I don't know what I would do if he would be awake…

He pulls the blanket off him with one move and Mason slowly opens his eyes... So soft that I believe we ripped him out of a soft dream but I can see how that changes into confusion... He blinks a few times and furrows his eyebrows, when he sees red hood. Then he screams.

“Who the f**k are you?” he asks, still a little sleepy with messy hair. He knows very well that he isn’t dreaming...

“Leave my f*****g house!” he screams.

Red hood grabs his collar and makes him stand up. My heart starts beating faster. It's getting hotter in here and I'm running out of air. He makes him look at me and his eyes get so big. He looks like he is seeing a ghost. His jaw drops and mine is about to break from clenching it.

Red hood roughly lets him go and frowns like I’ve never seen it before. Why is he doing this? Why are we even here? Does he want me to talk to him or something? Does he even know how I’m feeling and how embarrassed I am Does he want me to die from anxiety?

“Lucille...” he says and I close my eyes and flinch, when I hear his voice. I hate his voice. I was fine without hearing it. All these months were so easy for me because I didn’t hear his voice…

“You’re alive? I… I thought you…” I continue his sentence with furrowed eyebrows. “Died?” I ask and he slowly nods. Everybody thought I died. The thing I’m surprised about is that I can speak.

Mason seems so confused and scared but relieved at the same time...

He slowly walks towards me and I almost faint because I can’t take this anxiety anymore. I take a few steps back but red hood grabs his shirt from behind and pulls him back. I’m thankful that he does that because if Mason would touch me I would have a seizure. I need to control myself…

“You're alive…” my heart is aching. I don’t want to hear him talk... He seems so confused, happy and angry at the same time. He’s not attacking me because I left him the way I did. He has no right to but that shows that he is glad I’m back…

Red hood lets him go and looks around. Why is he doing that? He's scaring me. I don't want him to let him go. He could attack me. All I can focus on is Mason. I feel like, if I take my eyes off him, he will escape or come closer. It feels like I'm stuck with him.

He starts walking towards me, with very slowly steps. Agains.. He furrows his eyebrows. I start to panic and want to scream but I can’t. My lungs aren’t filled with enough air and my voice is gone.

Just when he reaches out to grab me, red hood hits him with his own baseball bat, right into his back, out of nowhere. I gasp. He falls on the ground and groans in pain. I back off as much as I got space.

It doesn’t even take me a second to realize that I like seeing him in pain. I want this...

Then I slowly walk towards them and look down at him. I'm so disgusted. I hate him so much. He's a piece of s**t. Looking at him bringt all these thoughts.

He looks at me and then at him…

“You have two options.” red hood says. What is he planning? He's talking with a deep but clear voice. I'm totally confused.

“Either you're going to deepthroat my d**k, until you throw up blood or I'll f**k you, until you bleed.” he is totally serious. I look away Mason frowns...

“Who are you f*****g asshole?” he asks, totally pissed. He was so focused on me that he totally forgot about red hood. Otherwise he would've probably already called the police.

“Did you think you wouldn't have to pay for the things you've done to her?” he asks and punches him. So hard and unexpectedly that I think he's going to faint.

“Look at her.” he forces him to look at me by grabbing his hair and pulling it. I’m nervous but I can't hold myself back. “I hate you so f*****g much…” I whisper, with a shaking voice and a tear rolling down my cheek. I hate drying in front of him.

Red hood hits his head so hard against the ground that I could swear I heard his skull break. I feel like I can’t breathe, yet I don't close my eyes. I want to see it. I want to see him suffer and I won't stop red hood.

Mason looks at me and I can't explain what I feel. His eyes are screaming for help.

“I didn't do anything that you didn't want. Call him off… Please…” he says with blood all over his face but theres nothing that I can do for him. He didn’t stop either, when I told him to.

“Lucille…” he says and burns my ears and my heart. Hearing my name come out of his mouth is awful.

His nose is bleeding. More blood is coming out from the back from his head...

“Big mistake. Don't say her name.” red hood says and pulls him up. I should've known what a p***y Mason has always been. He can't even protect himself or fight back. He can't free himself, without telling me to call him off...

“Do you know what you've done to her and do you know what I'm going to do to you now?” he adds and punches him several times. I take a few steps back again.

I don't want this to happen. I wish we would've never came here. This is wrong. There was no need for this. Seeing red hood kill him piece by piece makes me realize that.

“No! Lucille, call him off! Please, I still love you!” he screams, crying with a swollen lip. I freeze. His words are poison for my brain and my blood. This is making me uncomfortable.

My jaw drops and I look at him. He looks into my eyes. I've never seen him like this. He didn't look at me like this for so long but he's only afraid and he wants me to stop him. He's too weak to fight on his own.

“Let us talk…” he says and red hood looks at me. I don't feel anything anymore for Mason. Theres nothing left for him and there's nothing to talk about and I want this to end as soon as possible.

I want to get out of here and I want this all to stop. I shake my head very fast and red hood punches him even harder, until he can't stand anymore but he makes him stand up again. I'm definitely not going to stop him because I can't move. I can't even breathe. Even if I could, I wouldn’t stop him. Mason deserves it.

I want him to bleed…

With every time he hurts him, I feel a lot better. The weight on my chest falls off a little more with every punch.

“I won't waste my time with you.” red hood says and pulls out his gun. My eyes widen. I didn't know he was armed. I know that he carries his gun with himself sometimes but I didn’t know that he had it with him tonight.

“No, no, no please let me disappear! You’ll never see me again! I won’t tell anybody about you, please!” Mason screams. He’s scared. I'm so disappointed. Why? What did I even expect?

“Of course you won't see anybody ever again.” red hood says and I swallow. Then he looks at me. My heart stops. I can’t move or react.

“Lucille… Wanna say anything before I take over?” he asks and I freeze completely...

He was the boy I fell in love with once. My first love. He was the one who I hid from everybody because I thought he'd love me so much and he would be my everything... He was my first in everything and he still loves me. At least that’s what he says. I know it’s a lie. He’s just trying to talk himself about of this.

My heart is bleeding and it will never stop bleeding.

I slowly shake my head and whisper “Please don't…” what he has done to me, was probably one of the worst things you can do to a human being. But does he deserve death?

I don't know, if I can do this or if I want him to do this. Didn’t I want him to die, when I broke the lamp on his head?

“Lucille, I'm going to kill him anyway.” he says, not knowing what this means for me.

I'm scared and I can only imagine what Mason must feel like after waking up and seeing someone who actually should be dead. Now a gun is pointed at him and he know he will die. Yet I’m his only chance to survive. I could save him. If I don’t, will I be a murderer.

I slowly walk towards him and red hood backs off. He gives me space and that means a lot to me.

I look into Mason’s bloody face. He's literally beginning me with his eyes. Begging me to only listen to him. Is there a possibility that he could have an explanation? Do people have explanations for things like these? Could I ever forgive him? He looks so sad, afraid and frustrated. He's even crying… For me? Or for his life? He didn't even fight back. He didn't even say much...

Everything happened so fast, even I didn't have time to understand this all.

His eyes are all I can focus on right now. Those eyes made me feel special once.

I can't say anything. I can't say anything to him. I don't want to talk to him and I don't want to believe that this is actually happening right now. I want to leave.

I look at red hood... “Can we please leave? I don't want this…” I say, almost drowning in my tears. He shakes his head, with a clenched jaw. He doesn’t understand. He must think that I want to protect Mason but it’s not about that. I only can’t stand being here anymore. Why does he have to do this to me? Why did he have to bring me here?

This is my war. He doesn’t have to win it for me.

Red hood laughs and I back off, while Mason is crying. He is definitely not okay. They both aren't okay... I didn't know that red hood would care so much about this. I didn’t want to cause such a drama…

When I take a deep breath, red hood releases the safety of the gun and points at his forehead.

He looks strange. He looks like a monster. He's really going to do it. I'll be freed from Mason forever but we're killing somebody…

He looks at me like he's asking me for a sign. If I shake my head, he won't do it. If I nod, he's going to shoot and he'll die? It's in my hand? It’s my decision?

This pressure makes me crazy. It makes me go insane.

I grab his arm with both of my hands and look up at him. He barely minds me. It’s like he went crazy. No matter what I'm going to say, he'll do it. I shake my head again.

“I can't do this. Can we leave? Please?” I ask. I’m about to get on my knees and beg him. I’m shaking but he doesn’t care.

Is it really worth it? Does he deserve this because of what he has done to me?

“Any last words?” he asks and Mason opens his mouth, with big hopes but red hood pulls the trigger. He shoots him and I close my eyes with that awful noise and scream. My heart stops and so does Mason’s. This is real. This really happened. I'm afraid to open my eyes and realize that I'm still here but I still open my eyes.

He's laying on the ground with open eyes, staring at nothing. He's dead. Seeing him like that scares me more than I thought. I don't know what to feel or if I need to say something. I can’t realize what just happened.

What have we done?

I've never seen a dead person. I think I'm going to faint or throw up. Or both.

His blood is everywhere.

I start to hyperventilate.

When I hear a loud noise, I wince and see how red hood is destroying his computer, his phone, CDs and other stuff, with the baseball bat. He’s destroying his whole room.

When he’s done, he turns around and looks at me. He’s out of breath and so am I because I feel like I can’t breathe at all.

“Anything else he could have saved your nudes on?” he asks… I look around. There could be nothing left because he destroyed everything. They must be gone, if Mason didn’t save any of them on his cloud or sent them to his friends... I shake my head very quickly because I really only want to get out of here.

“We're leaving.” he says, throwing the baseball bag on the bed. “B-but… What if anybody comes back and… The police… I mean...” I can’t talk.

This all is way too much for me...

I've never seen a dead body before. I know he told me I'm strong but I can't do this. I didn't want this. I didn't want anything. I can't handle this. I can't live with this…