Song of Torment

Chapter Ten

Chapter 10: The memory of his pain

We're too young, too dumb to know things like love.But I know better now.

I open my eyes and met his.

So I drown it out, like I always do.Dancing through our house with the ghost of you. And I chase it down with a shot of truth. Dancing through our house with the ghost of you.

The crowd clap their hands when I finished the song. The MC also ask for a toast.

"Let's all welcome, the newest artist of Serenade Music and Arts Corporation, Raleigh! Cheers!"

I just smiled at the guests who offered me a toss and welcome me to SMAC. I looked around again to find him but he is no longer there, where I saw him earlier. I started walking and search for him but there were a lot of people who greeted me, including the CEO of Black Sanctuary, Gray Wilson.

"Nice song. As expected from you, Raleigh," he commented.

"Thank you," I said and smiled at him.

"Now that you signed as their artist, we can now release your newest album right?"

That's the condition they gave me. Black Sanctuary is set to produce my upcoming album under the SMAC label once I become their artist.

The party goes on. I talked to some businessmen who also present at the party. Also to some well known singers here in the Philippines who attended the party.

"Hey."

I turned my gaze to look at the person who tried to get my attention and smiled brightly when I recogize who he is.

"Hero," I called his name and gave him a warm hug.

Hero is the son of Gray Wilson, the owner of Black Sanctuary. He's been my friend eversince we starred at a musical show on broadway. He was also the one who introduce me to his father when he learned that I was the theater actress that his father has been looking for.

"May I have this dance?" he asked.

I just rolled my eyes when he act like a prince asking a princess for a dance. Hero is one of my close friends when I was in LA.

"How long have you been here?" I asked as he leads us to the dance floor.

"I just got here yesterday. Then my father told me to come to this party. I didn't know it was your party," he said which made me smiled awkawrdly. Maybe he knew that I was avoiding him. "I hope it’s fine because I’m so happy to get to see you again. How are you, Rei?"

My gaze passed him when I saw Matthew looking at us then he started walking to our direction.

"I'm fine. I think," I answered without thinking.

"You think? Why? Is there something wrong, Rei?"

I didn't answer him because I can't. As if my world stop moving when I saw a girl stop Matthew by grabbing his arms. He turned around, smiled at that girl when he recognnize her and I saw how that girl kiss him and how slowly he kisses her back.

It's as if the scar in my heart started bleeding again when I saw that girl's face.

It is her. I’m sure she is. Her dirty blonde hair, blue eyes and milky white skin that she got from her father. How can I forget that girl who broke us before and who tortured me over and over again.

"Why do you have to come with me?" I asked him frowning when he dropped me at the university I’m attending and even walked me to the entrance.

"Because I want to see my girlfriend's university?" he said while he playfully near his face to me. He kissed my nose that made me smile. "There, you're more beautiful when you smile."

It was just yesterday, when I saw him on our front door and he told me he loved me. It was the best day of my life.

I stop walking when I saw a familiar face. I let go of Matthew's hand. We were still in the parking lot in front of the university but it's still early for my first subject so I followed that familiar face.

"Daddy!"

Then I saw the girl from my class. She's actually famous because she's so beautiful and nice to everyone. She also tried to approach me but I keep my distance from her.

"How's my princess?"

The beating of my heart grew faster when I heard that voice. The voice that I’ve been longing to hear again.

I moved closer at their direction, just enough for me to see and hear them without them noticing me. I saw how that man kiss the girl from my class on her temple that made me clench my hand into fist.

"Totally fine. I wanna have a date with you, Dad. You've been too busy at work laltely."

Yes he is. He is always busy that he have no time for his family. That's how he is but not to this girl.

"Okay. I can ask my secretary to move my dinner meeting tomorrow so I can be with my princess."

I turned away when I saw him kissed her on her cheeks.

"Hey," Matthew said to get my attention

"Go home. I can go on my own," I said, trying to fight my anger, and left him there.

“Raleigh?" Hero called me when I remove his hands away from me. I avoided Matthew’s eyes and lower down my head. I don't want Hero to see my tears. I know he'll get worried.

"I'm sorry. I have to go," I said and was about to go but he stop me and search for my eyes. His lips parted when he saw my tears before wiping them.

"I know it's not my place to ask so I won't do that but I want you to know that I'm always here for you," he said then hug me tight.

"Hero..." I hug him and just hide my face and cried on his chest

"I told you I will wait for you," he said making me sigh.

"And I told you, I'm not worth waiting for."

"I still insist," he said. He push me to see my face and then smile. He wipe my tears away and asked if I’m okay before heading their table.

I walked out of the damce floor then headed to the comfort room and locked myself in there. I cried there again for minutes. I was drying my tears when someone knock on the door.

"They're looking for you."

I was startled and stop fixing my hair and my face when I recognize his voice.

"You've been there for more than 30 minutes. The guests are looking for you and requesting another song."

So he's been keeping time since the moment I entered the comfort room?

I didn’t answer him nor say a word. I did my business without a hurry. I open the door when I got satisfied of my looks with no trace that I’ve been crying. I was about to step out when someone suddenly grab my hand so I hit him with my purse but he managed to stop my hand before it even touch his face. Then he push me inside the comfort room again.

My eyes widen when I recognize him.

"What are you doing? You said the guests are waiting!" I said when I heard him locking the door.

"F*ck all the guests!" Matthew shouted angrily.

"What? We need to get back!”

"Who is he?" he suddenly asked making me frown.

"What?"

"Who's that guy you're talking with?!" he shouted again while he looked at me angrily.

I didn’t answer him. I just stared at his angry face. His hands form into fist. His jaw clenching. I know that face. I've seen that face a lot of times before especially whenever he sees me at the university I’m attending. 

"Love!"

I turned back to look for that voice and there I saw him. I almost laugh when I saw him frowning. His jaw is clenching. His hands form into fist and his face is so red as he walks towards me.

"Who is that?" he asked and then wrap his arm around my waist to pull me beside him.

"John, this is Matt and Matt this is John. He's my blockmate. John was just asking me about our lesson a while ago that he didn't understand."

"Then he should’ve listen very well or better yet ask from your professor directly. Why is he asking you? Let’s go!" He’s angry. That’s for sure. He just grab my hand and pulled me away from that place so I just gave John an awkward smile.

He push me to get inside the car but I just face him instead.

"What’s your problem?!" I asked, he really getting into my nerves. "You know what? It’s not funny anymore. Are going to always act like that whenever you see me talking with my blockmates? That's the 5th time already!"

"Just don't talk to those guys! They obviously like you!"

"Wow! Are you a mindreaded now? By just one look at them you already know that like me? You don’t even know them! And so what if they like me? Don’t you trust me?!” I lash out at him.

He didn’t answer me and just stared at me for a minute. I sigh to calm my self.

"No matter how many guys I’ll encounter in this life, Matt, nothing will change. They’re not you so they can’t take me away from you. You’re the only one I love. I hope you can trust me on that," I told him. He avoided my gaze so I held his face to look at me. And when I met his gaze, I saw sadness in his eyes.

"Dammit," he cussed and suddenly grab my nape to give me a punishing kiss on my lips.

"I was jealous, okay? I was so jealous of them because they get to be with you all day. Me on the other hand, I only get to be with you whenever I drop you to this university and pick you up to get you home. It would be lucky enough for me if your brother would allow me to be with you for a few more hours."

I saw his face turning red so he looked away from me.

"Also, I hate the way you smile at those guys. I only want smile for me. I don’t want other people to see you smile beautifully."

I can’t help but smile whenever he is acting like this. I pinch his cheeks. He is so cute when he is jealous like that.

"Why? Are you jealous?" I asked smiling but then he let go of me then look me in the eyes.

"I'm still your husband," he said firmly amd didn’t answer my question but it left me speechless. He just stood there, looking at me and waiting for what I’m about to say.

"Yes you are. That's why I still have the right to do this."

I caught him off guard. He didn’t even move when I suddenly grab his nape to lower his face and kiss him.

I've been wanting to this ever since I met him again. I miss him. I miss my husband's kisses. I miss my husband's touches. I miss my husband's flowery words. I just miss being his wife. His love.

And just like what he told me before on what I should do to make his anger subside. This? This is my punishment whenever he gets jealous. My beautiful and sweet punishment.

"You do know that the reason that I came back is because I want us back. So you don't have to be jealous. And now I got my sweet punishment, can we go back to the party?" I said smiling when I pulled away from the kiss but he just remain still. He is just looking at me. He didn’t even answer to my kisses.

"You should also know that it won't be very easy for you. You hurted me, Cass. Really really hurted me."

And there, my smile was gone.

"I was so damn devastated when you left me with that Aldrin. And I was so angry when I thought you just let our baby die."

He look up as if he was trying to fight back his tears but he failed. A tear still escaped from his wyes when he look at me again.

"But you know what? I though that part of my memory is already gone. I thought the pain is no longer then but I was wrong. When I saw you, that’s when I realize that the pain is still there, I just got use to it that I felt so numb. It’s still here," he said and pointed at the part of his chest where his heart is.

"But right now, it is even more painful for me after knowing those things, Cass. I could have been there. I could have save you and Liam," he said the look at my tummy. "I could have save our baby."

I walk towards him and was about to hold him but he step back as if trying to avoid my touch.

I was about to say something when someone knock on the door.

"Is there someone in there?"

"We have to go," he said then turn away from me. He opened the door and walked away, not minding the shocked face of the woman who knocked the door.

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