Song of Torment

Chapter Three

Chapter 3: A memory of remorse

"No," he said with finality in his voice as he look at me in the eyes.

He was sitting on his table and doing something on his computer while I sat on the visitor’s chair. He look at me when he heard no response.

His eyes travelled down my ripped clothes because of the fight I had earlier. I didn’t got the chance to change myclothes because I’m in a hurry heading here in his office. I need to get here first because he may not allow me to enter this building if he knew I was coming.

I tried to fixed my clothes and cover some parts of my body which are already showing. His eyes stopped at the part where my bra is almost exposed so covered it with my hands and he quickly looked away before looking at me again intently.

Those stares, which makes me weak all the time from the very first time I met him. And those tantalizing blue eyes were the reason I fell inlove with him.

"No? As in, no you don't want me to sign to your company so that your aspiring company would agree to partner with you or no, you don't want me to be part of the Rhapsody's Legacy?" I teasingly asked him and smirked.

It's hard to pretend that I'm okay. That I don't miss him and seeing him like this doesn't affect me where in fact, I just want to run towards him. I want him to hold me, touch me, hug me and kiss me. I miss him so much. I miss him touching me likeI was a porcelain doll. I miss him hugging me as if he wanted me to crush into him. And I miss him kissing me like I'm the most beautiful person he'd ever seen.

"So you are also the singer that the Black Sanctuary Company are talking about? That person which we need to convince to sign in our company so they will accept our partnership offer?" Matthew said as if not believing what’s currently happening.

Black Sanctuary Company is a theatrical company which is very much know in Asia. I was performing on my friend’s party when I came to know their CEO. Someone recorded a video of me singing and the CEO of BSC personally ask me to produce my music. They even offered me a musical movie which will also be produce by them but I decline their offer because I already set my priorites. 

"No, you're not signing to this company and also no, you're not going to be part of the RL," he said to me in so much anger. He was about to leave when I speak again.

"You need BSC. If you will not be able to convince them to this partnership, they will sign to other companies. Your rival," sabi ko sa kanya.

BSC asked for me again to sign with them but again, I declined their offer. But when I found out that Serenade Music and Arts Corporation wanted to become their partner, I talked to BSC and told them that I will only accept their offer if I become an artist of SMAC and they immediately agreed.

"How did you even knew about BSC? And also, I thought you’re hiding from me but here you are, wanting to become part of our company and even the organization I built which you hated the most?" he asked in an irritated tone which wipe off the smirk on my face.

The way he talks to me f*cking hurts. The sweetness is gone and it's now only bitterness. Gone the Matthew who always smiles at me.

"Well, I defeated your sister which is the only requirement to become part of the RL," I said to him.

"But I don't want to. I'm the head and the leader of Rhapsody and if I say I don't want you there, you won't be part of the Legacy."

I look at him and saw the seriousness in his eyes. When Matthew decided on something there's nothing or noone that could change his mind. But on our two years of marriage, my stubborness could sway him.

I look at Ethan and send message to him through my eyes to help me.

"Matt," he started but Matthew looked at him like he would kill him if he say another word which made him s**t his mouth again. After a while, Ethan sighs

"I should leave you two so you could talk properly," Ethansaid before leaving the two of us.

"You hated Rhapsody so much. You hated how we fight and you hated me for bringing you and your brother into the Gangster World," he said. "You hated me for entering your lives."

I couldn’t utter a word because what he said are all true. I hated him so much but as much as I wanted to hate him forever, I can't because in the end, I fell inlove with him. I loved him and that's why we got married and almost had a child.

"You hated me that's why you left me right?" he asked.

"You're wrong. I-"

"Then why?! I am ready to fight for you, Rei! Damn it! We even got married even if your brother is opposing it. All I asked for you is to trust me and wait for me. But why?"

I avoided his gaze when he said my name with painfulness on his voice.

"Why are you even here? I won’t buy your reason that you just wanted to become part of RL. I know there another reason for you to show up after all this years so you better start telling me now," he demanded but I just shook my head.

"I just want to be part of it," I answered and he looked at me again with those angry eyes.

I screamed when he suddenly stand up and throw the drinking glass in front of him

"F*ck it, Rei. You’re still gonna lie to me up until now? After so many years? F*ck all your lies. You even promise me to be with me 'till death do us part on our wedding day, in front of God but you still left. You broke that promise and you lied to me. So for once, Rei, tell me the truth," he pleaded.

I gulp a few times to stop myself from crying

"Because I want to be with you," I answered then look at him in the eyes.

We just stared at each other for a couple of minutes. Then he shook his head and turned his back on me.

"That's the truth, Matthew. I wanted to be with you. I want you back," I told him so he stop walking towards the door and looked at me again.

"I have a lot of reasons to give up on you back then but it only took me one reason for me to stay with you," he said.

Right there, I saw the tears on his eyes but instantly blink them away. That’s when the tears that I’ve been holding back started to fall. He looked down amd when he looked at me again, he is also crying.

"But what did you do? You have a lot of reasons to stay with me but you gave up. You gave up on me so easily."

I covered my mouth with my hands so he won’t hear my whimpers as I cry harder upon that scene when he begged me to stay but I still chose to leave him. To walk away from him.

"We even lose our child," he said in a low voice making me cry harder remembering our unbord child.

"So just go,” he continued. “You already lose your chance to be with me when you left me 9 years ago."

I wipe my tears and held them back not to fall again before I stand up and walk away. Just like how I walk away from him 9 years ago but this time, I will definitely come back for him and I won't stop until he finds his way to be with me again.

"I already asked you this question before your initiation started and I will ask you again, who are you really?" Rhyme asked when I bumped into her as I head out of his brother’s office. She’s still with that guy which I think his name is Shawm. Not his real name I assumed. He’s helping her walk properly as she got a lot of bruises and cuts because of our fight earlier.

I didn’t answer her question and continue walking but he held my arm and made me face her.

"And what's my brother talking about? On your wedding day? You and my brother?" she asked. Confused in what I think she heard.

I wonder how much of the things we talked about did she heard.

"I ask his secretary to go out first. You two are shouting which could be heard in the whole floor O thnik. Good thing the whole floor is my brother’s office," paliwanag niya. “So answer my question.”

"You heard all of it. You shouldn’t be asking about that. What you heard is enough for now. I can't tell you everything yet. This isn't the right time for you to know everything,"

"Who ever you are, stay away from my brother," she said before proceeding to his brother.

Matthew is right about his sister. She was so protective over his brother and she doesn’t like it when other girls is around his brother. That’s why a lot of people who doesn’t know them, think they’re in a relationship. And I'm actually one of them.

When I’m still with Matthew, I really thought he betrayed me and he is having an affair when I saw them together. I hid myself from them and just followed them. And when I asked him about the girl she’s with, he told me she's his sister. He even showed me a picture of them when they're kids and even dared me to introduce to her but I told him he doesn’t have to.

Those were the days we’re happy even if we are hiding from everyone. Those were the days where I could feel the overflowing love we have for each other. He will just sit on the couch while I'll lay my head on his thigh and we'll talk about nonsense things.

I immediately went home to tend for my wounds. Unlike Rhyme, I only got bruises and some wounds which are bearable compared to hers. I guess I should have controlled myseld more.

After so many years simce I left Matthew, I learned to fight for myself. I entered the world which I hated the most. I wanted to know what’s in that world for my brother to like it. What it so important and fascinating in the gangster world that it would me the reason for my brother’s death?

When I left Matthew 9 years ago, I've got nothing. I only have 10 dollars on my pocket. But then I met my master, Matthew's mother, Crystallyn. I almost got rape when my master and her husband came and helped me.

That's when she taught me self defense. But after learning the techniques, I realize that I wanted to leard more and realize that if I will enter that word, I might find that bastard who killed my brother. Amd the first step is learning how to fight. So I your master to teach me more. At first, she doesn’t want to teach me but I told her about my brother minus the Matthew's part. I never told her that I was the wife of her son. Because of that, he teach me everything I need to know, even the little things and her husband was the one who introduced me to the gangster worls.

"Oh, my God! What happened to you?" Heiz, my best friend and also my brother's wife asked me.

She's actually a doctor. A veterinarian but at a time like this, she’s the only one in my mind who can help me with my wounds and bruises.

"What happened?" she asked but instead I just shook my head. She knew about my husband and what really happened between my husband and I. She also knew the real reason why I left.

"He doesn't want me to become a part of the Rhapsody's Legacy. But I won't give up. I will never give up on him, again."

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