The Lost Alpha

I was running through the woods, a feeling of total freedom coursing through my body. This is what I lived for. This is what I loved. I was far away from people, and the sounds of the city, surrounded instead by the sounds of nature. I was long and lean, and fast. So fast, I could easily outrun any deer. Branches whipped at my face and arms, but I barely felt them. Rocks and roots threatened to trip me up, but I was too agile for their tricks. I just ran on. Through the trees, through the night. I could see the lake up ahead, reflecting the light of the moon. Panting hard, I slowed and trotted up to the edge of the water for a drink. But when I looked down, it wasn't my pale, sweaty reflection that I expected to see looking back at me. Instead, it was a jet-black wolf. I sat straight up with a gasp, startling not only the person sitting next to me, but also most of the rest of the class. "Ah, Miss. Andrea. Thank you for joining us." I cringed at the sound of my actual name. My classmates giggled around me. "I'm sorry, Dr. Grouter." I apologized. "I haven't been getting much sleep this week." "Out partying, I suspect," The professor scoffed and rolled his eyes. Well, now, not only was I sleep-deprived, but I was also annoyed. "No, actually." I responded tartly. "I've been studying for the MCATs. I take them tomorrow." "You really think someone like you is going to get into medical school?" I threw a glare at the girl who spoke, one of the 'rich girls' on campus. Despite boasting a progressive reputation, Black Lake University's student body still judged a lot on looks. The majority of the student body was the typical preppy, rich, cheerleader/football player type. But I was small and petite at five foot six inches, with dark brown hair and gray eyes. I was a little bit emo and a little bit country and a lotta bit of a loner, but I was also one of the top students at the school. "Of course, I will," I smiled sweetly at her. "Wasn't I the one to do your biology papers all freshman year?" I dropped my smile and slammed my book closed and grabbed my bag. "Where do you think you're going?" Dr. Grouter asked. "It’s 3:30. Class is over." I responded, not bothering to look at him, and walked out the door. I was a senior this year, set to graduate in the spring. I had all my applications to medical school sent and provisionally accepted. They were just waiting for my MCAT scores, and I was determined to ace that test. I just had to get through the next few weeks of classes and reach graduation. And then, I was home free. I tossed my bag onto the passenger seat of my black Jeep Wrangler and headed for home. I never really wanted to attend BLU, but it was a state school, it was local, and it saved me money for medical school. That meant I lived at home with my father, whom I loved dearly despite our differences. He was tall, fair-haired and blue-eyed. I was not, but he loved and supported me and was always there when I needed him. And that was what was important. I didn't really remember my mother. She had died when I was very young, and I guess dad couldn't stand to have pictures of her around. I guess they had loved each other so much, and her passing must have nearly killed him. As I drove, my thoughts drifted back to my dream. It wasn't the first time I had had that particular dream. The wolf dreams had started just before I turned 18, and over the years, they had just gotten more intense. Now, at 20, they were more vivid than ever. In this last one, I could actually feel the ground beneath my feet as I ran. I never told anyone about the dreams. I was afraid someone would think I was crazy or cracking under the pressure. And I didn't want to worry my dad any more than he already worried about me. I had graduated a year early from high school, and he was always concerned that I was taking on too much before I was ready. But I was ready for just about anything. "You're home early." Dad commented as I walked in the door. "Yeah, actually got let out on time today." I lied. "I've got some stuff to finish for school, and then I'm gonna try to fit in one more MCAT study session." "You want me to bring you a plate later?" Dad asked. My father truly understood me. He was a professor of English Literature and a true academic. "That would be great if I stay awake that long." "You should be eating and sleeping regularly." He admonished. "It's how your brain resets itself and builds memory." "I know." I said with a guilty little smile. "I just really want to do well on this test." "I know you do." He smiled at me. "But you need to take care of yourself first. Starting with, I'll bring you a plate later." "Thanks, Dad." I kissed the top of his head and went up to my room to start studying once again. The next morning had me up early. I had to drive an hour and a half into the city to take the MCAT and I had to be there at 8:30. Quietly, I put on a pair of skinny jeans with strategic rips, and a white tank with a gray plaid flannel over the top. I grabbed my bag and my supplies and pulled on my knee-high Dublin boots by the door. As I reached for the knob, I noticed the sticky note with my father's handwriting - Breathe. You'll do great. And don't forget breakfast. There was a little arrow. I followed where it pointed and found a brown bag. Inside was juice, a bagel with butter and an apple. "Thanks, Dad." I whispered with a smile. The drive itself was uneventful, minus the fact that I hated the city with every inch of my being. There were too many people, and not enough trees. But despite all that, I found my way to the testing center easily enough, checked in, and found a seat. It was quiet here as others, like myself, tried to squeeze in the last few minutes of studying before the test began. "Books away. Only pencils and water are allowed on your desk." The proctor announced. There was a flutter of papers and books dropping. I took a deep breath and looked ahead of me. I was sitting near the center of the room, looking at the backs of heads and the white board in the front where our time was written. This was the most important moment of my life. The one thing I had been working towards since middle school. My one goal in life. And I was ready. We had just returned from a short break and had just restarted the test when I felt it. A weird kind of nudging at the back of my mind. It was like someone was trying to push through my thoughts. I shook my head and concentrated harder on the words on the page in front of me. But the harder I tried to concentrate, the harder whatever it was pushed. I quietly put my pencil down and rubbed my eyes, taking slow deep breaths. "This can't be happening right now." I thought to myself. "But this is when it's supposed to happen." A voice responded. I fought the urge to jump in surprise. "No!" I yelled back in my head. "Whatever this is, whatever craziness is going on right now, it can't happen!" "Why not?" The voice asked. "Andy, this is important." "No," I said again. "This test is important. You'll need to wait until I'm done, and then I will let out all the crazy you want." "You aren't crazy, but fine." The voice quieted down, but I could still feel whatever it was sitting at the edge of my mind. Just sitting there, staring at me. This was it. I had cracked. I was going crazy. Is this schizophrenia? Bipolar? I wasn't well versed in psychiatric disorders, but an extra voice in my head? The feeling of having another person in your head? That wasn't a good sign. That was the first sign of mental illness. I shook my head again and focused on the test. I had to pass this test with a high score. My life depended on it.