Snow Alpha

Chapter 19

My eyes widen and my mouth parts slightly - no sounds coming out as I'm speechless, my reaction to the surprising statement. Blake had always told me that he doesn't have a mate, now that I think that could've meant as his is dead which is heart breaking as we're only late twenties, we have the rest of our lives ahead of us. I feel Ashton's burning gaze on me, he then moves and fixates it between Blake and Ben.

Ben looks into the distance, his face solemn, his eyes showing misery, showing his upset. My heart goes out to Blake for losing his mate at such a young age, when I heard 'was' I assume the worst.

I can't even imagine losing Ashton, I know we haven't known each other long in terms on mates but still the feeling of being with one another, the sparks, the sensational touches and kisses, the feel of their presence in your mind - everything. The thought of losing him makes me want to be sick, cry, scream out - I'm worried with the danger from Russell that something could happen to Ashton and that makes me fret.

I look back into Blake's eyes, for the first time since he told us the important information, he carries on speaking, "Ben and I were really close, I know you two noticed that we knew each other from our encounter. The incident happened a while ago, we were 22, so six years ago. We had found each other by accident when we were 18, I was visiting another small town and there she was. We immediately clicked, our humans and wolf sides - after 2 months of constant dates, we moved into our own little cottage together.

She had brown hair, brown eyes, tan skin, around 5'4, very beautiful. It was perfect, our own home, my delicate, little mate always in my arms - everything was right. Ben and I were best friends, everything was right and good. Then when she was 22, she accidentally got pregnant - we forgot protection once but that didn't matter, we were both fine with having a child together. We had everything prepared, the room, all sorted until one day I was out for the morning - to buy some bits from the store around a 5 minute drive away. Our home was situated on my pack borders, it gave us our own space.

In the car I felt an intense pain in my chest and instantly realised it was her, Elle, she was in trouble. I rushed back home, like a mad man, I find my home ransacked - Elle is tied up to the wall of our lounge and the room is full of full, grown human hunters. Once I arrive, I must've taken down about five men until I was injected with silver, just like my mate, her face was red from tears. She was constantly shaking her head and mouthing, 'the baby is gone' as she was injected with silver and would've killed the fetus. I was then injected with more silver as because of my rage I was stronger, they sat me down and they made me watch as they groped my mate, while we both protested, I watched as they tore off her clothes till she was bare - her inside thighs lightly covered with some blood from the lost child.

Their filthy hands roamed her body, she struggled but they didn't care, they then all entered her - one at a time, making sure to have their fun. They did all sorts, all while laughing - as if it was amusing. Her body by the end was slumped against the wall - totally drained of energy, the first few men she fought but then by the end her soulless eyes just bore into mine; her body moving with the rhythm of them, no fight left in her. Our white carpet stained with her blood, her thighs saturated in the coppery red substance, her hair matted to her head and her body covered in bruises from their rough actions.

They laughed, spat on me, brought her right up to me - but just too far for arms reach; just a little tease. They then sat her back down, they pulled out a gun and laid the cold, hard, metal against her head. She mouthed 'I love you' before her soul was stripped from her body, the sound of that gunshot piercing my ears. My wolf no longer present in my mind, I cried out - tried to tear myself out of those men's arms. They proceeded to knocking me out, when I woke they were no longer there and smelt like they had been gone a while - my now lifeless mate lying across from me. Her once sparkling brown eyes now dull and dark, my mind feeling empty without her joyful presence.

I crawled over to her body and held it for hours, so long, I couldn't bring myself to do anything with her - I just wanted to see her, hold her cold body. After a while, someone entered the house, but I couldn't care less if it was the hunters again to kill me - it would've been a blessing. Instead it was Ben, he walked in as if he already knew what happened. We fought for ages, he blames me for her death, I don't know what I think of it - I try not to think about it as it's depressing. After the incident I had no reason to stay in my opinion, I was supposed to take the Beta position, but I passed it to my younger sister, I just couldn't stay there. So, I left, that was the last time I saw Ben until now, I was trying to start afresh but I guess your past always follows you." He finishes with that, one tear silently and stealthily falling down his face.

When he was describing it, it almost felt like he forgot we were here and was just recollecting what happened to every detail, I felt slightly intruding about how he just shared those details, but I shake it off. I almost immediately walk over to Blake and wipe the tear from his face, I embrace him and rub my hand up and down his back while whispering soothing words in his ear - trying to comfort him.

He wraps his arms round me and nestles his head in my neck, allowing himself to cry, nobody says anything. Blake and I then untangle, and I return back to Ashton's side, where he wraps his arm possessively round my waist; he didn't say anything as I was holding Blake as he knows the boundaries, but he won't hesitate now while I'm in arms reach.

I turn my focus towards Ben who is still looking into the woods, I know neither of them will want to do anymore speaking so I lead them all back to the house. When inside, I lead Blake upstairs and run a hot, soapy bath for him knowing that's what he'll need, after this he will most definitely sleep after the physically and mentally exhausting day.

I then return downstairs once he is settled, I smell Ashton and Ben in the kitchen so that's where I head. I see Ben and Ashton both sitting on the stools, both silent just thinking about their own things. I head back outside and sit down, lathering in the natural silence - needing some of that. I sip my wine and close my eyes, this time hearing no growls thankfully.

I hear someone come outside, more precisely Ben, he sits on the same couch as I feel the dip in the material. I open my eyes and peer at him to see him looking back at me, his eyes now softened and holding many emotions.

"I'm sorry for challenging you and reacting the way I did, you are a wonderful Alpha and I've barely been here, but I can tell you are, I wouldn't usually do that in my right mind. I understand if you want to ban me from this pack because of the way I treated you, for that I'm very sorry." He says to me, I sigh and shake my head.

"I'm not banning you, you can stay. I understand that sometimes our emotions can control us but we all need to learn how to gain back control of our bodies after a little fight or emotional breakdown. Now, about the challenging I don't appreciate - if it happens another time you will be out. For the emotional control, I can help you out with that; it took me a while as well to gain control but now I'm far more in control and that pleases me. Also, don't be sorry for the fight, once in a while everyone needs to let our their emotions in one way or another, I just don't like the fact you would've killed my Beta if I hadn't interrupted - it is never to go that far again." I reply, feeling like a mother scolding but soothing her child.

"Thank you Adella, you're great." He responds, and I nod and go back to drinking my wine.

We sit there in silence, listening to the quiet music playing in the background and the fire gently dance in front of us. And that's how I spent the rest of my evening, and early morning.