Another Drop of Love

For the fifth time, I was tempted to go under the rain and feel its droplets on my skin. For reasons about to be unveiled, the downpour of rain has always been my safe space and my worst nightmare as well. It reminded me of a person, and particularly an event that happened. Since my heart was too slow to make a decision, my legs took the lead, and I was finally under the rain. I walked slowly, taking one step at a time, and the memories rushed in like wildfire. It was on November 10th, 4 years ago. I had earlier gone for some medical tests because I couldn't get a hold of myself. I had, at frequent times, felt dizzy, weak, and vomited at intervals. As confirmed, I was pregnant. The news of a pregnancy could no doubt be a source of pain to some people, especially if it wasn't planned, but to me, it was the best news ever. I hurriedly got the letter from the female doctor and sped out of the hospital. The child I was carrying was going to strengthen the bond John Fix, my boyfriend, and I shared. I boarded a cab and headed to his place to break the news to him. Sitting inside the cab, I couldn't help but smile sheepishly, trying to figure out how his reaction would be to the news. I rubbed my hands on my tummy, proud that I was carrying his child. "I want to build a family with you." I remember his words the night we made out. It rang anew, and I couldn't help but be happy that it was slowly becoming a reality. I brought out my phone and placed a call to him to be sure he was going to be at home to avoid being disappointed. "Hello, babe," I said as soon as he picked up the call. "Hello, dear, your call woke me up." A male sonorous voice was heard from the other side of the phone. "Oh! You were taking a nap?" "Yeah, I was. I just returned from work, and I'm exhausted." "Well, I'm a stone's throw away from your place. I have a big surprise for you." I grinned with delight. "Whoa! Okay," he dragged. "No problem then; I'll be expecting you." "Bye love" "See you when I see you," he concluded, ending the call. John meant the world to me, and I was fighting tooth and nail to maintain our relationship. I remember the first day I came in contact with him. I had gone to the shopping mall to get a few items, and he also came to get items too. I caught a glance at him, took my eyes off, and looked at him again. There was such a charming, unpretentious aspect about him that made me warm to him. Five feet ten inches, with thinning sandy hair, brown eyes, and an earnest pedantic manner. He got hold of the last item and headed to the counter to pay for it. Although I wasn't done with carrying everything I had written on the list, I went after him, hoping we'd get to have a conversation. He paid for everything, and the lady who attended to him gently packaged his things in a bag. I tried several times to talk, but each time I tried, my mind and tongue became frozen. He got hold of the bag and made his way out of the supermarket. I pleaded with the lady who was trying to calculate the cost of my items to hold on, and I ran after him. "Hello," I said from behind. He was putting items in the boot of his car and hurriedly turned to see who it was. "Oh! Hi, good evening." His voice was soft. "Hi, my name is Alicia Jack." I introduced myself, offering my hand for a handshake. "I'm John Fox," he introduced, locking my hands in his. "Uhmm, I noticed you inside the supermarket, and I got intrigued." "Oh, thank you. Do you stay around?" "Yeah, of course I do." "Oh, okay, I'm in a hurry at the moment, and I don't know if..." I reached out for my pocket, got hold of my card, and gave it to him. "The means of reaching me are in there. Please do well to give me a call." I smiled sheepishly. "Okay, no problem. Nice to meet you again, Alicia," he waved and walked past me. And that was how it began. I made the first move, and up until that moment, I wasn't regretting it. We were now into each other, and nothing else really mattered. Soon enough, I reached his place, and without hesitation, I gave a knock on the door. "Hey, darling," he said, giving me a tight hug as soon as he opened the door. "Mi Amor," I greeted back, planting kisses on his cheeks and walking into the parlour. "Someone looks excited today. What happened?" He asked, pulling out a chair and sitting close to me at the dining table. "Guess what?" I requested to hold his right palm. "You got promoted?" "Nope" "You got a new job?" "Babe c'mon. It's something related to you and me." "You got a ticket for us to go to Florida?" "Seriously," I replied, giving him an are-you-kidding-me look. "I've exhausted all my options. Get on with it already." "Okay!" I paused and took a deep breath. "I'm pregnant." The intermediary silence that occurred frightened me. I had let the cat out of the bag, and the look on his face was rather awkward. I looked into his eyes, waiting for him to say something, but he just kept looking back at me. "Babe, say something." I finally spoke. "I-----" he stuttered. "This is what we've always wanted, right?" It sounded reassuring. "Babe," he called, releasing his hands from my grip. There and then, I got scared, wondering why he wasn't happy about the news. I had expected him to be happier than I was, but I was getting a different reaction. "I'm not sure I'm ready to father a child," he said, dropping the bomb. "I don't understand what you're trying to say. Two months ago, you were talking about raising a family together. Why the sudden change of plans?" I tried keeping my voice as calm as possible. "I know, but..." "What buts?" "It's too sudden." "John, remember what you told me the day we made out?" The look on his face confined him; he hadn't forgotten. "I know what I said, but..." "Is there something you're not telling me? Why do I feel there's more?" Almost immediately, a knock was heard on the door. "Hey, babe," a female voice was heard from outside.