Fresh Cut

Revelation Week One The last two weeks were bliss. It felt like I was living in a dream come true. Far beyond the imagination of someone who already has everything in life that most people believe makes you happy. This feeling was real. Love. Not adoration from being famous. Love in its essence of intensity and what I hoped is truth. It was illuming into every part of my being, that people are more important than what we can acquire in life. In this total, all encompassing, adorning feeling of love from having met the love of my life and having gratitude for those things in life that are more real, I almost felt complete. However, I was still upset with BJ, that even though he was my best guy friend, he hadn’t told me he had a twin brother. But it was slightly hard to stay upset with him, considering I was now in love with his twin Abe… *** The distant yet thunderous sound of waves crashing on the beach outside my home, pulled me slightly out of my nudging thoughts. I picked my phone up off the table in the living room and remembered who I wanted to call before I was swept away in the current of time that went so fast when I was with him. “Babe!” Sandy answered. “Honey…oh my gosh!” I replied, letting her know by the excitement in my tone that I had big news. “Abe?” she replied. My elation immediately disappeared. “Yes, how did you know?” Sandy paused. “I don’t think you want to know.” “I wanted to be the first to tell you it’s official. Who told you?” “Honey, it’s in the Central Goss mag...” “Argh,” I exclaimed, protesting, before she finished. “There’s a photo of you, Abe and Alezmé walking along the beach not far from your place.” I took in a deep breath. I had learned over time to relax and ignore the paparazzi. There wasn’t much one could do after the photos were in print. I came to realize that even though they were invading your privacy, they still couldn’t, didn’t know you and there was only so much they could photograph when you were out in public. The door of your home, and your heart, could still be closed to your private life. “Of course.” My breath whooshed out. “A mysterious guy I was with that was unknown to the public, is certainly going to be lavish news for them. Does Britten know?” “Not that I know of,” she replied. “Good, I want to let her know too.” “Don’t worry ’bout it Kitty.” I could hear her smiling through the phone. “There’s more exciting things to think about like Abe…and you taking me to Milan.” She laughed. I gushed over his name in my mind and just the sound of his name made me feel a little dizzy. “Yeah, you’re right.” I smiled, switching my phone to the other ear so I could see Abe sitting on the sofa beside me more clearly. I really didn’t want Abe to have to be put in that situation, but I guess it’s inevitable, I thought. “Milan. Definitely,” I agreed and laughed with her, offering myself a distraction. “Catchup soon babe.” “Cool.” I closed the phone and stared into his eyes as he took my hand. I still remember how that small, significant moment that we had shared had felt, when Abe had first taken my hand, even a few weeks later. I was about to explain to him all about the magazine photos, but he smiled, looking more relaxed than I was as if it didn’t even affect him. “As long as I’m always with you…” He smiled again and breathed, relaxing. He was so confident I wondered if he already knew about the photos or had seen the magazine in a shop, and either didn’t care or if stuff like that just didn’t rattle him. Perfect. “Coffee?” he asked, jumping off the couch…smirking as he knew he had asked before I had. “Please.” I smiled back. “I better call Britten too.” I had to make sure my two best girlfriends were both in the know. “Wassup?!” Britten answered on the first ring. “Hey girl. We’re just chilling out…you?” “Was just thinking of going for a surf tomorrow morning, keen?” “Keen!” “Zuma sound good? I’ll text Sandy.” “Sweet,” I replied, but then a pang of panic shot through me. Abe hadn’t seen me surf before. But it would be a good opportunity to see the apparent lack of surfing skills Abe said he had. I didn’t quite believe that he couldn’t surf well, as he’s BJ’s twin brother and BJ is a legend surfer. I then tried to quickly recall what time his flight was, back to Arizona tomorrow. “Oh and I have some news for you!” I distracted myself from my thoughts and emphasized excitement in my tone. “Can I guess?” “Of course!” “You and Abe?” “Oh…I wanted to tell you first. I’m presuming you saw the magazine photos?” “Yep,” she replied bluntly. I loved that she was so black and white about things. “But ignore the media, babe, and I kinda guessed anyway. You’ve gone all gushy lately, ha ha.” “Ha ha. I haven’t, have I?” “Just a little.” She then laughed. “Oh no.” I laughed with her and watched Alezmé walk into the living room and sit next to me. “Who you talking to?” she interrupted. “Aunty B.” I laughed again. “Can I talk to her?” she pleaded, with a sweet look in her eyes that would melt any heart. “Sure. Hey Britt, Lee Lee wants to say hi. Text me what time you wanna go?” “Sweet! See ya later.” I handed Alezmé the phone and she walked off with it, happily chatting away. Abe walked back into the living area and placed a cup of hot, freshly brewed coffee on the table. I smiled in response, then realized he hadn’t made a cup for himself nor had he sat back down on the sofa again. I let him read the confusion in my eyes, then the realization that the time of night had come, when he needed to go. After the first few days that Abe and I had spent time together two weeks ago, it had now become unimaginable to think of us apart. The thought of not ever having met before was excruciating to think of, as it was hard to be separated even for a day or night, especially when he stayed with BJ in Montebello. Abe took my hand and guided me to the front door. I felt like I was melting, my reluctance to walk in that direction dissolving at his touch like melted white chocolate, now relishing the minute time we had left together today. “Miss you already,” he whispered with a depth of sincerity in his tone. “Same. See you tomorrow…” I replied, trying not to shake as he lightly brushed my cheek with his hand and then kissed the back of my hand that was held in his other. “Say bye to Alezmé for me?” “Yes of course.” I looked up to meet his eyes but he was already gone. His quick escape was becoming the only way both of us could now cope with the separation between times of seeing each other. This moment alone was now painful. I wasn’t sure how I was going to cope with his absence over the next two weeks, while he went back to Arizona. How I desperately wished he lived closer in Santa Monica, rather than Arizona, but I wasn’t yet sure how to bring up that sort of conversation. I wouldn’t want to leave my friends here, or the new life away from my parents’ fame that I had built by setting up Exquizit, the jewelry and accessory store I owned here. And of course Alezmé. I couldn’t leave her, or be too far away from my family for her sake as well. I couldn’t yet think of a solution but could only dream that things would somehow work out. *** I shook my head as I closed the door, trying to shake off the distractions but I was already wondering how Abe was as he traveled to Montebello. I picked up my coffee and took a couple of sips, inhaling the refreshing aroma on the way to the kitchen, trying to think of what to make for dinner as a distraction. “Oh!” I gasped in surprise, seeing a note on the kitchen table. “Oooo.” Alezmé raced up behind me and tried to swipe the note. I lifted it up high so she couldn’t reach. “What’s it say? What’s it say?” Alezmé pleaded. “Is it from Abe?” “…It’s you.” I read out, not understanding at first. “It’s who?” “It’s for me.” I smiled at Alezmé, and then raced, note clutched tightly to my chest, to my room. I sat down on my bed and reminisced for just a moment, breathing in the words on the note. In just two simple words, Abe had swept me up into a world of feeling those same emotions I had felt, when I had heard the very first words he had spoken to me, when we had first met... ‘It’s you’. At the time, and I now realized in thinking about it, that I hadn’t known exactly why he had said that. But when we first met, I had repeated those same words in reply as well, in realization as I had just seen for the first time, with my own eyes, the guy that had only appeared in my dreams at night. The one who I knew then in my dreams, and who now is the love of my life. I took a breath in, gently folded the note and placed it in the side table drawer next to my bed. I breathed out again as I left the room, knowing that if I had breathed in his cologne that lingered on the note, I may not have been able to move very far from where I sat, out of intoxication from his most perfect, attractive, manly scent. After dinner I retired to bed, giving up on staying up late just to mull over the fact that Abe was leaving tomorrow. Hopefully I will see him in my dreams… I realized my dreams have changed since meeting Abe. Abe was still there, and I almost didn’t cringe at the thought of having those dreams, knowing now who the mysterious guy was there, that stood from a distance by the same lake. One thing I wasn’t sure about yet though was seeing angels in my dreams. And after I thought I had encountered some in real life a couple of weeks ago, I’m nearly positive that they could be real. But why was there one familiar-looking angel in particular in my dreams? It was often there, sword drawn, huge, wide, white wings spread out as it flew through the air above the house and the same lake that was in my dreams. Now and again a dark shadow would appear by the lake too, searching, creeping, and even though an angel was there as well, it still had me on edge during those dreams. Maybe this was why I was still on edge for some unexplained reason? I wondered. I had met the man of my dreams, I was totally and completely in love, but there was just something that was still not right. Was it me? Was it Abe? It was like there was a tiny percent of the wholeness that comes from being happy that felt like it needed to be filled, like pieces of a puzzle I needed to fit altogether.