The Summer Bucket List

Chapter 12

I’m not quite certain, but compared to the very first time I got to the beach, the ambiance feels more blissful when August is here. In the back of my head, I could picture us, as if there’s a music playing, where the melody is the sounds of the waves and our laughter. Just that. Rock painting isn’t just about decorating and putting colors onto a hard stone, and the word fun wasn’t enough to describe the joy in a water fight. It became more special with August. I imprinted every second in my mind, memorized it, and instantly made it my core memory.

Our bond is so loud and jubilant. Like crazy and messy kids who have no clues about what’s right and wrong, as long as there’s fun in it. Even the stillness of the night couldn’t escape. Midnight stroll in the middle of the street, feeling it like ours. Screaming curses as we lay in the sand facing the quiet stars in the dark sky. Watching the sun set on the horizon while sailing on his yacht as we talked about stuff in life. We challenge each other on a video game, screaming songs inside the car while on a road trip, cooking meals from scratch. Just simple loud stuff, but beautiful and timeless.

There’s this moment when August made me a coffee one morning while we were unwinding on the front porch. I told him, I don’t want my coffee to be hot, just an exact warmness. Like there’s no smoke coming out of it. Like it can’t hurt my tongue when I sip it.

He did make me one, and it’s the exact warmness I told him. I asked him how he did it, because Easton never achieved it. So, I usually wait for my coffee to cool down before drinking it. He said, simple, I poured half hot water and half cool water in it. I smiled to realize how easy and simple a person can learn You, if he genuinely wants You.

And that one simple morning became one of the best days that I had with him.

Days feel like seconds, weeks feel like a day. Why does when moments feel so magical, time slips so quickly? If I could stop time, I would. No time is a waste, no moment is wasted. Because nothing felt more right when it’s in August.

It was then that I realized there’s so much that I truly missed. It’s not about studying all night for your dreams. It’s not about working hard and saving money for desired things. It’s not about owning a car, or having a perfect, stable life, but living in every moment and making the most of it. Call it silly, call it kid stuff, call it messy. But that’s what life is all about, and August Gaddisson made me see that.

And if this is it, if this is all there is — just me and August living this simple, messy life.

I would say it’s more than enough.

…

It's board and card games at my house. We played scrabble and chess, and just like when we were kids, August always won. I’m not a fan of board games, but I do like playing cards. Uno is one of my favorites, and that’s the only game I had the chance to win against August.

We were like ninjas covered in cards where only our eagle eyes are visible. And now both of us only have two cards left in our hands, making every second feel more tense. But I know his tricks. It’s either he’ll ask me a question or make silly faces to distract me. And, I will no longer fall for those.

A long moment passed, he didn’t do it. He just dropped his cards down below his chest. Uncertain if he’s just waiting for a chance, or if he’s making other way-points. He just glued his gaze at me. At first, I wasn’t affected by it, but as I looked deeper into his stares, it was dominating my defenses. Laid off from my illusions, my sight dropped on his lips. It looks full and wet. I blinked a couple of times and swallowed as contemptible thoughts kept swirling in my mind. On that tight scene, his eyes glinted, and a slight smile showed up on his face. He put his cards down with the other cards—he’s surrendering. I just blankly stared at him, and dropped my cards. Instead of saying I won! I didn’t. It didn’t justify my triumph, when it was obvious he just let me win.

“What are you doing?” I asked. “What?” He replied, in denial.

“Where’s your card?” Before I could search for it, he instantly picked it up on the table.

“Let me see it.” I wanted to confirm if he did lose. “August, give it to me.” I said, grabbing the cards behind his back. Unexpectedly, I couldn’t hold my body weight anymore and our mischievousness made it even weaker to balance. Both our eyes widened. We fell on the floor. When I opened my eyes, I was in a daze to discover that I ended up on top of him while his arms were wrapped around me. My throat tightens. I could see from his pupil a reflection of my face. He was looking through my lips, and only my lips! A feeling of a bolt of lightning stirring inside me. I instantly took my body away from him, escaping the sparks leaping straight into my veins. At that exact moment, my phone rang. I immediately stood up, grabbed the phone on the table and slid it onto my ear. I walked slowly away from the scene.

“Hello?” August slowly stood up.

“Hi Hon? What’s up?” It’s Easton.

“Hi, Easton.” I quietly looked at August, and found him catching a glimpse of me.

“How are you? I’m sorry I couldn’t call you. I have so much on my plate for the past days.”

“I know, I understand.” I murmured, half smiled.

“Don’t worry, I’ll be there soon.”

“Yeah. I’ll see you.”

“Okay, Bye, love you,” Easton said. “Bye, love you too,” I replied.

I dropped my phone and when I looked back, August was gone. I searched for him.” August? ”

I found him in the kitchen, preparing the popcorn. “Here you are,” I whispered.

His eyes gleaming, blue, but he was smiling in front of me. “Was that your fiancé?” he asked.

“Yeah” I rasp. I couldn’t even look into his eyes. “What’s his name?” he said, quite pretending like he was happy. “Easton Tanner” I shortly replied. He sees briefly, it was as if he was studying me.

“How did you two meet?” he asked while doing stuff. I know where this will go, but I’ll let it. Of all the people, I think he should know, but the fear in me combats that thought. “At a café in Seattle,” I answered, incomplete. I could see the question from his reaction, but I chose to ignore it by looking away from him. I don’t want to lie to him, or make things up. So, I’ll choose to withdraw. Surprisingly, he didn’t ask.