The Summer Bucket List

Chapter 18

Farah’s POV

Two weeks and the summer’s done. Everyone goes on with their lives. I continued my work and Easton too. And on half of our days, we spent it on preparing the stuff for our wedding.

But at night, I quietly sneaked out to see the night sky in the terrace, spending almost three hours there. Wondering if I am seeing the same stars with August. I closed my eyes, and imagine he’s with me in the quiet night.

And in the morning, before I took a sip of my coffee I waited for it to get warm. The perfect exact warmness of coffee that August usually makes me. I could see him in every stranger that passes my sight. He was always in my mind. And there are often times that I call Easton, in his name. I was often caught in a revery of him. I wasn’t insane, but it’s the only way I could cope up from missing him.

One night, Easton and I were having a dinner at a restaurant when I suddenly called August’s name again. He was quite upset, yet he stayed calm, but he also didn’t ignore it. Instead, he pulled out two boxes of jewely and put it on the surface of the table. Then, he let me choose. I was quite stunned, yet confused. “These two boxes are both jewelry. One is a necklace and the other is a ring.” He spoke.

“But before you choose, I’ll ask you questions and you need to answer me truthfully. “He paused there for a long moment, as if the words that would come out in his mouth would be heavy. It made me quite nervous and uneasy.

“Do you want to go back in Morehead?” he asked. Straightforward “Are you serious?” I asked. I thought he was just joking, but his face remained steady. “Just answer me, honestly.”

I want to lie to him, like I usually do. But instead, I said yes. “Do you love me?” he asked. And at that moment, I felt like I was being dragged in to a loop, uncertain If I could still go out or not. But still, I answered.” Yes.” It’s true. I do love him, but not as much as I love August.

“Do you love…” His voice suddenly cracked. “August?” I was right. I was dragged into a loop. I swallow, hard, and gather a heavy breath. This is by far the hardest truth that I’ll confess to him. And this is by far the hardest truth that would certainly hurt him. “Yes.”

His eyes stared, shattered, yet his body remained steady. “Now, it’s time to choose, Farah. If you choose the ring, it means you'll still marry me. But if you choose the necklace, I’ll let you go.” He spoke heavy. At that moment I felt an array of joy leap inside me, but I also felt sad. “Easton, you don’t have to do this…”

He cuts me off. “No, I need to. And thank you for being honest with me. I’ve been thinking about this for days now. Because I felt hurt not entirely for me, but for you.” He stopped there staring expressively at my eyes.

“Your eyes, they stayed the same five years ago.” I was confused.” The way you look at me. And as I looked deeper at them, I realized it wasn’t because you’re in love with me. It’s the opposite. Your love never grows for me. They stayed the same five years ago. And I have never seen you look at me, like the way you looked at August.” My eyes slowly brim with quiet tears.

“I am mad, and I would never deny that. Because I know I still had the capacity to fight for you, but it felt like I had no choice but to withdraw. Because I know you love him. And it hurts me to think I am letting you suffer every day by not being with him. But mostly it hurts to think, that you’re here with me, but your mind always thought of him.”

“Easton, I’m sorry if I made you feel that way.”

“No. It’s alright. I know I said you always lied to me, and you did, with your words. But your action is the most authentic thing about you, Farah. You cannot filter that.”

“So, you better choose before I change my mind.” He laughs yet his eyes remained sad. I tried hard to smile. I slowly pointed the necklace. He nods his head. It’s as if he knew it all along that I’ll obviously choose it.

He stood up and grabbed the necklace out of the box, stood behind me and put on my neck I rubbed the pendant gently as I bit my lower lip, trying to stopped myself from breaking down. I know he was a gentleman, but I never knew that he could be this heroic.

Then he hugged me behind my back. “For five years, I have always been true to you, Farah. And when, I say I love you, I mean it. And thank you, because for a moment, you chose me, and made me feel chosen.” He whispered in my ear. I stood up and hugged him back, tightly and deeply like it was the last hug that we would share together.

Tears brimming in my eyes. “You have always been so kind to me, Easton. Thank you for everything.” I whispered. We parted. He held my shoulders softly and spoke “I have seen how deserving you are of love, Farah. You just have to have a gentlest mind and eyes to see it. “I smiled and nod.

“Please do remember me in this necklace. It’s my farewell gift for you.” I cried silently in his arms again. He hugged me back and gently rubbed my back.

…

I’m back!

Gazing at the blue sky, feeling the summer breeze in my favorite place, Morehead City.

But this time with a lightest heart.

I walked at the beach at the same spot where August and I used to watch the sunrise together. I was a little awed to find August standing there, staring straight at the ocean while the golden sunrise fell in his bare skin. I found him, holding the Summer Bucket List. Then, I realized he was up to list number 3-Sunrise by the beach. He was doing the Summer Bucket List for us.

I walked towards him. “August.” I called his name with so much nuance. He searched for me, and found me behind him. “I thought you’re not coming back?” he asked the moment he saw me.

I smiled. I steady my feet to respond quietly. “Maybe I changed my mind.” He looked keenly on mine. “Why?” he asked again. I slowly walked closer to him and whispered, “Because for sixteen years I’ve been lost. I have been to many homes, but I never felt one that is real. And it felt clearer now to realized, this is my home all along, that you are my home. And I’m happy because I’m finally home.” It was deeper than what that home means, but he understood the nuance behind it instantly. He was purely enlightened by my words. I could see it in his smile-a smile filled with life.

“I lied August. I want you in my life, every summer, every season, forever.” My arms twined around him, my heart pounding from pure joy as the wind batters us, “I love you, August.” I tell him. He stared at me with teary eyes. It’s as if he'd been waiting for me to say that all along. “From the deepest part of my heart, I have always loved you, Farah.” He whispered as he wrapped me in his arms, the bottom of his chin going to the top of my head, and kissed it gently. His words soothed in my ears like a soft wind I would want to embrace forever.

“There’s something I wanted to give you.” I said. I pulled out the bracelet that I made for him this summer, and put it on his wrist. I was enthralled astonished when he revealed seventeen seashells’ bracelets. “I made these bracelets every summer for sixteen years, plus this year.”

I realized, he’s been doing the Summer Bucket List all these years. That he lied to me. That’s why when I found the bottle it looks perfectly fine and new. I smiled widely and my lips reached his. He kissed me back. It was the kissed that made me believe we finally have our happy ending.

From this day on, I will never left Morehead again. And I'll spent every summer in my favorite place, with my home.