Chapter 10: The Killer And The Devil
1283 Words
"One day, I decided to kill myself. I thought that if I was the only reason my mother was staying with that man then if I'm gone, she would be free. I took a kitchen knife and was ready to slice my throat open, but then I heard my mother screaming. I went to check on her and saw that my father had another knife with him, far larger than mine. He was threatening to kill my mother just for fun. There was no reason whatsoever. He was simply a first-grade psychopathic sadist. I became enraged and rushed towards him with the medium-sized knife I had. Of course, I was young and stupid. I didn't know which spot only required one hit to take that beast down, and my stab only made my father wince."
Fahd wrapped his hand around his neck and started massaging it, trying to push down the boulder up his throat. A soft and warm breeze blew into the empty hallway. He closed his eyes and left out a small gasp. Shadi didn't find out about the expression he was making. His face was filled with sorrow and pain as he held the younger man tightly, and Fahd gasped again, unwilling to cry. He opened his mouth to speak as his hand reached for his cheek.
He gently caressed the left side of his face. "My father turned to me and swung his big knife towards me. At the last moment, my mother pushed me aside, and the only damage I received is a permanently scarred face. My mother, however, had her back destroyed. The amount of blood I saw that day was something I don't think I will see ever again. My father then panicked. He thought he actually killed her. He let go of his knife and went to look for gasoline. He wanted to light us all on fire to erase his crimes. I equipped his knife instead and stabbed him repeatedly after he lit the house on fire. His body collapsed into it, and I saw it."
Fahd started panting, his heart beating faster. "Every part slowly burning. Very slowly. That fire was enchanting. I wanted to watch it forever, but the brain damage I received from my father's blow made me collapse. I thought I was going to die, but I made it. They couldn't find my father's body since it burned away completely, so he was declared missing. My mother also survived, but she had permanent nerve damage, and she lost her mind."
Fahd lowered his head. "Rania was already interested in demons when I met her. She hated my mother a lot because my mother was too naive, according to my sister. She told me that my mother's insanity was her own fault, and she said she deserved that as punished for being stupid. She refused to visit her in the psychiatrist hospital, so I would go to see her alone. I visit her frequently, weekly and sometimes daily, whenever I could."
Fahd paused to catch his breath. "She died when I turned seventeen. She died in her sleep with a smile on her face. It was a peaceful death, and I… felt happy for her." He winced as a tear rolled down his cheek. "Finally… A-After so much pain, she… she earned a peaceful and happy death."
He pressed a hand against his mouth and lowered his head. "I… was so happy for her!"
It took him a few more minutes to continue his story. "I used to hate Rania for saying all the bad things about mom, but I never hurt her. She was my sister, and I knew mom cherished her as much as she cherished me. If my mom loved her, then I had to learn to love her too, as her older brother and the father she never had. However, Rania hated me too for siding with mom. She refused to talk to me, and I could see she was going down a dark road of drugs and bad friends. I felt powerless until I heard her talking with her friends about how demons were made of fire. I remembered that beautiful fire that burned my father's body and thought… maybe that's what I was looking for. I… went to her and told her I wanted to learn more about demons. I… gradually got interested and found myself inside of her world. That was the reason that made Rania like me. Make-up is something I used to wear before that. It was there to cover my scar. Black clothes are the same. I decided to wear them ever since I was a child. The only thing that changed is something within me, and it was only a slight change…"
He narrowed his eyes. "But… it doesn't feel right," he whispered. "I… don't think my mother would be proud of the person I became." He glanced at Shadi, whose tears wouldn't stop running. “Am I… a good person?”
Shadi painfully stared at him. "Yes…" He hugged him tightly and kissed his cheek. “Yes, you are, you silly child… Of course, you are.”
Fahd's gaze softened. "Thank you…” He hugged him back.
"You're tired… We can talk about this later." Shadi wiped away Fahd's tears. "Isn't your makeup suffocating you? It's not good for your skin; your pores need to breathe sometimes, and those clothes are too tight for you. Dina said she found a room filled with clothes. Come on. Let's go find some comfortable clothes you can wear."
"The only thing I started doing recently is… dying my hair." Fahd confessed. "I'm twenty-three, but most of my hair is white. I can't even remember my original hair colour anymore. I'm too afraid to look at the mirror with white hair. I don't know why, but it terrifies me."
"That's fine. Come on, can you stand?" Shadi gently helped Fahd to stand, and they walked towards the clothes room.
A short female walked from behind the corner of the hallway. She stared at them from under her hood with an expressionless face.
"Warda, what are you doing here?" Sonia stood behind her. "Come back. Never leave my side again, and don't get close to that emo trash. You will only catch his germs!"
Warda bit her lip and followed her mother.
"Here we are."
Shadi entered the room and glanced around at the different clothes of all colours. "This is um… amazing, but at this point, I won't question anything."
Fahd smiled weakly and lowered his head. He blinked as Shadi placed new clothes in his lap. "Wear those."
Fahd frowned, staring at the plain white shirt and grey pants. He wanted to object, but Shadi cut him off. "Just try."
Fahd hesitatingly started removing his black leather jacket and his black tank top. He held the shirt in his hands and stared at its colour. "It's… a beautiful colour…" He finally wore new clothes and walked to the mirror. His eyes widened, staring at how he looked. Shadi stood next to him and patted his shoulders. "Can you wear this from now on?"
Fahd glanced at him and didn't know what to say.
"Black is beautiful, but eternal mourning is destructive. Don't do that," added Shadi.
Fahd frowned and lowered his head. "I… Yes… You…"
"It's fine. You can wear your old clothes if you like."
"No… No. I like these clothes. I just don't know how to… express it."
Shadi slapped his upper arms gently. "It's fine. You don't have to say anything." He smiled weakly. "Do you want to remove your makeup? Don't be scared of me. I will not say a word about your scar. It will not push me away."
Fahd raised his eyebrows. "R-Really?"
"Really."
Fahd smiled. "Then…"
He rested a hand on his face. “I’ll remove this mask, then.”
- Writer
