Chapter 9
997 Words
I know as a popular singer, as Jodie, my career ended when I went through this huge physical transformation which I will be living with for a lifetime. So I changed my plans and decided to become a producer. I immediately set everything up and used my money to build my production company, and co-founded an organization to help upcoming producers, directors, artists, song writers, etc. to grow, enhance and be trained to be the best in their chosen crafts, to professionally compete in the world’s biggest music industry. Ginny Records is one of my companies leading recording studio in the world. I earned heaps of money and been earning all through-out Asia, Europe and the U.S. However famous I am, I always reminded myself to stay grounded for my family, my employees, fans and most especially to my Alexa.
A flashback from the past where Jodie was just coming out of the hospital, done with her surgeries, she came out tired but contented with the results. She is definitely a man now. NO breasts, NO female organ and NO life she can go back to but to the one she knew from her past, her family, friends and her love, Alexa.
It took me several weeks to prepare myself and practicing how I would introduce the new Jodie, or Gin, the new Me, to my love ones. I first came and opened my new self, new Me to Basil and Sanjay. They were shocked and they couldn’t believe that I was Jodie. They cried and laughed but a bit awkward at first since they didn’t know how to call me, Jodie or Gin. They were both emotional and so relieved I survived the tragic accident they just saw from the news before. Basil and Sanjay remained loyal to me, though they knew were Alexa was at that time, they swore to keep it a secret and not to say anything to Alexa about the new me. They hugged me and gave me comfort. This gave me strength and courage so I can face my family and be Gin. They even gave me rum and we started drinking as men, though I got so drunk I wasn’t able to tell my parents about Me after. Hehe! Well!, I was able to do that the next day. The day came when I was in front of my mom and dad, explaining who I am and and what became of the old Jodie. My dad was very happy, because now I am a man, which what he wanted along time ago. But with my mom. It was still a lot to process. She cried, but gave me a tight hug. Kissed my cheeks with eyes so surprised of how I look and all. Hmm! I really bolted out and cried when my sister just stood in front of me and hugged me, kissed me many times while saying how she missed me. She also added, how sorry she was for being a bad and naughty little sister. Oh! I missed my family and I hugged all of them while I cried my heart out with so much happiness. At long last I don’t feel alone, not anymore.
But….not to burst your bubbles, that’s just a practice. I haven’t said a single word to my mom and dad. They knew I was okay and went out of the hospital. But they didn’t know about the surgeries and about Gin.
Crazy!. Yes it is! I am still on my verge of opening myself up and knowing who I really am. But I will need to have more time so I am able to introduce myself to my family without fear or confusion of who I am now, not who I was before. So I will not visit them, not at the moment, not yet! I am not ready to face them unless I have forgiven and accepted my past and I have totally moved on from it. Maybe when I tell Alexa the truth I will be free. Free from my past, Jodie and be me, Gin. But how! I was in mental and physical therapy for just a year that as if nothing has changed since then. I still feel a lot more like Jodie but just a man-Jodie and a woman-Gin. Confusing, yes I am confused but I learned to get over the fact that I am still Jodie but in a different form. I always wanted to contact my parents and Alexa, but I kept thinking how will they accept the new Me. So, not wasting time, I decided to continue attending therapies to strengthen myself and do yoga to strengthen my mind. I know I will be able to come out to my family and Alexa successfully. And I think the time is, now!...
It’s almost been three years. But a sort of nostalgia still hits me and if only I can exchange ny old life to the devil I would and be with Alexa again, to be with my “amore”. But I am here, I am Gin now and there is no turning back. I accept, love and rise above my self from who I was before. I embrace the new “me”. I love “me”. I am real, my own person, I always say that every day as I wake up in the mornings. Assuring myself that I am a beautiful and wonderful human being, which in fact I am, (he! he!). It was never my intention to become a trans-woman, transsexual since my body needed a make -over, due to the accident, the doctors had to do what they got to do to save my body and made use of what is left of Jodie, me, and become Gin, the strange man that I am now.
- Writer
