Rise, Fallen Angels, Children of God

Chapter 7

to my hotel. We talked about how it is easier to go through baggage terminals and detectors in France compared to Manila. I told Gin that I love France since it was the first country I visited since I started my blogging career. I added that I’ve been in 20 countries and  yet coming back to Paris is a wonderful experience for me always.  I took my carry-on  bag and extra luggage and turned around to thank Gin but as I turn around, “It was nice meeting you, Gin, ah! …..”, I said, but the man I was with mysteriously disappeared. I just shrugged and met my chauffer, after the bell boy took my baggage to my room. I went down the hotel, called out for my chauffer to drive me to the Ritz for dinner. Dave!, please drive me to the Eiffel Tower first before heading to the Ritz, I said. I suddenly remembered Jodie while driving to the tower. She told me stories about the Eiffel Tower and the famous hotels here in Paris especially the restaurants, where one of them is The Ritz.

“Till I met you, I never knew what love was, till I met you. This feeling seems to grow more everyday, I love you more each day, sung by Joanne Lorenzana (Filipino singer). The song that keeps on playing inside my head while looking at the tower going to the Ritz. I didn’t know why the song popped up all of a sudden. I definitely miss Jodie now. Seeing the Eiffel tower is a dream come true for me. I’ve always wanted to take a look at the infamous tower since Jodie promised to bring me here for my birthday. I wonder, what if the accident never happened, I bet Jodie and I are sipping wine and tasting the sumptuous pasta the Ritz could offer, I thought not realizing that tears are falling down my eyes. I really can’t help but miss my bae so much. I never loved anybody more than I loved Jodie, not even Edmund. She is someone I could never forget, ever.  “ Till I meet you again, my Love”…. No I think it’s about time I check out the tower. I haven’t gone up the structure because I was afraid of heights. But I guess it’s about time for me to overcome my fear and move on from my past. I have been in and out of Paris ever since. However, Edmund was busy with sailing that we haven’t seen each other for almost six months now. European cruise was his first choice but clients prefer sailing Asia these days and for years it’s very in demand with the royals and politicians.  I’ll probably see him after the six months before he goes to another European Exhibition like he was talking about a marathon for months chasing places, chasing time to be with me (hi! hi! sweet!). He said that because he loves me that much every time we talk over the phone.

Fifth Avenue is always busy. Bar A Champagne has the best drinks I can sip (though I wasn’t fond of drinking only on holidays or with occasions) endlessly. After Jodie left, I found the joy and solace in drinking wine or champagne with good music. Getting tipsy or high while listening to techno music is ‘life”.

Jules Venne , however, is the best French resto I enjoy visiting and eating in. It’s located in Eiffel Tower’s second floor. I’m already satisfied, living with their 190 pounds 3-course meal. I’m in love with their Granny Smith Zephyr (crab); Dubarry Cream (cauliflower) and their mouth-watering dessert consist of soft biscuits with bitter choco cream and roast buck wheat ice cream. Yup! This is life!....I said breathing lightly, as if letting all sadness, frustrations, unmet expectations out, when I suddenly heard a man’s voice calling my name from across.

HI! Alexa, right?!, some  cute guy in a blue navy suit walking towards me, greeted with all smiles. Yes!? I said wondering who this guy is. Oh! It’s me Gin, remember at the coffee shop? Gin Lawrence…we met on the plane this afternoon. What an amazing coincidence!!!, Oh! my God, yes Gin!. Wow!, I almost didn’t recognize you, you look very neat without the beard. Ha! Ha!, I added happily, feeling as if I’m meeting with an old acquaintance, and it felt so good inside. I’m controlling myself not to say he looked very handsome because we just met today and he might feel awkward towards me. Twice!, yup. Hmm! Coincidence, or…..well!, Paris is open for all and this is one of their finest restaurants here in France. People like Gin would definitely cater to fine dining and this sort of sophisticated lifestyle. The producer, right?, I added smilingly and sort of blushing when he kept his eyes fixed on me like he wanted to eat me or something.

After Jodie left, I decide to cut my hair short and wore it straight. I colored it brown and maintained the relaxed finish until now. I started doing yoga and practiced eating vegetables since I later found out that exercising and eating food with less carbs is healthier. So, what are your plans now that you’re in Paris?, Gin asked as if more excited than yours truly. I’m staying at the Ritz Hotel since my fiancé paid for it. But if you ask me, I’d rather stay in Hotel Beauvoir or in 132 Hotel to save money and worry, I laughed a little. But Gin burst a loud laugh hearing this. Ha! Ha!...a woman beautiful as you don’t deserve to say on cheap hotels, I would’ve done the same thing if I was your boyfriend, he added looking at me straight in the eyes. The Ritz is jsu as perfect as you, my dear!. I felt my face burning when he said the last phrase and I felt he was flirting though his eyes seem so familiar to me. Gin has a muscular physique, probably working out for that matter. His built is slimmer than the usual guys I see and I’m with. Like Basil but He is smaller, sophisticated, smoother and… Hmm! Okay stop it Alex! I like it better when he has a beard, and there are bits of them growing under his chin. He is indeed a very beautiful man…Okay stop it!  Alex, Alex Ehem! Gin said while I was busy dreaming about his looks and how yummy he is to me. He! He! Yup! I said biting my lip a little. It’s definitely destiny, cause I stay at the Ritz too, Gin added happily. We can chat more after dinner. Hang on, I’ll get my platter at the other table and join you. Would it be okay, Alex, can I join you for dinner?, he asked politely with a shy smile. What can I say, this guy is so cute, who am I to say no…Yes! I would love for you to join me for dinner, kind Sir! I said courteously with a smile.

So, your fiancé isn’t with you? How come?, Gin asked curiously. I don’t mean to pry but yeah! Well He is a Captain of a cruise ship he’s away on an a trip to Asia. We see each other every six months though. And he calls me via phone every day maybe to check up on me. Really! Hi! hi! I gave a small laugh. How about you? Are you on it for business or leisure? What are you doing her in Paris? I asked indignantly. I’m so curious about this beautiful man in front of me. And to be honest, I’ve never been so interested about someone since Jodie. I’m here for a quick vacation. I just finished a good deal with a certain company and would be producing albums for artists with Warner. So, I’m going to be very busy for the next two months. And I wanted to unwind first, breathing in the cold, fresh air of Paris before heading for work, till I drop dead after. He! He!, he said jokingly but seemed hurt after saying the latter part.

After dinner, Gin and I ordered coffee and went up the elevator to see the top floor of the Eiffel Tower. I didn’t know that Paris is so beautiful seeing it on top of this amazing tower. Hmm! I silently whispered to Jodie, “I’m here now babe, I miss you and I love you…” Gin seems so into Alex, and he is really. If Alex only knew who he truly is. She would jump for joy or not, seeing him.

See you next time! Oh! How about this Saturday? Gin asked anticipating a positive response. While giving a hand to call for my service. Okay! I’d love that, Saturday then!, I said gladly. How about my place? Gin asked happily. Sure! I’ll be writing stuff about Paris anyway. I’ll be locked in my room with my wine in front of the fire place munching on my chocolate chip and cookies. until I die alone but happy,  I added sarcastically as a joke.  Ugh! Ewe okay he! he! Gin agreed laughing shaking his head. You want a ride? I asked kindly. No, thank you! I want to walk and breathe the fresh a little, you go ahead!. Thanks for the wonderful evening, Mi Amore! Gin added bowing in front of Alex as he bid goodbye to the girl courteously. Alex laughed but suddenly realized how Gin said the phrase and remembered Jodie. I was looking at Gin while my service pulled away from the tower. I’m sure, I can’t be wrong. Jodie, is he you? I asked wishing that she reincarnated  inside the body of this beautiful man, Gin. Oh babe.

I laughed my heart out though in deep thought of Jodie. What if Jodie did came back to be with me? Gin is really funny and all about him is like a reincarnated soul of the woman I love so much. In a flash I remember Jodie, her funny antiques, her jokes and sweet sarcasm. Gin was still standing from where our car left off. I looked back to check on him, and suddenly I felt  a little sorry for him. What is his story? I wondered. I want to get to know you Gin. I will know you. I’ve got to know more about you, I said determined to uncover the mystery behind the beautiful angel named Gin.

I am still standing as if frozen from despair, deep remorse. A…! I want o tell you badly how much I miss you. I love you so much, but how can I tell you about me, the new, strange, me. I am a freak to many. I am different but not much. Yet I am a man now, Alex, a transwoman. I am like every woman though having a s****l organ of a man. Will you understand me? Will you accept who I have become? Now that a lot has changed?, Gin in his thoughts, asking himself, while taking a walk to God knows where. My heart is breaking as I went back to my place.

Ritz is so beautiful, very elegant with all the white and gold trimmings around my unit. I would rate this 5 star hotel a perfect 10 if I’m asked to.

In my room in front of an oversized mirror I checked on myself. Look at this body,! I said while taking off my suit and long sleeved top. What is the need for a bra when I don’t have breasts anyway, Gin said with disdain. These little stitches that covered my chest are yet to be seen since I’m growing hair on my n*****s. My body changed, my abs were the same but more muscular now with my upper body part and firmer down to the stomach. Jodie!, Jodie!, Jodie! I can’t recognize you anymore. Who are you now, and who are you becoming? Alex surely didn’t. Now, that I have this manly feature, and contour. You would definitely be surprised  I have a p***s too. Oh my God! The one thing I hated most to have is this. I so loved my body, my looks as a woman. I was adored, loved and desired by many. Now, who would want to have someone who had dozens of surgery to look like me, exactly like a man who I needed to because of the accident.

After my sulking, I changed to my normal pajamas and jumped to bed, breathing heavily. I can’t stop thinking about Alex, so I let her drown me of her memory and dreamed my way to sleep.