The Drift that Made Us

MYSTY Since then, people around me have said I was like a Korean drama's main character. I didn't know if that was a compliment or if they meant I was a mess. How could I blame them? The messier the main character, the more realistic it was. Like this one, I have been watching it since yesterday. It popped out on my recommendations. It was about a woman who broke a 7-year relationship because her fiancé was an asshole. "Are you happy now? I hope you rot in hell," the woman said. She was holding back her tears. "Oh, I will be happy without you," the guy told her. He was smirking and all. "Did you even love me in those seven years?" she asked. Her tears threatened to fall. "No, I didn't. Not at all," the male lead said. He was smiling the whole time. Was he a psychopath or what? I wanted to rip his mouth out and throw it in the ocean! But really, his eyes were sad even if his mouth smiled. It triggered something within me. A few days ago was the messiest day of my life. Suppose I could do anything to erase that part of my life. It was full of tears, uncontrollable emotions, and words I wouldn't have said if possible. I wanted to be another person who would never cry in front of the assholiest of them all. "Believe it or not, I love you. No one can take that away from me," Reed said, threatening his tears to flow, and they did. What the heck? "I don't even know what's true or isn't true about you! But one thing's for sure, I believed in us, hoping for that to happen. As it turns out, it was all an illusion," I looked away from him. I couldn't stand to look at him. If my rage took over, I might say things I didn't mean, so my feet decided to walk away. Water clouded my vision; this sucky suck suck suck! I could never let him see me cry. "Mysty, please. I believed in us, too! I hope you know that! I'd understand if you can never forgive me but hear me out, please." My back was in front of him, and his hands reached for my pulse, pulling me, stopping me from taking another step farther from him. "I won't forgive you! Your mouth's full of lies! Reed, let me go!" I bit the insides of my cheek hard, not letting my tears fall again. And then something so cheesy happened. What the heck, sky? Why would you let the rain pour right now!? It was like a scene from a K-drama episode. Dang, it! The sky was kidding me! He didn't let me go but instead pulled me closer to him. Reed! You had your world, and you only listened to yourself. My face was in front of his chest. "Look at me." He whispered, pleading for me to meet his eyes. When I met his eyes, tears still flowed from those beautiful eyes. Dang, it! Focus! He must be insane! If someone had the right to cry, it was me. "What do you want now?" I said without breaking our gaze. He wiped his tears with the back of his hand. I wiped mine when he faced my back. "Mysty... I know I f****d up, you don't trust me anymore, and I will regret breaking it. There are only three things I learned from all that happened. First, you're an amazing person. Second, I'm an asshole. Third, I fell in love with you when I hugged you." He said, and I couldn't help but let the tears flow. I felt his sincerity, but this won't work anymore. Fudge! Tears, what the heck? You were not supposed to let go right now! What a disgrace. "If I believe you, will you let me go?" I almost choked because it was hard to say. "This is why we need to end what we have through text. So I won't see you cry because of me." He welled more and more. Silence filled the air like it had sharp edges that sliced through my insides. Why would he remind me of that? This guy was unbelievable. "Let me go, please?" I couldn't take it anymore. I escaped his arms and walked away, drenched in rainwater, with one thought, if I saw Reed looking at me, I wouldn't think twice and run back to him. And that was the exact reason why mutual understanding sucks. A call from my phone disturbed my train of thought. I immediately hit pause from the remote of the tv. And before I answered the Facetime call, I popped a piece of chocolate into my mouth. I ran to my study table and sat on the swivel chair with it so I would look less messy. "Kuya, I'm transferring schools," I told my big brother casually. "What? Wait, why? You're in your last year in high school," he looked worried because his wide eyes were staring at me. At the same time, both hands were on the back of his head. Why the hell should I not transfer schools? Should I force myself to be happy and forget about the pain? I was not exaggerating when I felt like I was dying, even if I was alive and kicking. We were not even in a relationship, but it hurt as I got chopped into pieces. "I don't want to go there anymore," I said without explanation. I was so tired to even care about anything! I'm letting him know since he has been paying for my education since I started school. I hoped he would be okay with this. "Why?" he asked. My chin rested on my hand as my arms were on the table. I picked up a piece of chocolate and popped it in my mouth before answering him. "I don't want to talk about it," I said, and it sparked my big brother's curiosity about the thing I chose not to share. The older child felt it was a code for 'ask me more,' but no, it was not for anything. It was what I said—nothing more, nothing less.