Endless Nights

Flashstep: Part one

            A smile crinkled my nose when the little boy held his hand out to me. It was so sweet and sad at the same time. His dad wanted to help him up the ladder at the playground but the little boy wanted me to help him. I didn’t even know this blond haired blue eyed boy but he wanted me to help him. It was cute.

            I laughed and waved my hand. “I’m sorry I can’t I have to go.” I turned at trotted to catch up with my cousin, Kay. She was just outside the play pen with her niece Emily. Ignoring the little boy’s voice I caught up with Kay and Emily. I was the one driving today so I got to choose which restaurant we went to. Being me I chose Black Bear. I knew where it was and the food was great.

            “Hey Kay, the doors are open. You can load Em up.” I looked at her a moment before popping the trunk. There was a large duffle back shoved up near the back of the back seat, in it was my emergency supplies for my paranoid thoughts. I had these worries about everything ending. With the way things are right now with the economy I didn’t think it would be too far off.

            With my mind, everything was put to the worst case scenario so as a just in case I left supplies ready to go in my trunk. It was simple things like clothes, food, water, toiletries and some extra cash just in case. I also had a few knifes and a gun with ammo but that was one thing I wouldn’t let anyone else know about.

            “Hey tails?”

            I grabbed the water bottles set aside from the survival pack and shut the trunk. When I sat down I handed Kay one and one to Emily. “Yah?”

            “Are we still on for this weekend?”

            That was a few days away, it was supposed to be our joined birthday party. We thought it would be better if we just combined our party to one day sense they were so close together “Yah of course. Your house at two right? I bring the cake everyone else brings pot luck?”

            She nodded and strapped her seat belt. “Yup, Joe’s bringing meat to barbeque.”

            The engine started without a hitch and with a small pause I turned onto the relatively vacant road to drive to lunch. Before we knew it we were sitting in a little booth with food in front of us.

            It reminded me of when I was little; I used to go to lunch all the time with my parents. It used to be so much fun getting to watch everyone work together. With everyone bussing carts and delivering food, to me it was like a dance. Everyone was working as one unit and made it beautiful without being a show; somehow to me it had been a show though.

            Everything was a dance to me though so when I watched the world around me; it wasn’t the world that everyone else was seeing but a unique world with perfectly timed choreography that could only be mastered by true understanding of one’s nature.

            Even now footsteps seemed to be as one or the clanking of the dishes as the base to which the rest would keep their rhythm. Kay’s voice had melted into the rhythm I was listening to, I didn’t mean to not listen to her talk but it was easier for my head to listen when it was the music in which it lived.

            Smiling I looked out the window next to Kay, she was still talking. It was something about the party. I didn’t mind her making all the plans; I didn’t want a party anyway. However halfway through her thoughts of the party I caught the first opening I got. “Kay, its fine the way it is. Everyone’s coming over to celebrate our birthdays. We’ll play board games and barbeque. Just leave it at that. I’ll go shopping for whatever on Friday but let’s just stop talking about it. You know what they say, talk about something too much and it becomes old really fast.”

            She sighed. “I know, I just don’t want anything to go wrong. This is my first birthday with Mike. He may not like me after this.”

            My sigh matched hers. “Kay, you’ve been friends with him for years. He wouldn’t de-friend you after dating you for six months.”

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            Getting out of my car was easier when I wasn’t sleepy. Taking night shift at work wasn’t the best idea but it was the only one I had. I couldn’t believe it was Saturday morning already. I knew it was going to be a pain to go shopping at three in the morning but I needed to get what I was supposed to get yesterday but forgot to get.

            Sighing I grabbed a cart and drug my way through the store. The sweets isle called to me but I ignored it. I didn’t have any extra money to getting sweets. Luckily it was near the end of the months so my pay check would be coming in soon.

            By time I made it to check out I was forgetful of going through the whole store. I hated shopping this late, or early, because I always tended to forget something. I wouldn’t remember until later though.

            I chuckled at the lady behind the registered. It was Katy, a girl I had gone to school with. “I can’t say I envy you right now. Working such an early hour must really suck.”

            I put my small amount of groceries on the roller before getting my wallet. “It’s not too bad, it may be late but at least there aren’t many customers.”

            Smiling I paid for the food. “Too true.”

            Another few moments packing them and I was out the door and walking to my car. I was almost asleep. Shaking my head I tried to clear my mind with the cool wind. I managed to open the back door and pack my bags in. I paused on one of the bag and pulled out vitamin water. It tasted great. After a sigh and yawn I stretched.

            I turned and started to shut the door but jumped back a step when I saw someone leaning against the butt of my car. After a few moments I recognized him. “Dam Kevin you scared the crap out of me.”

            He chuckled and pushed his hair out of his face. He had hair that always seemed to be in the perfect style no matter what he did. “That’s not too hard to do this late at night.”

            Resting my hand on my chest I closed the door and leaned on it. I was pretty close to him, so close that his scent engulfed me. He smelled like pine needles and smoke. He wasn’t the hick type but he loved the woods. Something I had come to really like about the guy.

            “That’s because most people avoid contact with others this late.”

            We had gone to school together, lived by each other for a few years before he moved in with his Aunt. Back when we were in grade school we had been good friends, it was mainly because we were both outcastes. Him because of his strangely colored hair, me because people were afraid of me. However I didn’t become friends with him because I had no one else, I became friends with him because he was a fun person to be around.

            We always got into trouble but it was so much fun. We had been inseparable until high school. That was when the girls started liking his strange look. He was thin but muscle, and very tall. But all the girls liked his hair. It was a mixture of white and dark brown. He had been born with a calico hair mutation. The doctors had done many tests on him to find out why but they never found out.

            So when he became all popular I backed away and didn’t talk with him anymore. I didn’t hate him or anything; I just didn’t think I belonged in his life anymore.

            “Happy Birthday.” He looked down at me then up at the sky. The sky was really clear tonight, I easily found the big dipper.

            I smiled and mimicked his stance. “What’s happy about it? I’m no longer a teen but still can’t legally drink. Twenty is a horrible age to be.”

            He chuckled and shook his head. “Twenty isn’t too bad. You’re just starting your new life, anything can happen. Truth to it, there is something’s that can only begin at twenty.” He paused and looked down at me. “Sometimes they’re the best of what anyone can have.”

            I rolled my eyes. “Whatever you say pops.” Nudging his arm I met his deep brown eyes. “So what are you doing here anyway?”

            “Waiting for you to get off work.”

            Frowning I leaned forward. “I don’t work here, I work down the road.”

            He looked at me again. “I know I figured you would go shopping after work and this is the only place you go grocery shopping at.”

            I laughed and shook my head. “How do you even know that?”

            He shrugged and looked up at the sky. “We were friends for a long time, knowing you would shop here at this time is child’s play.”

            I was too tired to push for a good answer so I changed the question. “Ok then why are you here, really?”

            He had a look when he caught my eyes. “I’m here to give you your first gift on your birthday.”

            Shutting the door I copied his stance. “Oh yah? Why would you want to do that?”

            “You were my first friend here, why else would I need a reason?” His voice was the same thick throated tone as it had always been.

            “There are always better reasons Kevin, being a first friend is hardly the best.” Looking at the ground I finished my thoughts. “Anyhow, I’ve hardly been a friend to you in all the years since.”

            He stared at me with a very strange look. Leaning over he took something from my pocket and got very close to me. Brushing some of my hair to the side of my neck he reached behind me. He was putting a necklace on me. “More than you know Lilly.” It took a few moments of staring at his chest before he got it hooked. “You won’t regret this gift, so just accept it.”

            He finished and took my hair from under the chain and put it back to where it had been. I looked down at it to see what he had given me. It was a circle with a Celtic swirl in the metal. The chain was some design that was repetitive. In all it was beautiful. In the center was a deep blue stone the shape of an eye.

            “Kevin I can’t accept this, it’s beautiful but I don’t deserve it.” I went to take it off but he grabbed my hands before they got to the clasp.

            He took a step closer, so close that our faces were inches apart. His eyes caught me up so I was frozen. “Just keep it for a few days and if it doesn’t grow on you I will take it back. Deal?”

            I couldn’t look away, it was like I was caught in some spell. “I.. ok. A few days.” My tone was neutral.

            He smiled again and let go. “Ok, I’ll see you when I see you then.” He turned around and walked away with a relaxed gaunt. Over his shoulder he said his last words. “Happy Birthday Lilly, I hope you like this one.”

            It wasn’t until he was too far away that I came out of the freeze. Shaking my head I turned around and got into the car. It didn’t really matter now, he was already gone.

            I started the car; the seat belt automatically went in place, and started out of the parking lot. That was strange; I hadn’t expected something like that to happen. Let alone to see Kevin again at such a strange time.

            In three turns I was out of town and heading to the back forty where my house was. It was about a ten minute drive from the store to my house, along the way the landscape changed jurasticly. It went from city to just trees and grass, not including the huge volcanic rocks you could find everywhere here.

            Along the curvy drive I started to zone out. It was common for me to drive while hardly seeing. It was like I was seeing what was in front of me but my thoughts were so huge that my mind wasn’t registering that it was actually see what was in front of it and not the pictures zooming through my thoughts. More often than not I was I a place where books were played out.

            I made it home without seeing the drive, walked up the front steps without realizing it, put away the groceries by habbit and was in bed clothes on my bed in a flash. Life would flash by like this all the time, it was so easy to live in the world inside my head that it had become a force of habit. A terrible habit but there none the less.

            Soon the light was off and I was staring into the darkness wondering how long I had to stay at the birthday party tomorrow. I knew I had to be there by two which meant I wasn’t going to be there until three. In order to make the cake I would have to be up by eleven which meant I had around seven hours of sleep. I would defiantly hate myself in the morning.

            I pushed thoughts out of my head so I could blank out; the necklace was an unfamiliar weight against my chest that caused me to think of it. It was hard not to think of it. I could sleep with it on, like I did with my other jewelry. If I didn’t keep it on, I would lose it.

            After a while I was able to drift off into a fitful dream state. Everything was fuzzy; it was like the dream was covered in clouds. I didn’t think I would be able to remember it other than the vague notion that Kevin was in it. We had talked words that were lost to me.

            Pain in my lower back woke me. I had been lying in an odd position that caused it to ache. My left arm was trapped behind my back with my legs tucked under me. It was an odd position to wake up in.

            I unfolded myself and settled back on the wet sheets. It was common for me to sweat a lot in sleep but this felt weird. The sheets were sticky. It wasn’t a big spot but I could feel the difference in the spot by my shoulder.

            I wiped my face, wondering if I had drooled. When my hand touched my face my fingers were numb. It was so off that it startled me. Flinching I sat up. I touched my left fingers to my right. I could feel wetness on my hand. It was gooey and sticky. Jumping up I found the light switch. I stood there frozen when I realized why my hand was sticky.

            Blood.

A lot of blood.

            How could I have gotten so much blood on me, this looked to be too much for a scratch in the night.

            Opening the door of my room I turned to the bathroom and closed that door behind me. The lights were on and the reflection was pale. There was blood all over my chest and arms. I looked for where it had come from and found it in seconds.

            On the back of each hand was half an arrow, the one on the left had the left side and the same of the right. On my chest what a sharp R with half of an arrow tip pointing to the left on the back. Each were shallow gashes that had produced a lot of blood. Given a few months and they would be white scars.

            How had they gotten there?

            Holding my hands out in front of me I looked at the half arrows, they seemed familiar somehow. Where could I have seen these before?

            While I was staring at the cuts the room darkened. It became thicker so fast I didn’t notice until I couldn’t move my limbs without great pressure. The best way my mind could wrap around the concept was to think of it as air made of thick jellow and it got thicker by the second.

            Is this a dream?

            How could this happen?

            Panic laced through me, this was worse than any dream I had had before. I couldn’t move I couldn’t breathe. Air wouldn’t go into my lungs. Would this dream kill me?

            My bathroom fell away, lights flew pass almost like shooting stars. It was dark so those lights were the only light around. I didn’t think I could hold my breath any longer, my lungs screamed for air as badly as my limbs ached to move.

            I closed my eyes so the swirling world around me didn’t make me freak out any more than I was. How do you wake yourself up?

            This is a dream, this isn’t real. You have to wake up. It was the only thing I could think of to focus my mind on. I don’t think I had ever managed to wake myself from a dream before.

            The pressure changed, lessened. Did I do it?

            It got less until I could feel that I was on the floor. I must have been sleep walking or something. Maybe I followed my dream and went the bathroom. But the floor felt like wood against my legs.

            I reached out and ran my fingers over it to confirm. It was defiantly wood. Maybe this was a chain dream. I had those a lot lately. It’s when you wake up from one dream only to be in another. Breathing slowly; something is off about my body. It felt different, smaller. Cracking an eye open I saw wooden planks for the ceiling above me. I wonder what would happen in this dream.