Turmoil: Book Three of The Shadow Goddess series

Chapter Eleven

I teleported myself away from the guys and back to my cottage, my heart pounding painfully in my chest. They broke the wards I built to keep them safe. Did they care about everything I went through to keep them safe? I don’t think I could really blame them for trying to break the wards and come find me. If I were in their position, I would do the same thing. I wouldn’t want to be separated from them. But I put myself through hell to keep them safe. To keep Zeus from finding them. They show up now? Now of all times? The titans just got here a few hours ago, they haven’t even settled in yet. So now, not only do I have to gather and introduce the titans to everyone, I had to introduce my men. Men who were never supposed to be here.

“Rose, are you alright?” Roman asked, standing from where he was sitting in my dining room. I’d left him here when I felt something hit the barrier. We were both trying to apologize for what went down before I went to the underworld.

“No.” I told him honestly, dropping onto the couch, laying down with my arm covering my eyes. I had to swallow my pain, my fear. I had to keep the anger and devastation at seeing them locked up tight. Because I knew if I let it all out, it would completely consume me. In my time away from them I’ve had a chance to harden my heart, ward it to outside pain. Though it sometimes broke through. “My mates, my bonded, broke the ward I had locked them behind and found me. I had Cronos escort them to a few cottages at the end of the island.”

“Maybe you should talk to them.” Roman said lifting my legs so he could sit down at my feet. He lay my legs across his lap and rested his head against the couch. “They love you Rose, and I am positive they miss you. All of you are in pain. Maybe it’s time to put everything behind you.”

“You don’t understand. I already blame myself for everything that’s happened. Their lives would be normal, safe if it wasn’t for me. Well, everyone but Hades and Cassius at least. Hades was locked in the underworld and Cassius was an expendable prisoner of the counsel. Cassius would probably be dead without me.” Sharp pain lanced my heart as I spoke. “Either way, not only did I blame myself, they blamed me. For things that wasn’t even my fault. Micha, one of my best friends willingly gave up his position as high elf for me. I never asked him to do it, and I tried to stop him. But he did it anyway, then blamed me for him having done it.” I shook my head and sighed. “No. I don’t think going to them is a good idea.”

“Rose. You’ve all been away from each other a few months. While you have been here building an army, and entire island to fit everyone and training them. They have had time to think about what happened and strategize on how to break free and come to you. That is devotion. They love you Rose, give them another chance.”

“I love them too Roman. So much it hurts. Being away from them has been killing me slowly and painfully. But I did it to keep them safe Roman, because I don’t know what I’ll become if another one of them die. I don’t want to know what I’ll become.” Tears stung the back of my eyes as I explained it.

“Another one?” Roman lifted his head to look at me.

“When I freed Hades, some of his demons followed him and killed my Tristian.” I whispered. “I completely broke. Darkness and pain overwhelmed me. Now that I’ve gained some control, have learned of some of my power. I don’t know what would happen of I lost one of them.”

“it’s their lives to endanger Rose.” Roman said softly. “Bonded or not, you should let them decide what to do with it.”

I knew he was right. I’ve known for a while. It was their life, I shouldn’t try to control it. They could do whatever they wanted with it. But I didn’t want to believe it when I locked them inside the palace grounds. The only thing I could think was to keep them safe and alive. To keep them from the war I knew was right over the horizon. Aaron, Phoenix, Ryker, Micha, they weren’t gods. They could easily be killed by one. Cassius, Hades and I were the only gods in our group, the only ones unable to be killed. Well, they could be killed, it’s just really hard to do so. Me? They could hurt me, but couldn’t kill me. That fact by itself scared the day lights out of me. What would I do with an eternity? What would I do after my men died?

“Maybe you’re right.” I sighed sitting up. “But not right now. Now it’s time to go train with Atlas. He’s already started with the others.

“You know Sydney wants to fight.” Roman told me softly.

My body went ram rod straight. “No, absolutely not. She is only twelve years old. She can train, learn to defend herself. But her and your mother will stay here.”

“My mom won’t do that.”

“Yes, she will. Sydney would need her. If anything happened to you or to me, she would need her mother. Even if we all, by some miracle come back safe, a girl needs her mother. So, no. I will not be responsible for taking a young girl’s mother from her. Enough blood will be shed as it is.”

“Huh, you’re right.” Roman rubbed his chin between his thumb and forefinger. “I don’t think she was thinking about things that way. I need to go tell her.” Roman stood and gave me a hesitant hug before leaving.

I found myself wondering what’s gotten into some people. Sydney needed Beth. And all the other needed each other. They were all family. Was I being cruel? Recruiting people for this war? It would affect all of us, not just me. So they would be protecting the realm, that was honorable. The titans were doing it for their freedom and new positions within the realm. And they all seemed happy with what had been offered to them. Cronos above all was down right giddy about fighting Zeus again. But I saw the fear in Hades eyes when he saw Cronos. I saw the flicker of betrayal. But he didn’t know how hard any of this was. Leading an army, training an army.

Just yesterday Lilith had even sent some kind of message to the creatures of the dark to come here and train with us, to fight with us. We’ve already had a few medusas, hell hounds, Cerberus, and fury’s reach us. The relief I felt when I saw Athena among them was unexplainable. I feared she had been killed or captured with the others. I hadn’t kept up with anyone else’s names though. Do you know how hard it is to remember so many names? It’s freaking impossible.

With a heavy heart and mind, I made my way to my room to change. Same as every other day I wore black leggings with a black sports bra to train. Atlas has only been training about an hour or two and I was excited to see what he had in store for all of us. And I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t nervous. Mom may have had me training since I could walk, but Atlas was a titan. There was infinite knowledge on combat he could teach me. Teach all of us.

“Goddess.” Sebastian called from ahead of me, his arm waving in the air like a lunatic.

“What have I said about calling me goddess?” I asked, pinching the bridge of my nose.

“I apologize.” He inclined his head. “Rose, Atlas is asking for you.”

I rolled my eyes. “I’m on my way there now.”

He just nodded, turned from me and ran back the way he’d come. The man was in a hurry, and it made me chuckle. None of us were going anywhere, his rush was completely unnecessary. But it made me just a smidge happier to see him excited about training with the titan. I wondered how bad Atlas was pushing them. I was positive they would be hurt during training, I asked Atlas not to go easy on them. They all needed to learn and learn fast. What other way was there?

Reaching the training grounds, I got there just in time to see Atlas toss one of the Cerberus over his shoulder. In shifted form. The beast landed harshly on his side, air rushing from his lungs on impact. Atlas was scowling down at the beast in disappointment. While Atlas was busy glaring at the three headed beast, Sydney creeped up behind him, crouched low to the ground. Her hands were out in front of her like she was about to tickle to titan. She shocked me when she launched at him, her tiny body clinging to his back like a spider monkey.

Atlas didn’t budge at the impact, his body not even swaying. The corner of his lips tilted up a little as he turned his head and looked over his shoulder at the young girl. Sydney’s eyes widened for a split second before she released her death grip, dropping herself down his body. Quick as a whip Atlas turned and grabbed Sydney before her feet touched the ground. He held her suspended in the air by her waist, making sure to keep her at arm’s length.

“Very cleaver.” Atlas praised. “But you’re not strong enough to take me child.” He sat her down gently on her feet and crossed his arms over his chest as he stared down at her. Sydney’s eyes blazed with anger. She snorted at him, crossing her own arms over her chest mockingly. The tiny girls barely reached the man’s waist, but she glared up at him like she was his equal. Brave girl. However, before I could blink, the girl rushed him, punching him with all her strength in the only place she could reach. His man hood. A very high pitched and unflattering screech came from him as he grabbed himself and dropped to his knees. His eyes watered as he groaned.

I couldn’t help it, I laughed. I mean stomach hurting, eyes watering laugh. Sydney had used her size to get the upper hand on the titan, effectively bringing the large man to his knees. “Wow.” I panted, trying to stop laughing and catch my breath. “Good job Sydney.” She looked over to me with wide eyes, before the shock transformed into pride. Her eyes glittered as she squared her shoulders and puffed out her chest.

“Thank you, your majesty.”

“Please, just call me Rose.”

I walked past her and knelt beside Atlas. I allowed my healing ability to wash over him, easing the hurt. “You just got bested by a twelve-year-old girl.” I laughed, standing when I knew his pain had ceased.

“That little gremlin just punched me in the dick.” Atlas growled. “That’s dirty fighting.”

“No, that’s her using her size difference to her advantage. You’re a very large man compared to her. She used that against you. Never underestimate a girl, no matter the age.” I chuckled.

“Your men have to be the most annoying people on the planet.” Krios growled, stomping her way to me. “They are berating Iapetus, cursing Cronos, and all but beating the doors down.”

“Ugh!” I groaned, throwing my head back. “I guess I need to go talk to them.”

“Ya, think?” Krios hissed.

“You don’t understand Krios.” I looked over to her. “You don’t understand what I’ve done to keep them safe, what they’ve put me through.” I shook my head. “I never intended to face them again until after the war was over.”

“You’re young Rose.” Krios dropped her aggravated glare. “They’re your mates, your bonded and though you all have been utterly awful to one another, you need each other. Did you even look at them when you met them outside the barrier?”

In fact, I did. I saw their ragged appearances, saw that they haven’t been taking care of themselves. And it broke my heart. Cassius and Ryker looked like they’ve been starving themselves. Micha looked thinner, frailer than I’d ever seen him. Phoenix looked the same, other than the dark circles under his eyes, the intense pain within their depths. His hair had grown out and was all over the place, he’d grown a beard. Hades, like phoenix looked the same, but different. His copper hair had grown wild and shaggy, and like Phoenix he had a beard. Aaron looked almost like he’d gone dark. His already hard and stoic stature had grown into iron. His eyes full of heartache. They all had responded to my absence in different ways, though all was terrible. They’d neglecting themselves in order to break the barrier I’d placed on the palace to hold them.

“Yes. I saw.” I murmured.

“Go to them Rose. You need each other.” Krios placed her hand on my shoulder and squeezed gently before dropping her hands and going to stand beside Atlas. I didn’t want to do this, not yet. But Krios was right, I had to. I didn’t know what I was going to say, or what I was going to do, but I knew I had to go to them. And I knew once I got to them, got close enough to them, the bond between us would open like flood gates. Our emotions would crash into each other like a tsunami. A tsunami I knew would bring all of us to our knees.