Turmoil: Book Three of The Shadow Goddess series

Chapter Twelve

I knew the moment I got the them that my options were going to be limited. They would totally freeze up, they would completely overwhelm me, or they would be so mad they would fly into a rage. Hey, who knew maybe it would be all three. I honestly wasn’t sure what to expect, and I wasn’t prepared. I had gotten used to being without them. It had only been a few months but felt like so much longer. Being without them felt like being without my soul. Have you ever tried living without your soul?

I knew what I had been through, but what about them? What had they been through? What had they done to get through the barrier? Why had they even tried? Were my intentions to keep them alive and well not good enough for them? Did they want to die? To risk their lives needlessly? What exactly were their plans once they found me? I wondered if they had even thought through most of their plans, or if it was a step-by-step thing.

I guess if things were flipped around, I would have done the same thing. There was no way I would have allowed them to leave me behind while they went out to fight some kind of war without me. I would have fought tooth and claw to make my way back to them. Had I made a mistake in trying to keep them safe? Had I made a mistake leaving them behind and locking them away? It’s not like I kept them as prisoners. They had endless amounts of space, indoors and out. But I guess that’s not really the point, is it? I kept them somewhere they didn’t want to be. I groaned heavily. I am such a terrible person. Even when I try to be a good person and keep the people, I love safe I do it in the worst of ways. What was wrong with me?

When the six cottages of the guys came into view the first thing, I noticed was the annoyed face of Iapetus. Her brows were furrowed and her lips were sealed into a thin line. Behind her the guys formed a line, all of them seeming to be berating her verbally. I had to hand it to her. She was doing a remarkably good job ignoring them. However, by the looks of her it wasn’t going to last much longer. The guys did look better though. They had showered, shaved and cut their hair. They all looked close to how I remembered them.

“I think Iapetus has been bothered enough.” I said, striding from behind the trees I was using as a hiding place.

“Rose, thank the gods. I don’t think I could have taken much more of them.” Iapetus said as she stood and approached me. She still completely ignored the guy’s existence, which was amusing. “How did such a powerful woman ever end up being bonded to such whiny men?” She demanded, hugging me gently.

“They’re worried, not whiny Iapetus. I think you’ll like them if you got to know them.” I assured her.

“I doubt that.” She wrinkled her nose. “Hades hasn’t changed.”

“Do not go there.” I warned her. “Hades is not the man you remember. He is a good man. The way he is now is my fault. And I fear there is worse yet to come.”

“What do you mean?” Her voice lowered as her eyes seemed to narrow a little on me.

“The presence of the titans won’t help Hades. And I fear, nothing I say will do any good. I knew this would be a possibility. I told all of you this just as well. It was an outcome I was prepared for.” My eyes moved from her to Hades who was staring at me and Iapetus like he was staring at some kind some circus show. “I guess we will soon find out how much faith Hades truly has in me.”

“Good luck.” Iapetus walked away without another word, leaving me alone with the men I loved and vowed to protect no matter the cost. Before I could even turn to them fully, I was being swept up into warm strong arms, my feet flying off the ground. Peppermint and earth invaded my senses completely blocking out everything else around me. God, how I’ve missed him. I wrapped my arms around his neck and burrowed my face into his neck, clinging to him tightly. No matter how much I wanted to keep them safe feeling him here in my arms after so long was unlike anything I’ve felt in a long time. It felt like coming home.

“Rose.” His voice was a hoarse whisper, his fingers tangling into my hair as he held my head close to him. “You can’t ever do that to me again.” His words pierced my heart. I couldn’t do it again even if I wanted to. Doing it once was hard enough. I had convinced myself it was for their own good. I pulled away, pushing his still shaggy blonde hair from his face so I could look into his midnight eyes.

“I promise I will never leave you again.” I murmured, my eyes never once leaving his. Before he could respond I was ripped from his arms and pulled against the hard chest of Hades. He clung to me just as tightly as Cassius. His golden eyes blazed with fire that seemed to extend to his bronzed skin. His entire being seemed to burn as he held me.

“Why did you leave us?”

“To keep you safe, away from the fighting, away from Zeus.”

“And away from the titans.” Hades finished.

“No. I’m not worried about the titans. I have a blood oath with them. They cannot harm you, Hades. I made sure of it.”

“You made a blood oath with the most powerful titans, so I wouldn’t be harmed?” He asked, the fire seeming to rage brighter.

“Among other things yes.” I nodded. “We needed their help; we couldn’t win this without them.”

“You were careless to release them.” Hades said. He pulled me into him and I nuzzled into his chest. “But you’re right. We do need them.” I was relieved to hear him say that. Because despite what I had said, I don’t know what I’d do if he did end up hating me. I know I would have to live with it, I just don’t know how I would.

I was in Phoenix’s arms next. He held me with so much strength I thought my bones were going to break. I wished I said I held onto him with as much vigor but I was scared to. I have gained a lot more strength since I’ve been away and I was afraid I really would break him. So I held with as much strength as I knew he could take and burrowed myself into his large frame. I forgot just how big this man was. He could encompass me twice over.

Ryker was gentle as he held me in his arms, and buried his face into the crook of my neck. I could feel hot tears as they fell onto my skin making a sob of my own hitch in my throat. “Don’t cry my love.” I whispered, petting his hair with one hair and tightening my hold on him with the other. He tightened his told on me in response, his arms starting to feel more along the lines of a boa constrictor. I didn’t mind, if it made him feel better than so be it.

“Rose?” Micha’s voice reached me from behind Ryker. My breath lodged in my throat. My háno, how I’ve missed him. I slowly released Ryker and faced Micha. He was so thin. It broke my heart. While my men all basically ripped me from each other’s arms in attempt to get to me, I merely opened my arms for Micha and he rushed me. It was nothing like with my men. Micha was my brother, bonded to me in a completely different way. But I loved him all the same. And I missed him.

“I’m sorry Micha.” I whispered, hugging him tighter.

“You have no reason to apologize. It is I who, whom owes you an apology.” Micha shook his head. “I am sorry Rose. I never meant to blame you. It was never your fault.”

“I know you didn’t mean it.” I turned and kissed his cheek. “It’s okay.” I pulled away looking for Aaron. H wasn’t hard to find. He was hiding in the shadows by the cottages, keeping his distance. I turned back to the guys. “Can I have a moment with Aaron please?” I asked.

“Of course.” They all made gathered into a group and made their way to the tree line where they stood and waited for Aaron and I to have our conversation.

“Aaron?” I walked over to him. “Will you come talk to me?”

“You left me.” His tone was flat, but the hurt in his words couldn’t be missed.

“Aaron, I wanted to protect all of you. I know I probably could have gone about it in a better way but…”

“That’s bullshit and you know it Rose.” Aaron appeared from the shadows, his hulking form towering over me. “You ran. From us, from what happened. All of us hurt you, blamed you for something. So, you ran. And yeah, maybe in some way you wanted to protect us. But don’t stand there and lie to me by saying that’s the only reason why.”

“You’re right.” I nodded. “I was hurt. No, that’s not right.” I shook my head. “I was heartbroken. I hadn’t done anything to deserve what you and the others were doing to me. Nothing, and yet you all did it anyway. So yes, I left. But I still left with you all in mind. You all were attacked because of me. Because you were close to me. I figured if I wasn’t around, you wouldn’t be attacked anymore, and I was right, you weren’t. You were no longer targeted. Therefore, there was no longer anything for you to blame me for.”

Aaron surprised me by pulling me into a hug and almost breaking my spine. “I never blamed you Rose.” He muttered into my hair. “I blamed myself.” He sighed heavily, his grp tightening, my spine popped, but not in a bad way. “I blamed myself, for being weak, fir not being able to stand up to the man. For letting him almost kill me.”

“I’m sorry about that. I promised you I’d let you decide his fate, but my anger got the best of me.”

“No, he deserved what he got.” Aaron said, running his fingers through my hair. “Thank you Rose, for what you did. You have always been there when we needed you. You have never once failed us, you’ve always put us and others first. Thank you.”

“I’ll always protect those I love.” I pulled away and motioned the others over. Once I had all six guys standing around me, I smiled. For the first time since I left, I felt light. There was still a heaviness on my chest, still a weight on my heart. But my men were with me now, so it was all more bearable now.

“Hoe did you find this island?” Micha asked.

“I didn’t. I made it.” I told him, turning to face him. “And everything on it. I also created three of my own races, one hundred of each to start with.”

“Impossible.” Hades, whispered.

“What is?” I questioned, my eyes on his now.

“All of this, how did you do it?”

“I don’t know. I just did. Now come on, my cottage is down this way. I am towards the end of town but more accessible if I’m needed. I can make my place bigger so we can all stay together. It’s pretty small right now.”

“What do you mean make it bigger?” Aaron asked.

I just laughed. “You’ll see.”