Turmoil: Book Three of The Shadow Goddess series

Chapter Thirteen

We slowly made our way back across the island. It seemed everyone wanted to stop and meet my men. I hadn’t really spoken about them much. Or at all. It was too painful to. So once word got around that they were here, and who they actually were, they quickly became the talk of the “town”. Everyone knew about the kings of course. It was hard not to know about them. Once I officially became queen, my four men were announced as the official kings as well. I still didn’t think they were very comfortable with the titles.

Aaron was announced as my one and only guardian. No one knew of Micha. He was my háno, my elven companion. New to this realm and as much a part of my family as any of the others. He was bonded to me just as the others were. And in some way or another we were all bonded to each other. Not just me to them or them to me. But all of us to one another. It was like we were one energy circuit continuously feeding the other. Does that make sense?

“Which one are you?” A female’s purr like voice was like a wisp of smoke as it carried to us. I stopped walking and looked over to the voice. A younger girl from the zodiac clan was approaching Micha. Her pumpkin-colored hair was hung in waves to her mid back and her eyes were as green as spring grass. Freckles dotted across her cheeks and nose. She was cute, though she still had a baby face about her. I would guess she was one of the teenagers. I made sure to create adults as well as young adults. So I would guess she was one of the sixteen maybe seventeen year old girls.

Deciding this would be interesting I stood back biting my bottom lip to keep from smiling. Micha watched the girls with wide unsure eyes. He looked to me, and I just shook my head stepping back. His eyes narrowed before turning back to the girl. “Are you going to answer me?” She asked, her voice still low, trying to be seductive. She didn’t sound seductive in the least. It sounded like her throat was hoarse and she was whispering. But I wasn’t about to say anything and embarrass her. She would learn with time.

“I am your queen’s brother.” Micha finally answered, stepping away from her.

The girl looked over to me with an arched brow. I just grinned and nodded. Her beaming smile had me laughing as she turned back to Micha. Even the guys started laughing as they came to stand by my side. “So you’re available then?” She asked, running her finger across Micha’s chest.

“No.” Micha grabbed the girl’s wrist gently and pulling it away from him. “I am not. I am too old for you. You need to find someone your age, within your clan.”

“He’s right Amara.” I said chuckling. “You have a mate, remember?”

“But not until I turn eighteen.” She whined, slumping her shoulders.

“Which is how long? A year? Two? Maybe less?” I laughed.

“A year.” She huffed, crossing her arms over her chest.

“Be patient child.” I said, pulling her into a hug. “All good things come to those who wait.”

“Who are you? Buddha?” She deadpanned.

“No. I’m Rose.” I pulled away holding her at arm’s length. “Now, run along and go train with Atlas and the others. I’m sure they are searching for you. I don’t think Atlas will take kindly to you skipping his lessons.”

“He’s such a hard ass though.” Amara complained.

“And what about helping train Roman? You were created with all the knowledge needed to wield your powers. Help him gain control of his. Then later go train with Atlas. I’ll just tell him I needed you elsewhere. Give you a break.” I suggested.

“Really?” She squealed, making my ears ring.

“Yes really. Now go, shoo.”

Amara screeched, hugging my neck before taking off into the trees. Maybe creating teenagers wasn’t such a good idea. I don’t think I thought that through so well. Young people were so unpredictable. They were ruled by their emotions. Take me for example. I was nineteen, soon to be twenty and a lot of the time I was still ruled by my emotions. I tried not to be, I really did. It just didn’t work. I was learning though. To be more practical, more analytical. Letting your brain instead of your heart rule in war was best. Your heart could get in the way.

But with the people I loved most in the world standing beside me, it made me question what I’d learned here. These men were my world. My friends from the academy were what kept me going and they were all gone except for Lexi, and I prayed she was somewhere safe. I hadn’t heard or seen her in so long I wasn’t sure anymore. Caleb was probably still locked in the palace dungeons. I was considering going to get him, but was also wondering if that was a good idea or not. He may have betrayed me but I didn’t want him dead. I also didn’t want him anywhere near me.

“You were good with her you know.” Aaron’s voice said, catching me off guard.

“Huh? What?”

“The girl. Amara.” He said smiling at my startled reaction. “You done well with her.”

“Oh. She doesn’t seem to like fighting very much.” I shrugged. “But I have made it mandatory here on the island. They all must know how to defend themselves. Anything can happen at any time. We have to be prepared.”

“That’s true, but she is a child Rose.” Aaron told me gently.

“No she is not. She is seventeen, a teenager. I was fighting grown men at her age. Defeating grown men at her age. She is more than capable of doing the same.”

“You were a goddess.”

“Not a seventeen. I didn’t transform, shift, transcend, whatever until I was eighteen and at the academy. She can do this if she will allow herself to. If she will believe in herself enough to do so.” I told him firmly.

“Maybe you’re right, maybe she can do it if she applied herself. But shouldn’t you allow her the right to choose whether she wants to fight or not?”

“Do you think Zeus will allow her that generosity? Do you think he or any of his men will stop and ask her if she wants to fight them?” I countered. Why is he so armament about this? I understand where he is coming from, really, I do. And under any other circumstances I would agree. If this were any other time, I would allow that poor girl to do anything else she wanted to do. I wouldn’t make her train. I would strongly recommend it. Everyone should know how to defend themselves. But I wouldn’t force it upon her.

“No.” Aaron shook his head, sadness in his eyes.

“Aaron, you know I wouldn’t so this if it weren’t necessary, right?” I asked. He does know that don’t he?

“I know.” He sighed. “You’re not that kind of person, or leader. You’re just doing what’s best for your people. But that does not make it any better.”

I stayed quiet as we walked the rest of the way to my cottage. He was right about that. It didn’t make it any better. It may have been what was right, and what was for the best of the realm, but it didn’t make anything better. If anything, it made things harder. Each decision I had to make was harder than the next. Every shifter that has shown up to help I have had to send across the realm to recruit others to the cause. Each group sent was to form a militia and make camps all over the realm and train and prepare. There were camps everywhere. I had each of them marked on a map in my cottage. A map of the realm covered an entire room upstairs, a pin for each camp pinned to the map. Around a hundred of them. Scouts were sent here weekly from every camp to report their progress on training and recruiting. So far, each camp seemed to have around fifty recruits. If we added the few hundred, we had here that would bring us up to nearly six thousand recruits in total. Not bad all in all. Yet, I was still terrified of what we were up against.

“Rose?” Hades’ voice brought me back from the cloud jumbled web of thoughts that had filled my mind.

“Yes?” I turned to him, trying to smile.

“Are you alright?”

“Define alright?”

“What troubles you?” He asked, pulling me into his arms.

“Anything, everything.” I sighed. “I have managed to recruit an army six thousand strong, but what is that against a god? And what of two? Three? Ten? All those people would be killed in seconds. I’d be leading them to their deaths.”

“You have recruited strong people Rose. Not humans. Supernaturals are not so easily killed.” He tried to reassure me.

“Yes, I know. But they are gods Hades. Although not all powerful, their power still far out ranks my recruits.”

“That may be so. But we have you. And they know nothing of Cassius or that you have obtained the loyalty of some of the most powerful titans. We have a very powerful advantage, Rose.”

“He has a point my love.” Cassius said, stepping to my other side. I smiled, relishing in the feeling of having them around me again. I had forgotten how good this felt.

“I missed all of you.” I whispered, casting my eyes down. Though I never stopped walking. Not until we made it to my front door.

“Then never leave us again.” Cassius said sternly, pulling my face up to his by my chin. His midnight eyes were hard. Full of all the anguish and anger he had endured while I was away. I hated it, despised it. How could I have done this to him? I knew what he had been through with his family. I knew he had lost everyone dear to him and I left him anyway. And Hades. He was no different. He had been locked away in the underworld like he was nothing more than a worthless piece of trash.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t think. I wasn’t thinking.” I shook my head. “I thought I was keeping you safe.”

“Though love may have been the reasoning behind your actions, it was only killing us to be away from you. And it has clearly changed you.” Phoenix said, stepping forward.

“How would you know if it changed me?” I asked, my face souring.

“You have yet to open the bond.”

“Oh.” It was all I could say. They really didn’t want me to do that. I really didn’t want to do that. Not right now, not yet. Not while I was still so messed up about everything. My emotions were a rollercoaster of highs and lows. There were times when I was manic. Times when depression was so crushing it was all I could do to stay standing. Anxiety crippled me to the point to where it felt as if my heart would burst from beating so hard and so fast.

“You’re scared to.” Micha observed.

“I am. But we’ll discuss that later. For now, I’ll show you how I expand my island, build new homes, and do whatever it is around here that needs done.”

I smiled at them and winked before turning to my cottage. Even though I had done this countless times, I still had to visualize what I wanted and that took time. I pictured the cottage extending, the kitchen growing along with all the other rooms in the house. I added five more bedrooms and baths to the already three-bedroom cottage turning it into more of a mini mansion. I didn’t like this larger version as much as my cottage, but it would do. This way everyone would have their own room and we would have one room to spare. If any of them wanted their own cottage I would shrink this one back down a little.

“There.” I smiled, turning to see all six guys eyes bulging. “What?”

“That was incredible.” Ryker enthused. “Where did you learn it?”

“I’m self-taught.” I preened, under his praise.

“You’ve done well for yourself here Rose.” Hades commented. “Much better than I ever could have taught you.”

“Don’t say that.”

“It’s the truth. What you have taught yourself in months would have taken me years to teach. The rate in which you have been able to learn in exceptional. I am incredibly proud of you.”

I stared at Hades taciturnly. Has anyone ever said that to me? I’m proud of you. Words some people hear every day. Normal for many. But they hit me differently. They froze me, paralyzed me. I honestly believe Hades is the first to ever say those words to me, and he would never, could never know what that means to me. To know that someone, that he, was proud of me.

“Rose, are you alright?”

“You’re the first person to ever tell me they were proud of me.” I whispered with a soft smile. “I didn’t realize how much I needed to hear that.”

“So out of everything everyone has said. All the things they have said to help encourage you, all you needed to hear was someone say they were proud of you? How could you not already know this?” Phoenix asked.

“Because no one ever said anything.” I said turning to him. “Just because someone gives encouragement does not mean they are proud of that person Phoenix.” I shook my head turning back to Hades and taking his hand in mine. “Thank you, Hades, for saying that.” I turned and looked at the others and forced a tired smile. “I am going to go bed. We will talk more tomorrow, okay? Everyone has their own room. My room is upstairs, turn right and go to the end of the hall, the last door on the left. It’s the only dark blue door.” I turned and looked to my favorite midnight blue eyes.

I loved all of their eyes, really, I did. But it has always been Cassius’s eyes that has captivated me like no other. Those midnight beauties that I could drown in and never emerge from. “Good night.” I said, finally able to turn from his gaze and head in. I needed a shower and sleep. Tomorrow I would be better equipped to deal with all the chaos that comes with all of us being together again. Tomorrow we can all become accustom to being together again. Tomorrow, we can begin our lives together again.