My heart in flames

Chapter 6

My evening was very wonderful. I found my son in a very jovial mood and I had to engage with him a lot and playfully. I could brush his hair, touch his ears and sometimes carry him on my lap. Even though my son was about five years old but I was really fond of him. At an early age the child was showing assigns of great promise. He was inquisitive charismatic and somehow friendly.

“Peter what did you eaten for lunch while I was away,”

“Mum, nothing Marry says I will not eat sweets before you arrived." I grinned as I knew that the kid was just being cunning.

 “Did Marry give you rice and meat?" 

"Yes, she gave me but I did not want all that. She denies me sweets.” I wanted to appease him.

 “Marry, how do you dare deny my only child sweets. Do you know that I can cane you ?"

 “I am very sorry mammy I won’t repeat it again.”

 “You better not repeat it. Peter will not be pleased.”

 “Thank you, mummy. Peter is my great friend.” I laughed. 

Then Peter opened his mouth. “Mum she is not my friend.”

I wanted to diffuse the tension. “Please Peter Marry really loves and I ways reminds her to gives you sweet.” 

Peter suddenly relaxed and we played together in the sitting room as Marry hit and knock dishes in the kitchen. Sometimes the sounds of the dishes could interrupt our excitement moment. But oftentimes Mary would not bother our peace so long as she was mindful of what she was doing. Mary at times could become noisy especially when she was cooking a delicious meal to her taste. At that moment when she could cook a good meal preferable to her taste, she would behave as if to alert the whole house that something serious was going on at the kitchen. I never commented even if the disruption was spoiling my great enjoyment. 

Soon food was ready and we munched the food between a conversation and for the first times my hectic moods decline at once. 

This was the moment I am learning that happiness can sometime sprang within my door step. After the meal I prepared for Peter his sleeping place and I sang for him lullaby for some time until he was in the slumber land. I remained seated beside his bed for some time and I wished the child was still with me so that we could continue chatting and laughing even if it was nothing serious to say. 

Suddenly I curved my neck down and I kissed the boy on his cheek and then slowly I murmured, "I love you so much.” Then I walked into to my bedroom while Mary was still fighting with the dishes and spoons.

 Out of the exhaustion, I removed my clothes and quickly slipped into my night dress to nurse a snooze. I laid on my bed and covered my legs with a sheet to sleep but then a brooding thought stole my mind. My mind remained active as I rolled over and over in my bed restlessly. There was something glowing in my mind that was about to explode. 

The fleeting feelings of unknown was at the center of my thoughts. At this moment I am a prisoner in a free world. Every corners of my mind seemed to speak by themselves and my heart seemed to be in ablaze. I stared blankly at the bright light in house in daze. It was like my eyes were roving around for something which I was not there. Something beyond its reach it persisted and jammed my heart with queer thoughts. In this night, I felt like embracing somebody. My heart felt lonely and devoid while my whole body seemed into be in flames. 

I reached for my pillow and embraced it tenderly just to confuse my mind that I was not alone. In a flash, I felt that my mind's unsettledness had to do with my recent appoint in the board. Before that I was just a very innocent, thought free and dedicated to my domestic chores and my husband.

 However, it was now apparent that my heart was going under rapid transformation the moment I interacted with the members of the board especially the obsessed secretary, Sammy.  

He had been persistence and unwavering in his approach towards me. It was no secret that the man craved for me. His advances towards me had started to have a great impact in my life. Every moment my mind struck his behaviors was when I remained helpless though out the day. His numerous phone calls and his body gestures even if we were in the meeting sank a huge fist in my soul. 

What had evaded my imagination was why the man behaved like that yet he was married. His behavior had left no doubt that he wanted to possess me but how and I am deeply married and I loved my husband. But Sammy was not alone in this web of madness. Most of the places i visited men would always behave as if their hearts had been pierced by a pin. In most of the times I would feel intimidated and harassed by young men and elderly men a like who would not deflect their resolute eyes from penetrating my body. Many times some would whisper in my ear that.

 “You are very beautiful and wonderful.” 

In one occasion an elderly man one day came to me when I was hospitalized and mysteriously cleared my hospital bills. I was mystified. I could not believe such a benevolence gesture from a stranger. Soon after I was well and out of hospital was when I realized that the man was not what I honestly believed he was after all. Little did it occur to me that this was a bait. The man had been craving how to reach me but had failed. So when I got sick and hospitalized he learned of the news from one of my friends and rushed to the scene to make his presence felt. 

He later tried to reach me through a phone call, I declined to accept his dates. From that moment I had known how desperation could make men to go any length to possess a woman. 

Even here at the board, the same thing was happening. Any time I stepped into the hall everything changes. Every man wanted to hear my voice and just to say hey. When I spoke heads rolled and everything stood at a standstill for my attention. But despite all these, I felt my weak side of my heart. But I must try to be strong.

 I had heard stories of office affairs between married men and woman before, but I had never given it much thought. Rumors always went round that during the week days the guest house often packed to capacity with vehicles at lunch times. But when one entered the side of restaurant or bar no single person would be seen on sight. 

The vehicles would be empty up to two o'clock when the vehicle would start moving out in haste. It was whispered that those affected in these dirty deals were married couples which some of them had declared their vows in the church. All these thoughts pulled my soul for a considerable time until I murmured, “not me, I cannot lower my dignity and betray my vow.” 

But before my throat could communicate the last word, the strange ghost of heat burned my heart, punched my brain and this time it was more violet.

 At long last my mind was at peace. Everything went quiet and I did not know for how long my soul had been stolen by a catnap and soon I was swimming in the cloudland. When I was in deep sleep, the darkness abruptly called her sister the dawn and soon the aura was flooded with cockcrows again. I felt bad inside me that the noises of the birds, the singing of roosters and morning breeze boomed my ears. But my eyes were still heavy and the sleep in them fought a good battle and wrested my soul from the noises once again.

 It was morning and the sun rose with radiant rays as it percolated through open bed window. I leaped out of the bed and put on my dress to walk out my bedroom. The moment I arrived at the sitting room I met happy faces with collective smiles at me. My son and  Mary were on the table and the tea was already on the table. I smiled to return their gaze and the marvelous aura settled inside the room. 

“Mum why have you over slept. It is almost 9. am.” A sense of Guilty settled in my nerves immediately. 

“I woke up before you my dear, I was just ready in my bedroom.” I lied and I wished the child would not read my mind. If they could have known, why I delayed to wake up they would not have been happy with me. But the truth was wrapped safely in my heart and only my grave would one day know the truth.

 “But mum your bedroom light was not on. How possible you could read and yet the lights were off.” I felt cornered but must play my game right.

“My sweetheart, I think you did not look well. But tomorrow just gaze well and you will see me reading.” He nodded his head and settled down for tea.

 When I was at the peak of my breakfast my phone rang but I tried to ignore it but my son jumped without my permission to grab it. 

“Mum here is your phone.” At once I knew who the caller was and I coughed silently in disgust.

“Hello” 

“Morning how is your day. “Fine,” just reminding you of our arrangement to meet at Pop Inn Hotel at 2.pm. Will that be ok for you,” I remained silent as words, had evaporated from my mouth. 

“Are you there?” At last I replied halfheartedly. 

“Fine.” 

And I cut the phone call. Immediately the phone went down than a strange feeling of uselessness spread in my face. I frown when I realized that downfall I had done to myself.