Breaking The Cycle

Chapter 10

Sarah's POV

*Present Day*

    A few weeks have passed since the kids and I went to the doctor and had Cameron's labs done. The following week, Dr. Barns called and said everything came back normal and there was nothing to worry about. After that call, I was beyond relieved and finally able to relax a little. That weekend was spent out at the carnival like Austin and I had planned and the kids had a blast. Austin took Lizzi on every ride she was tall enough for and played every game there was with Cameron. He spent a fortune buying them anything they asked for, completely spoiling them and then spoiling me with dinner after we dropped the kids off at home with my mom. The weeks that followed, when not working at the hardware store which I found out his parents own and he is about to take over, Austin spent a lot of time at the house with the kids and I. He helped me put in job applications all over town and even helped me find a good divorce lawyer who specializes in cases like mine. It has been an amazing last few weeks and I have Austin to thank for that.

    I finally got a call yesterday for an interview at the local vets office for a receptionist position and I'm supposed to be there in a couple hours to meet with the head vet. To say I am nervous is an understatement; I am a total basket case, but John has been running through some interview question with me to help me prep for today. I am anxiously pacing the floor in my room when I hear a soft knock on the door, "Go away! I need a few minutes peace before I lose my mind!" I holler through the closed door at whoever is standing on the other side.

    "Well too bad angel, because I drove all the way over here just to see your beautiful face." Austin smirks at me as he peaks though the slightly cracked open door.

    "Ugh! Just get in here and shut the door!" I say slumping onto the bed. He walks in closing the door behind him and makes his way over to me on the bed sitting beside me.

    "What's going on angel? Your mom and Abby called me and said you've been locked in here all morning and your mom is starting to worry that you're gonna walk a hole in the floor with all the pacing back and forth she's been hearing." he chuckles, taking my hand in his and rubbing soothing circles on the back of it with his thumb. "Talk to me, Sarah. What's going on in that pretty head of yours?"

    "I don't know. I mean, I do know, but I don't. You know?" I mumble out, not making much sense.

    "No, I actually don't know, but if you tell me, then maybe I can help."

    "My interview is in less than 2 hours and I have no idea what to wear or how to fix my hair. Plus, I'm a nervous wreck because I haven't been to an interview in over 8 years and even then, the job was practically handed to me with no effort on my end. I haven't worked in 6 years and I've NEVER worked in an office before, so I have no clue what to expect. What if I screw up this interview? They are the only place to have called me back. Even worse, what if I get the job and then I screw up huge and get fired? I can't handle all this pressure! I just want to do better and be better for Lizzi and Cameron, but I can't even hold myself together for a simple job interview! I'm a mess and a failu.." I rush it all out before Austin interrupts me.

    "Do not finish that sentence Sarah." he says sternly, taking his free hand he turns me to him and looks deep into my eyes. "You are not a failure. You are the furthest thing in the world from a failure and it is normal to have all these feelings. You are going to do great at your interview and they are going to give you the job without even thinking twice about it and you are not going to screw it up. I have faith in you angel and I know you can do anything you set your mind to, you just need to believe in yourself."

    "But what if.."

    "No buts Sarah. You will do great. Now let me see what your options for clothing and hair are and I will see if I can help you out." He smiles at me letting go of my hand and leaning back on the bed, propping himself up on his elbows. "Give me your best fashion show baby." my heart jumps at the last thing he says. Baby? The furthest our relationship has gone is slightly heated make out sessions and holding hands. He respects that I am still technically a married woman and it's been years since I have been with a man without being forced into it. I can't believe he really called me baby though. Angel I am used to, but baby is a whole other level with him and I've never felt happier about something like this. Pulling myself out of my thoughts, I turn and go to the closet pulling 4 dresses out and laying them across the bed. I debate if I should change in front of him or step to the bathroom, but suddenly feeling very confident in myself, I decide to just change in front of him. Turning my back to him, I slowly slip out of the cotton shorts I'm wearing, revealing a cheeky pair of purple lace panties. I hear a small grunt from behind me and then movement on the bed. Without turning, I stretch up slipping my tank top over my head. I turn to the bed to grab one of the dresses and I can feel Austin's eyes scanning over my body.

    "I uhh..I really like the matching purple lace on you.." he says quietly, his breathing labored as he continues to look me over head to toe.

    "Oh this ole' thing? It's all I have that really matches. Abby made me buy it the other day when we went shopping. Do you really like it?" I smile at him, my cheeks turning a deep crimson red.

    "Do I like it?" he asks, a smirk on his face. "Good question." he sits up straight and slides to the end of the bed where I am standing and places his hands on my hips. He then leans in slowly brushing his lips across my collar bone causing my breath to catch and my heart to skip a beat. "I think it's safe to say, I love it, but I'd love it a lot more off.." he whispers as he continues to make his way up my neck with butterfly kisses and then across my jaw before coming to my lips. He pulls one hand from my hips and gently grabs my face and pulls it to him and begins to kiss me passionately. I've never be kissed like this before and I begin to feel something stir in me as the kiss deepens. My hands slowly find their way up his arms and across his back before I tangle my fingers into the short hair on the back of his head. My lips part and his tongue enters as we battle for dominance of the kiss. Pulling apart only to catch our breath, he begins his trail of butterfly kisses again, this time making his way down to my heaving breasts. As his lips graze the exposed skin of my breasts, I feel my panties slowly becoming wet. He continues kissing me as he lays back on the bed, pulling me on top of him. I straddle his hips and slowly start to grind my wet v****a against the growing bulge in his shorts. He lets out a deep growl and grabs back a hold of my hips and flips us over, putting himself on top of me. I immediately wrap my legs around him, pulling his body back to mine, craving his touch.

    "A little excited now, are we?" he smirks at me as he continues to kiss over my breasts and down my stomach, stopping at the waist band of my panties and then trailing back up.

    "Shut up and f**k me. Please Austin..I need you." I beg softly, wrapping my legs tighter around him and grinding my v****a against him still. He slowly kisses his way back up to my lips where he leaves a soft peck and then pulls himself away from me, untangling himself from my grasp. "Seriously?! If you don't want me, then just say it now so I can move on." I pout, throwing myself back on the bed in exasperation.

    'Whoa now beautiful. Trust me when I say, I want you more than anything, but not like this. You are stressed and it won't be satisfying. I want our first time together to be perfect and not rushed. I can promise you this though, now that I've seen you like this, it's gonna be really hard to keep my hands to myself." He smirks, laying next to me running his fingers over my exposed skin, stopping at a scar on my stomach. "Is this where you had that surgery the night your dad died?"

    "Yea it is. I never really found out all the details of that night and the following days I was unconscious in the hospital, but everything ended up okay in the end, so I guess it doesn't really matter. How did you know about it?"

    "The day after everything happened, my mom called me and told me. She had just talked to your mom and they both thought I should know. My dad came and picked me up that day and brought me to the hospital to see you, but they had you so drugged, I wasn't sure you would even remember seeing me. I see now that you didn't." he chuckles, but there is a sadness to his voice. "I had the biggest crush on you since we were little, but was too scared to tell you and then I got into trouble and my parents sent me to that private school and I just knew you would forget about me. My parents knew how I felt about you and would keep me up to date on what little they knew about you. It was the only thing that got me through all the lonely days. i guess my parents won with that one, because sending me away really did teach me a lesson. When it came time for graduation, I was so excited to finally get back home so I could see you, but when my parents showed up to bring me home, they told me you had left town right after your graduation. It was really depressing, but I coped with it all knowing in my heart that you were off doing great things in the world and living your best life. I asked John and Abby about you every time I saw them, but they never knew anything and I just assumed you were a hot shot in the big city and didn't have time for small town folks anymore. If I had ever know the truth of where you were, I would have killed that asshole the first chance I got.." he trailed off, deep in thought as his fingers continued to trace patterns on my skin.

    "I've always had a crush on you too, Austin, I just thought you were too important to be with be someone with so much baggage. I know we were just kids, but you were always going to do great things and I feared I would just hold you back. Looking back now, I wish I had told you how I felt sooner, maybe then I would have saved myself some heart break. But I know I went through everything I did for a reason and it's what led me back here to you and I couldn't be happier." I say to him as I lean over and kiss his cheek, pulling him from his thoughts.

    "Alright, enough mushy talk, we need to get you dressed before you're late angel."

    "Oh crap, I totally forgot!" I say as I jump up from the bed and grab the first dress on the pile and throw it on, I simple black fitted dress that hits just right above my knees. I walk over to the closet with the other dresses and hang them back up and reach down grabbing a pair of red heels and slip them on before walking out to the bathroom. I quickly run the brush through my knotted hair and apply mascara and a red lipstick. Stepping back out, I see Austin now sitting in the kitchen waiting for me.

    "Beautiful as ever my sweet angel." he smiles at me and stands from the table coming over and kissing my cheek. "Now go give those babies of yours a good luck kiss and lets get going." we walk off to the living room where Lizzi and Cameron are watching a movie. I give them both a quick kiss on the forehead before hollering down the hallway to my mom to let her know we were leaving. Austin, still holding my hand, leads me out the front door and across the yard to his truck and helps me in, like he always does. He then goes around to his side and climbs in, starting the truck and pulling out. We drive in silence to my interview, the only sound is the radio playing quietly. An old George Strait song, A Real Good Place To Start, is playing and I turn the radio up and begin to sing along.

    "I need a new beginning, and girl you fit right in

    Sometimes a new beginning is found in an old friend

    If I'm ever going to mend this broken heart

    You look like a real good place to start"

    I continue to sing along going into my own little world, but still noticing Austin watching me from the corner of his eye while he is driving, a smile playing on his lips. As the songs finishes and a new one begins, he reaches over, taking my hand in his and lightly squeezing it.

    "Your voice is almost as beautiful as you are. I had no idea you could sing. Must be one of your many hidden talents." he smirks and focuses his eyes on the road.

    "I've been singing for years and if you remember anything about me from when we were kids, you would know that." I said sticking my tongue out at him teasingly. 

    "You better watch it missy, I may bite that tongue if you stick it out again and that's a promise."

    "And I may just like it if you do." I say winking at him and then sticking my tongue out at him again.

    "Damn woman! You are such a tease! If you weren't gonna be late for your interview, I'd pull this truck over right now and keep my promise to you." he says growling quietly to himself.

    "You can definitely keep that promise to me as soon as I get this interview over with, handsome."

    "Hmm..I can't wait!" he smiles devilishly. He turns into a large parking lot with a strip of businesses lined across the one side. He pulls into a parking spot in front of one of the businesses and puts the truck in park. "We're here angel. Now, go crush this interview so you can hurry back out here to me."

    "Coming back out to you may possibly be the only good thing that happens to me today." I mumble as my nerves begin to take back over. 

    "You've got this baby. I know you do."     

    "I'm glad one of us has faith in me, because I'm pretty sure I'm gonna bomb this and not get the job." I open the door and slide down out of my seat and shut the truck door behind me. As I step to the front of the truck, I adjust my dress and hair and go to step to the door of the vets office. Before I can pull it open, Austin is suddenly beside me.

    "Just a quick kiss for good luck." he says as he leans in and kisses my lips softly. Pulling away he looks into my eyes, "You are going to do great baby. I love you." he says the last part so quietly, I'm not sure I heard him correctly. He kisses my lips one more time before going and getting back in the truck. My heart is racing and butterflies are filling my stomach and not because of the interview, but because of what I'm pretty sure of what Austin just said to me. Did he really say he loves me? Is it possibly that he loves me? I'm a broken mess, who could ever really even want me? Maybe I heard him wrong and I'm freaking out about nothing. Wait.. What if he did say it, then how do I reply? Do I love him? I mean, I know I admitted to myself a while back that I thought I was falling for him, but I'm still a married woman technically. Is it possible though, that I do love him? Fear now takes over my mind as I think about all the unknown things that come with love. Things I'm not sure I can ever handle.

    Pulling myself together as best as I can, I step into the vet's office and check in with the young lady at the front desk. She tells me to have a seat and she will let Dr. Evans, the head vet, know that I am here. A few minutes later an older man comes out from the back of the office and calls me to follow him. He introduces himself at Dr. Evans as we make our way into a little office tucked in the far back corner of the building. Sitting down behind his desk, he gestures for me to sit in the seat across from him. After sitting, he gets right to it, asking me questions about myself and my previous work history. Once the formalities of the interview itself is over, we casual chat about our families and hobbies, just getting to know each other. We sit and talk for about 30 minutes, before he gets a call letting him know he has a patient here. He stands and leads me back out to the front of the office and shakes my hand. To my surprise though, before walking away, he offers me the job and asks if I can start first thing Monday morning at 8. Trying to remain professional, I excitedly accept the offer and thank him before heading out of the office to Austin's truck. I quickly climb in and immediately start doing a little happy dance in the front seat after shutting the truck door.

    "I'll take it, you got the job?" Austin asks smirking at me.

    "Well duh! Why else would I be this damn excited?!" I reply softly poking him in his side.

    "I'm proud of you baby. I knew you could it. Now, lets go pick up Lizzi and Cameron and celebrate!"

    "Lets go! And thank you for having faith in me. I couldn't have done this without you."

    "I will always have faith in Sarah. You are stronger and smarter and braver than you give yourself credit for and you are capable of doing anything you put you mind to. And just like I said early, I love you Sarah. I'll always be here by your side and I'm not telling you that so you'll feel like you need to say it back. I know you are in a hard place in life right now and still trying to get everything settled from your past and I understand that. I just need you to know, whether you feel the same or not, that I do truly love you Sarah and I always will."

    "Austin.. I.. I don't know what to say. Well, if I'm being honest, I do know, I'm just scared to admit it."

    "Take your time angel. Your heart has been through enough and needs time to heal and I respect that. Just know, the only heart break my heart has ever felt was when I thought I lost you after graduation. The day you walked into the hardware store with Abby, every single ounce of pain I had ever felt in your absence was erased and it was like my heart was finally beating for the first time in years and it hasn't stopped since then. I love you Sarah. Simple as that."

    "Thank you Austin. For understanding, for being patient, for everything you have done for me, and especially for loving me. I don't know how I got so lucky to have you back in my life after everything I've been through, but I thank God everyday for you. You are my saving grace."

    'No need to thank you, just promise me you'll never leave me again and that one day I can get you to love me as much as I love you."

    "I promise to never leave you. I finally found peace and happiness and it is all because of you. But I can't promise to love you as much as you love me because I fear I already love you far more than that."

    "Did Mrs. Sarah Smith just admit that she loves me?" he says smiling at me, his smile alone somehow mending every broken piece of my heart instantly.

    "Yes she did Mr. Austin Anderson." I say leaning over the middle and kissing his cheek. "I love you Austin."

    "And I love you Sarah. With all my heart." with that, we pull from the parking lot and head back to the house to get the kids, the whole time feeling like I am floating on cloud nine. Maybe, just maybe, there is a happily ever after for me and my babies after all.