Breaking The Cycle

Chapter 4

Sarah's POV

*Present Day*

    It has been a few weeks since Mark beat me in the kitchen and it seems things have steadily gotten worse. I fear if I go to a hospital, they will take Cameron and Lizzi from me, so I just suck up the pain and stay home. At this point, I'm pretty sure I have a few broken ribs and my right wrist is broken as well. Just about my entire body is covered in bruises and moving out of bed is becoming more and more painful, but I keep pushing through to make sure all Mark's needs are met and that my babies are safe from his wrath. I'm trying to plan an escape for the 3 of us, but I think he senses it and has been keeping a close eye on me. Later today, I need to go grocery shopping and he doesn't normally come with me, so I am praying that he stays home. If I can get to the store with just me and the kids, then I don't plan on every coming back here. I'm not sure yet where we will go since I've lost connection with all of my family and friends back home after marrying Mark. I'm hoping maybe my mom will take us in, that is if we can get to her.

    Mark is being a bit more affectionate today than what I am used to, which is very odd, but I am just going along with the flow to keep him happy and not raise any red flags. I'll need to leave for the store soon before it gets too late, but I'm getting very nervous as the time gets closer. Mark is capable of killing me if he wants and I'm scared he will catch me and that will be it. Trying to push my fears to the back of my head, I begin packing a few things in the diaper bag, nothing too suspicious, just things I know the kids will need. Hidden at the bottom of the bag, I few a few hundred dollars that I have been saving for the last few months and the job applications I have filled out. I grab up the bag, swinging it over my shoulder and head to the living room where Mark is laid across the couch watching tv.

    "Hey honey, the kids and I are gonna go do the grocery shopping. Is there anything you would like for me to pick up for you?" I ask Mark, trying to keep my voice from trembling.

    Sitting up on the couch, Mark looks me over top to bottom before saying, "I think I'll tag along this time. Wouldn't want you out there by yourself."

    "Oh you don't have to do that.." I quickly reply. A little too quickly though I think because I can now see suspicion creeping into his eyes. Thinking of an excuse as fast as I can I say, "I just know how tired you are after a long week and your Sunday's off are meant for resting and the kids are always noisy in the store and it would just be a lot to ask of you. I'm used to it at this point, so it's a breeze for me. I want you to be able to relax and enjoy a quiet and empty house for a little bit.." running it all together in a single breath. "I will have a sweet surprise for you when I finish shopping, just rest honey." I add, winking at him and smiling innocently.

    I thank God continuously in my head after Mark agrees to stay home. Giving him a soft kiss on the lips, I take Cameron and Lizzi's hands, diaper bag over my shoulder, and head out the front door. I buckle them into their car seats and go around to my side, starting the car up and pulling from our driveway. As we start to pull away, I watch the little house where I have spent the last 6 years of my life slowly get smaller in the side mirror of my car. I came home from a happy honeymoon to that house, brought home 2 babies there, watched so many of their firsts right there in that little 2 bedroom house that I thought I would call home for the rest of my life. So many good memories in those four walls, but so much pain and heart break as well. Lizzi and Cameron deserve a better life, a mom that is happy and at peace. They do not deserve their innocence to be ripped away by the man they should be looking up to as an example and guide in their life.

    A few miles outside of town, I look to the backseat and see my babies eyes getting heavy as they drift off to sleep. We have a long drive ahead of us to get us back to what I used to call home as a child. I've been checking my mirrors every few seconds it feels like, to see if anyone is following us. The thought is irrational since this is the only vehicle Mark and I own and thankfully it is in my name. When we got married, I had a really great job and was doing great for myself and he had just been laid off, but I wasn't worried because I could easily take care of us. A few months after the wedding, Mark got a new job, so we went out and bought a car and since I was the only one with a steady income at that moment, we put it in my name. A couple more months passed and his job was going great and we wanted to start trying for a baby, so he wanted me to quit my job. The day I quit working was the first day he hit me. From that day on, I no longer had access to the car without permission, he took my cell phone, and I lost all freedom. Thankfully he was never had the thought to change the car to his name when it was paid off. It was left in my name and now it is all I have and I'm praying it gets us to my mom.

    We've been driving for about 5 hours now and Lizzi and Cameron are antsy and grumpy in the backseat. I'm trying to entertain them as best as I can when I see the city limit sign I've been waiting for.

    "Alright you 2, I know you are ready to get out and I am too, but if y'all can hold tight for just a few more minutes, mommy has a very special surprise for y'all." I say as I turn down an old dirt road.

    "What is it mommy? Tell me! Tell me!" both Cameron and Lizzi shout together.

    I laugh to myself and roll the windows down on the car letting in the smell of fresh cut hay as dirt flies up behind the car. A moment or two passes and we come up to a line of trees with a old house tucked back behind them. I carefully pull into the driveway watching out for the holes in the loose gravel where the rain has washed away the drive. I see my mom's old station wagon parked up near the porch and sigh in relief knowing someone is at least home. I'm not sure how that car is still running, it's older than me, but my mom has always taken such good care of things. I take in the view in front of me as my nerves begin to take over. So many memories in this house, mostly bad, but after my dad left, I had some good times here too. I don't have time to think about that right now though; I had too much else going on in my head. What if she shuts the door in my face? What if she doesn't want to know her grandchildren? Will she forgive me for disappearing for 6 years? Will she listen and let me explain what happened? 

    I sit in the car for a few more minutes trying to calm my breathing, before climbing out and going around to get the kids out. One at a time, I pull them from the backseat, grabbing the diaper bag and each of their hands, making our way to the front door. I lift my hand to knock, but before I can the door creaks open and there stands my mom. She hasn't changed one bit since I last saw her and when her eyes meet mine, a smiles spreads across her face and she begins to cry.

    "Sarah..Is that really you baby girl?" she cries out as she wings the door open all the way embracing me in a bone crushing hug.

    "Hey mom.." I timidly reply. She lets me go, pulling back from me and looking me over head to toe and as her eyes scan down my body. I watch her expression change from joy at having me here, to sadness and pain as she looks over my various bruises, and finally a look of shock takes over her face as she takes Cameron and Lizzi.

    "Are..are these my..?" she doesn't even finish her question as she falls to her knees wrapping my startled children in her arms.

    "Mom, this is Cameron and Lizzi, your grandchildren." I say to her as I kneel down to the same level as them. "And this is your grandma guys. This is the surprise mommy had for you."

    "Mommy, is this the grandma in all the night night stories you tell us?" Cameron asks as he looks her over.

    "Yes honey it sure it. This is my mommy." I reply as I reach over grabbing my moms hand and giving it a little squeeze.

    "Well what are we doing sitting out here in this heat?! Let's get my babies in the house and fed and ready for bed. I'm sure y'all are exhausted!" my mom says as she ushers us all through the front door into the living room and she makes her way to the kitchen. "Make yourselves comfy and I'm gonna go get something cooking for y'all and then we have a lot to catch up." she finishes cutting her eyes at me.

    "You don't have to do that, mom" I say. "I stopped and grab the kids something to eat right before we made it into town."

    "Well fine then, but I'm gonna make them a bowl of ice cream and give them some cookies I just pulled out the oven." she smiles as she goes to the freezer, pulling out the ice cream.

    I just roll my eyes, not wanting to argue with her that it is too late for sweets. The kids have been amazing since we got on the road and they deserve something a little special, so tonight I will allow it. Once she has 2 little bowls filled to the top with loaded chocolate ice cream and a plate of cookies sat between them, I bring Lizzi and Cameron to the table, reminding them of their manners before they dig in. With them settled at the table, my mom and I go back into the living room sitting on the couch, she wraps her arms around me again. She pulls away after a few seconds and just sits back smiling at me.

    "You know Sarah, I didn't think I would ever see you again. I've been praying every day and night that God will bring you back home and here you are. I just can't believe it. I will be honest with you, after what your brother told me, I feared the next time I saw you would be in a grave." she says.

    "What did John tell you mom? I haven't spoke to him since my wedding."

    "Well, you know he works for the law firm I've been at since y'all were kids and he had a case up north a few years back. He was in this small town dealing with a few loose ends and he said thought he saw you in a gas station, but he wasn't sure at first. He was gonna come up to you and see, but then he saw Mark and he knew it was you for sure, but that something was off. He said that Mark had a very possessive hold on you and when you reached up to get something off a shelf he saw bruises covering your stomach. He knew right then that Mark was no good, but he didn't know how to handle it. He waited till you and Mark had gone separate ways in the store and went to walk to you when he bumped into Mark who recognized him right way. He threatened to kill him and the rest of us if John tried anything." She let out a shaky breath before continuing. "Later that week when John came home, he told me what happened and was trying to come up with a plan to rescue you, but knew he had to be smart about it. He figured he would wait a week or 2 before going back to try and find you, but as soon as he was back in town, he noticed someone  kept following him everywhere he went. He started getting death threats at his apartment and his dog was even stolen and brought back mutilated. He took it as a sign and I told him to just let up and you would come home when you were ready. I went behind his back and hired a detective to find you and keep an eye on you, but 4 detectives later, no one could find you anywhere. We've spent every day of the last few years in fear for you."

    I just sit here staring at her; I don't know how to reply. All this time, they were looking for me and Mark was threatening their lives. I begin filling with anger as I think of what Mark would have done to John or my mom or Abby. It's one thing one I was the only person he was hurting, but to know this whole time my families lives were at risk. Thankfully he never hurt Lizzi and Cameron and they are safe now and I will make sure my kids and the rest of my family stay safe.

    "I'm so sorry mom!" I finally say as tears fill my eyes. "If I had any idea that he was threatening y'all, I would have stopped him. I wouldn't have let him hurt y'all then and I won't let him hurt y'all now. I promise mom!" Tears now spilling from my eyes as I reach over and wrap my mom in a tight hug.

    "It's okay sweetie. Your home and safe now and that's all that matter. John is gonna be so happy to see you! He's been living here since the threats started to take care of me. He should actually be home any minute now and he is gonna be so dang excited!" my mom says with a small chuckle as she wipes away the tears on my cheeks.

    Just as Lizzi and Cameron are putting their bowls i the sink and coming to join us in the living room, the front door opens slowly. John enters the room scanning his surroundings, clearly on edge, until his eyes land on me. I smile up at him and he looks like he is about to pass out. I stand, walking over to him and wrap my arms around him. He stands completely still for a moment before wrapping his arms around me, picking me up off the floor and swinging me around. Setting me back on my feet, he lets go stepping back for only a second before grabbing me by the shoulders and shaking me.

    "What the hell is wrong with you girl? Do you know how long I've looking for you? How scared for you I have been? I should whoop your ass for leaving us and running off with that bastard!" he speaks sternly to me before he sees movement from the corner of his eye. He whips his head to the side, suddenly letting me go. I let out a small chuckle before replying.

    "Hello to you too John," I laugh. "It's good to see you. I've really missed y'all and these little ones over here, I'm sure would love to know their uncle John." I say smiling at John as I make my way over to my kids. "Cameron, LIzzi, this is your Uncle John I told you about."

    "You're the funny one in all of my mommy's bedtime stories. I like when she tells us stories with you in them. Lizzi says smiling up at John.

    "HOLY s**t I'M AN UNCLE!" John says more excited for that than he was for seeing me. "Come here you 2 and let me teach you how to drive your mom crazy. I'm a pro at it." he laughs pulling them into his lap.

     I look around wishing my sister was here, but smile at my mom and brother loving my children just as much as I do and I'm so thankful for them and being taken back in with open arms. This is my new start and I'm gonna make the best of it. I'm done being the scared little girl that is controlled by everyone else; I'm in control now.