Breaking The Cycle

Chapter 7

Sarah's POV

*Present Day*

    I sit back on the floor leaning against the wall and run my fingers over my stomach where the scar from my surgery 12 years ago is. So much changed that night, but it was like there was finally a light at the end of this dark tunnel I'd been running down. Looking around the room now, I can see the patches on the wall where my mom fixed the holes my dad would punch in and the wood around the hinges of the new door is still slightly splintered. A stray tear rolls down my cheek as I take in the damage that my mom tried to cover up; not just the damage to this room, but the damage to myself. After the my dad's funeral, we all started to slowly heal from all the damage, well at least my mom and siblings did. The hurt he inflicted on me still hurts to this day; his words still play in my head on a regular basis. I remember promising myself that I would never be like my mom and be with a man like my dad and put my future children through what I had to go through. I broke that promise though. I married a man who beat me daily, who broke me down at every chance he could, who hated the beautiful children we brought into the world together. I became my mom and I didn't even realize till now. Now full on sobbing on the floor, clutching my daughters favorite baby doll, I try to compose myself. I got out of my bad situation and I will do better for me, Lizzi, and Cameron. I know I will.

    Taking a deep breath, I wipe my face trying to erase any evidence of my break down and pull myself back up on my feet. I finish tiding up the room and head out to the kitchen where I can hear my mom and Abby arguing about what color to paint the room.

    "Mother, will you hear me out." Abby stomps her feet like a child. "I read online the other day, that red is the perfect color for a kitchen because red is the color of hunger, so obviously red is what we need to go with."

    "Abigail, you do know that John has an unending pit for a stomach, right?" my mom replies to Abby. "The last thing I need is that boy being any hungrier than he already is, so we are going with a pastel yellow for the kitchen."

    "Ugh! No one wants a yellow kitchen!" Abby says in exasperation looking over at me walking into the room. "Sarah, tell mom red is better than yellow for the kitchen. She'll listen to you."

    "I was thinking more of cream color with blue undertones. Something that accents the natural lighting of the room." I say looking at a very flustered Abby.

    "You know honey, that sounds kind of nice. I was going to send Abby to the hardware store up the street to get a few samples mixed so we could make a final decision, but I'm not sure I trust her to go alone. Why don't both of you go and bring a red, pastel yellow, and whatever cream color you were thinking of and we'll make a choice from those." my mom says, smiling at me and then turning and winking at Abby.

    As if they just had an entire discussion in that one wink, Abby's mood immediately brightens. "You know what mom, that sounds like a great idea! Come on Sarah, let's go!" Abby says as she bounces out of the room to grab her shoes.

    "I'm not sure what you two are up to, but I will figure it out." I say to my mom , laughing softly as I head over to the front door, slipping my shoes on and heading out. Abby soon joins me and we climb into my car and head out the driveway down the little dirt road to get to town.

    It's only about a 5 minute drive from our house to the hardware store and we ride in silence, but from the corner of my eye I can see the smile on Abby's face that stretches from one ear to the other and I know her wheels are turning 90 miles an hour in that pretty head of hers. I don't ask any questions though and when we pull into the parking lot of the store, she jumps out before I even have the car in park and is around to my door yanking it open.

    "Come on Sarah! We need to hurry and get in there!" she smiles.

    "Why? What is the big rush? All we are doing is getting mom paint samples, not saving the world." I laugh as we walk through the front door of the store.

    "This way, come on." she says, still smiling as she grabs my hand and drags me to the paint department looking around until her eyes land on what she is looking for. "Wait here and I'll be right back." She walks off in the direction of a young employee who is working to put paint cans on the shelf. I look around the little store remembering riding my bike up here as a kid to get ice cream out of the little freezer up front. Not much has changed since then, it's still the same little mom and pop hardware store on the corner of the main street through our small town.

    "This is Sarah now. I bet you don't even recognize her anymore." I hear Abby say as her and the employee walk my way pulling me from my thoughts.

    "Hey there, nice to meet ya. I'm Sarah, Abby's sister. Seems like the 2 of y'all know each other pretty well." I smile and hold my hand out to shake the young employee's, now seeing his name tag that says Austin.

    "Holy s**t Sarah, you grew up good!" he ignores my hand and grabs me up in a tight hug. Putting me down a moment later he laughs, saying, "You don't remember me, do ya? Oh hell! I'm Jackie and Martin Anderson's boy! We went to grade school together until I got into some trouble and they sent me to a private school to straighten me out."

    I stare at him for a moment, studying his features before it finally hits me like a ton of bricks to the face, "Austin Anderson..I remember you now. You shoved me off the slide in 6th grade and broke my arm and never apologized." I say, crossing my arms over my chest, trying to give him my angriest look, but unable to fight back a smile. I had the biggest crush in the world on Austin in grade school, but he left before I ever got the courage to tell him. Giving him a long look head to toe, I see he has grown up pretty good too. Standing about 6 foot tall, he towers over me, but that's not hard to do since I'm only 5 foot 8 inches. His arms are muscled from his shoulders to his wrists, and his face is no longer that of a boy, but instead a chiseled man. A strong jaw line with the slightest bit of scruff on it and blue eyes that go on for ever as if you are staring into the ocean.

    "Like what you see?" Austin asks, pulling me back to earth, a smirk on his face. I shake my head looking away trying to hide my blushing cheeks. "How about I apologize for my stupid kid behavior over dinner tomorrow night?"

    "Are you asking me out on a date?" I ask sheepishly, still trying to hide the blush that has now consumed my face.

    "Hell yea I am. I'd be an i***t to miss a chance to take a beautiful woman like you to dinner!" he says smiling big at me.

    "Umm... I don't think I can, not right now. Maybe another time." I reply, sadness in my voice.

    "And why the hell not, Sarah?" Abby jumps in, clearly frustrated with me, standing next to Austin.

    "Abby, please. You know I have a lot going on right now and I have priorities, I can't just go out whenever I feel like it." I say, pleading with Abby with my eyes.

    "Even more reason for you to take Austin up on his offer. Mom and I will take care of your 'priorities' for the night." Abby says, smiling now, knowing I won't argue with her in front of anyone.

    "So, is that a yes?" Austin asks, looking at me with a hopeful look on his face.

    "I guess it is." I reply smiling at him. "I'll see you tomorrow night, you can get my number from Abby. Now Abby, let's get the paint and go, before mom thinks we ran away."

    I grab Abby's hand and pull her away to go pick out our paint samples before heading home. Once home, I tear into Abby for throwing me under the bus the way she did. I wanted so bad to be angry with her, but deep down, I was pretty excited for hopefully a normal night out with Austin Anderson, my childhood crush. Of course mom hears me getting mad with Abby and comes in the room and Abby wastes no time telling her everything that happened. I expected her to be on my side, but instead she got all excited with Abby and then it hit me, THIS is what the wink was about. My mom and sister set me up.