Sweeter than Cake [MxM] [English Version]

18 / Nervous

"Lynx. I don't want to hear anything from you. Please stop asking trivial things."

"So you need alone time. Again. And I am ordered to go back by you." Lynx's mischievous expression wanted to remind me of my inconsistency. He didn't even ask anything. He just made a clear statement.

I glanced at Lynx and he just lifted his eyebrows.

“You can be here. But don’t say anything.” I could hear Lynx’s chuckle after my words.

While sitting on the floor, I pull my legs and hug them with my hands. And the sound that accompanied the silence between me and Lynx that afternoon was my deep breath every several minutes.

Lynx didn’t need to explain how useless my question was before. I knew he would argue my question with my unreasonable action. The way Lynx answered my question with something nonlogical would be the same as the way I was feeling so passionate to kiss him. Even his first answer that “I have all that he needed '' sounded more reasonable than I was kissing him with my hand embracing his neck.

The more I thought about my action, the more I felt so stupid.

No need to feel guilty about yourself. That might happen occasionally when someone likes you. No need to rush yourself.

Some supportive sentences had been uttered from Lynx’s mouth. The rare occasion which I should appreciate him if I had been in normal condition. But not today. All of his sentences were like an arrow that was attacking my body from every direction.

"Maybe…." My one word was stopped because I realized someone has been looking at me. Lynx put his head on his cross arms which were on his bent knee. Smiled. Didn't know how long he was in that position. Looking at me with a relaxed expression.

“Maybe we should go down. Mom doesn't know that you are here. Or you just stay here. I will tell Mom.” My voice somehow resembled a robot's speech. I tried to ignore Lynx’s gaze and got up as I finished my sentences.

Before I stepped, my hand was held by Lynx’s hand. He followed me to get up, then said, “I will go down also.”

Still avoiding his gaze, I didn’t respond to either his word or his touch. I just walked fastly to get out of my bedroom. Climbed down the stairs at a fast pace without waiting for my guest who was following behind me.

“Lynx is here, Mom.”

No need to help Mom because lunch was already on the dining table, so I pulled the chair and sat down. I thought my existence there was normal like usual. But the corner of my eye caught someone who was looking at me suspiciously.

"W…what?" My word was heard overreacted even by my ears.

After had looked at me, Mom glanced at Lynx. She investigated our expressions like a detective who searched for the perpetrator.

"Nothing. Suddenly, I need to check my job. So both of you can have lunch first. No need to wait for me, okay?" Mom patted my shoulder and then left me and Lynx in the dining room.

What was my Mom thinking? It is normal for me to nap for just about thirty minutes. But why did she look at me suspiciously like that?

"Everybody will know if you've done something with your behavior like that."

Lynx's words made me become more insecure. I didn't have any objection to that statement. However, I was too confused to do normal things after that kiss.

"Do you want to go to my house after lunch? After ten years, you were there in such a tense condition. I want to introduce my house properly to you." Invite Lynx after waiting for several seconds of silence.

My nod to Lynx's invitation led us to use Mom's car and go to Olivine's residence. The silence continued in the car. I chose to focus on looking at the side window rather than at Lynx who was driving.

I didn’t know how big Olivine’s residence was because I and Lynx came to that place by teleportation. And I was surprised when the car passed the luxury main gate which I could only see from outside before. I could enjoy the scenery of a garden with pine trees that blocked people's sight from the street outside. Inside the pine tree gates, there was a paving block that led to the building which was hundreds of meters away from the main gate.

There was a building in a very wide forest-like garden to the point I couldn’t see the fence. The building was a three floors minimalist building which should be all of Olivine's inhabitation and there was another three floors building near the house which was used by Olivine’s workers as a mess.

I was glad enough that Lynx had offered himself to be a driver, so I could see this amazing scenery that exceeded my imagination about Olivine's residence.

The car stopped at the side of the building then Lynx did his attraction with his hand to lift the garage door. And between some black sedan cars, Mom's yellow city car was parked.

Not only the garage door but the car door has been opened by Lynx's power. Before I finished releasing the seat belt, Lynx had already stood up beside me with the door opened. He lent his hand to me and made me stuck for seconds.

"How many things do you want to do to make me so uncomfortable like this?” I refused his hand and got out of the car seat.

"I want to do teleportation. How can I bring you there if you don't want to be touched?"

"You can only touch my shoulder like before.”

He lent his hand to me insistently and I insisted on not following his romantic act. Then he closed the door with his power and grabbed my hand. The closeness between my body and Lynx made my heart beat fast. And now his five fingers tried to fill the space between my fingers.

I think this is one of the things a couple will do, isn't it?

He did it so slowly, but I realized it a second later. When my brain function was back to normal, I tried to release Lynx's grab. But he held me more tightly.

"You…"

The last thing I remembered before we teleported from the garage was Lynx's smile. When we passed the black hole sensation, my body was pushed into Lynx's clothes because I couldn't stand still. Unconsciously, I grabbed Lynx's cloth with my other hand which was not held by him.

"I am going to witness every little thing of your nervousness today."

"You… jerk…"

My head was bent and sank upon Lynx's chest for a while. When I thought that I was the most nervous one here, I felt something from his body. His heartbeat was abnormal also. It could be heard more clearly when Lynx released his hand to hug me.

"My neck… ouch…" I feel the pain in my bent neck was dominating more than my curiosity about Lynx's heartbeat.

I tried to stand up straight so my eyes were perpendicular to Lynx's nose. When I lifted my head up a little, I could see someone with a relaxed expression, opposite from his heartbeat.

We were staring at each other for quite a long time. I was trying to search for my best friend's figure in Lynx's eyes. Somehow that figure has disappeared slowly and been replaced by someone quite strange to me.

Every move happened between Lynx and me, somehow my gut felt that the distance became wider. I couldn't describe it well. But I didn't want to believe my gut also. I hoped someday it would disappear.

"You make me confused, Lynx. Don't know how many things about you will surprise me. I hope I don't lose my best friend."

After hearing my words, Lynx gave me a kiss on my forehead before we went into the building. As a sign that he wanted me to not worry about it.

From the living room, I could assume that Lynx was the one who designed it. With all of the white domination over the furniture, the atmosphere was similar to Lynx’s bedroom. The distance between furniture, the distance between the sofas, and the large space made that living room seem so wide but also cold. Those described much about Lynx’s character which was distant from people.

I and Lynx walked to one of the corridors. On the right, there was a little garden inside the building which was separated by a glass wall. And there were so many closed doors on the left. Lynx led me to go more within the building and we arrived at a bigger living room plus dining room at the corner which was separated by five-step stairs.

Instead of cozy sofas in the middle of the room, I preferred the dining room which could enjoy garden scenery from the glass door. Green grass overlay which could be as wide as a basketball court seemed to call out to me to be there. The shine from the sun and the wind which swayed the grasses was enough to complement the monotonous movement which could make people relaxed. That relaxed scenery made me stunned in front of the glass door for half a minute.

“Do you want to drink some tea?” Asked Lynx from behind.

“Oh… yeah. Make it the same as you.”

Lynx ordered a waitress who directly came from the pantry area to our position. He just said hot peach tea and several minutes later there were two glasses with one teapot which saturated the atmosphere with fruity smelled steam. I followed Lynx's movement who pulled a chair beside him for me.

Without some effort on his expression, Lynx poured the liquid on the teapot into two glasses then the peach aroma spread from them. His hand was placed above one glass and moved to another glass with fast speed. In an instant, the steam which has been above the liquid has disappeared. I thought Lynx had reduced the temperature of the hot tea for the sake of being easily drunk.

While I enjoy drinking the warm tea, Lynx initiated, “Liking you is one of my unsolved questions ever. I asked myself for years to the point I am getting used to leaving it unsolved. So if you want to debate it, I will be lost without you making some effort.”

Just like what I thought before, Lynx couldn’t answer my question logically.

“You no need to answer that. I take my words back.” There were several seconds of silence before I continued as if Lynx has already known that the sentence was not completed. “Because I did something nonlogical also to you. But… but… I thought it was different from yours. I am still thinking if my response was because I liked you or just the situation.”

“Yeah. I am not expecting it all, anyway. Don’t worry.”

“Really?”

Lynx was nodding confidently. “So you don’t need to be confused about the change between us. You can imagine it as a ticket to a concert show. You shouldn’t ask the musician why they were playing like that, but you can just enjoy it. You can also go out if you don’t like it.”

I realized I was quite amazed at how Lynx put a metaphor in his sentences. It almost hypnotized me as always. I used to reply to him, but today I chose to enjoy it as his words about the concert shows. And I hoped my uncertainty about him gradually vanished with the steam of peach tea.

After tea time in the dining room, Lynx invited me to look around his house. Every floor has a similar minimalist concept, but the second and third floor was divided into several rooms in several corridors. The room was not quite as spacious as the first floor, but the corridor was still wide enough to make every floor look wide.

Instead of doing teleportation, we were walking side by side, going in to lift, and seeing every corner of Olivine’s residence. Lynx’s bedroom and Olivine’s private room, which I had been there two days ago, were on the second floor. He also mentioned Vanilla’s room which was far away from his room. Always. He always tried to make me believe that he and Vanilla’s relationship was nothing besides the terrorist concern.

Then we arrived in one room on the third floor which surprised me.

“The library in the house… Oh my…”

“This is the place that I spend the most time at.”

My shocked face was finished by a deep exhale. Then I turned around to Lynx, frowning. “You like to read, but why do you always reject my option to go to the library? Or… You were confident enough that all books from the library in this city were here also?”

“I don’t like reading books in noisy circumstances.”

“Library should not be so noisy.”

“My hearing and my vision are more sensitive than human beings. So do you want to drag me to read in a place full of sighing, foot stomping, and noisy whispering? Hell, no.”

One thing again about Lynx’s power which I should take in my note. I laughed. I had assumed that Lynx was not interested in something, but it was because he has some limitations.

Before Lynx was questioning my laugh, I ran to the edge of the library room. There were some sofas with many pillows. And the scenery caught me looking outdoors from the glass replacing the wall. Beautiful scenery could be looked at from the third floor of Olivine’s residence. Because the house was on a hill nearly outside the city, I could see mountain views also with city scenery from the glass wall.

“Oh… This place is so relaxing.” I lay down on the big sofa, hugged one pillow, and then saw the scenery to relax my eyes.

“I know you will like it.”

“Yeah. This relaxing scenery is rarely seen in our city. No wonder you don’t want to go on vacation. Your house is your comfort zone.”

“Who said I don’t want to?”

I turned my head to Lynx who was sitting beside me.

“You… Went home earlier when we were on vacation.”

“When?”

“When ninth grade we were going to the beach on school summer vacation. Suddenly you just disappeared without telling me before. And you didn’t want to talk about it again after that.”

Lynx frowned at me. And like one year ago when it happened, he still didn’t tell me his reason.