Poor Me

Chapter 14

Mica

I spent all my life being closed off trying to protect my self from getting hurt by other people. I spent my life judging people for not seeing the others for what they really are. I thought they were stupid for letting other people use them like they are not worth anything. But now here I am in a corner sulking because Dylan is with Blue laughing her ass off. They keep touching each other which is very annoying like why the f**k can't they keep their hands off each other. It is so annoying when they whisper then giggle.

Giggle!!

Dylan doesn't giggle much. She only does it when she can't help herself which is not most of the time. Usually I'm the one making her giggle, making her laugh.

I'm a jealous b***h who couldn't make up her mind when an opportunity availed itself. I let fear make me lose someone who matters to me most. I regret not giving us a chance but I guess I have to give up now. Dylan is clearly happy and ruining her chance at happiness is not a good thing to do. Is it bad that I want the happiness to be with me and only me. I lift the bottle up taking sip of my beer.

Fuck it.

I drown it all then put the empty bottle to the side then reach for another one. If I get drunk enough I'll be able not to keep dreaming about ways to get rid of Blue.

Ways I can make Dylan moan my name.

Maybe if I tell Blue something she won't like about Dylan she won't be interested in her anymore.

Okay that's evil.

I should stop being such a horrible friend and maybe look for someone else too. I look around our friend group but no one catches my eyes except for my friend. The are only a handful of people around so it's easy to spot her every time I look over.

She is now talking to Jessy, laughing loudly at something he said. She tucks her hair behind her ears shifting on her feet, a nervous habit of hers. Jessy probably said something that she's not comfortable with. I'm about to go try and bail her from whatever that is when I feel a small tap on my back. I turn and find big hazel eyes staring at me.

"Hey it's Mica right. We didn't get to properly meet the other day" Blue sticks out her hand for me to shake a smile on her pretty round face. It's really hard to hate her damnit!!.

"Yeah nice to finally meet you" I take her hand but instead of shaking it I lean down kissing it the back of it. Just to be nice and to feel better about myself.

"My, my. You're such a darling aren't you. No wonder Dylan can't keep her mouth shut about you" she muses.

"Hope she only says good things about me"

"Most of it is good but one might think she has a little crush on you" My heart swells at her words. Does she really think that, can Dylan really still want me like that after all that I said, after pushing her away. I squash the those thoughts down because I can't keep hoping for the impossible. I can't mess this up for Dylan even though the thought of her having a crush on me.

"No f*****g way. Dylan is crazy about you Blue and ever since she started seeing you she has been a little bit better. We just have been friends for so long that's why she talks about me a lot. I just hope you will treat her right she's very important to me" I tell her sincerely.

"That's so sweet of you. I guess I must have confused your relationship then. I won't mess up I promise. Dylan is a germ and I plan on keeping her for as long as she'll have me" she says in a serious voice.

"Well I like the sound of that"

"Me too" says Dylan behind us. She comes up and hugs Blue giving her a peck on the lips. I feel my heart clenching but I put on a smile for them.

Dylan looks at me thinking I'll say something but I just turn and walk away leaving them standing there. I walk outside then throw the bottle across the floor spilling the contents inside of it.

When I turn around Dylan is standing there looking at me her mouth agape. She closes it then looks at me for a few seconds not saying anything before she comes close to me.

"What wrong" she asks.

"Everything!! Every fucken thing is wrong Dylan"I turn around not able to look at her in the eyes anymore, I'm losing my s**t right now and I can barely hold punching a wall in. "The real question here is what isn't wrong"

"Well you can tell me what's bothering you now and we can try to fix it" she mutters.

"Well if you want to know what's bothering me so much then I'll tell you" I walk closer to her, getting on her face "What's bothering me is that you are busy with Blue all the fuckin time and it's so annoying"

"Dude you were the one who just told Blue how much she means to me a minute ago, what has changed? You know I like her."

"What if I like you too!!" I shout "I like you and it's hurts seeing you with her alright."

"But I...Mica I like you too but you refused to be with me. Now I've moved on I can't just drop Blue like a hot potato for someone who can't make up her mind. You said you didn't want to ruin our friendship so what has changed all of a sudden. Don't you want me to be happy again"

"I'm sorry for being selfish and not thinking about your feelings but Dylan I made a mistake. I really want you and I'm willing to do anything to prove to you how much you mean to me. Please give me another chance"

"I can't do that Mica, I'm also protecting my heart like you protected yours. Blue is safe and is exactly what I need to get my life back in order" she says softly backing away to go back inside.

"Well know this Dylan. I'm not giving up on us, on you. I will make sure you realize how much you want me. I'll do anything in my power to show you that I'm right person you need not Blue"

"Good luck" she turns around and walks away.

I look at her as she walks and I make up my mind. Dylan is the only one I want and I'm going to get her. f**k Blue and her pretty eyes.

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Sorry for the crappy chapter, I just got my wisdom tooth removed and I was in no mood to write.

Love you ❤️