Poor Me

Chapter 3

Mica

I wake up and it's already afternoon. I calculate the hours I slept like I always do before I sleep and after I wake. It's a habit of mine I got when I started having insomnia. But I don't mind it, I like doing things when people are asleep and it's peaceful and quiet no one to disturb me either. Then I sleep during the day which also works for me because I don't do much during the day. I stay locked in my small apartment watching anime, k-dramas, movies, series, reading books and mangas or listening to music. The options are endless really, I hardly have time to do any work. I procrastinate as much as I can which my friend Dylan hates and always chastises me about.

She's cute when she yells at me, so originally I do things that piss her off. She doesn't let me off easy though she annoys me every chance she gets. Making fun of me about my obsession with anime and mangas when she watches murder mysteries for fun. Seriously who does that. I love her regardless though because she's all I have. Literally.

I'm an orphan and yes I find orphan jokes funny, much to Dylan's annoyance. My parents died happy and in love with each other. Mom died first because of heart failure then dad a year later. They were cool parents and they raised me well. But they were never home so I got used to being alone most of the time until Dylan made her way into my life of course. Mostly I keep my circle small which is cool. She budged in my life and didn't give a chance to push her away. I remember how the first time she saw me she said I'm the most beautiful girl she's ever seen. I didn't know if she was hitting on me or what. When she saw the look on my face she laughed and said she loved me already.

I ramage around my closet looking for something comfy to wear. When I don't find anything I feel like, I give up making my way towards my speaker. I look for a song that I feel like dancing to, which happens to be Gold by Kiiara. I make my way to kitchen dancing all the way there in nothing but my matching underwear. That's the other thing about me. I like wearing sexy underwear not necessarily for someone but solely for me. Dylan freaked when she saw me wearing my favorite black lace panties and bra. She'd thought I was getting laid that day. I was not but I didn't deny it nor did I agree with her.

I never told her when I lost my virginity because I was so embarrassed and she was dealing with stuff of her own. I've never been in a serious relationship and I'm cool with that infact that's how I like it. Relationships are a lot of work and I don't like working. Dylan said I'm just afraid of putting my heart out there which I don't see a problem with. Why would I put it there so some loser can break it. No thank you. I like my heart intact thank you very much. I just don't get why people would put themselves through something like that. Some even date someone knowing too well that they are a player. Or when they continue to date them while they cheated with another person. How do people do that.

I couldn't.

I'm gonna keep protecting my heart even if i end up alone. I'm better that way anyway. I pull out my leftover dunked wings, reheating them for 2 minutes then eating them when my music goes quiet then my phone starts ringing. I go back inside my bedroom to answer it.

"Hey b***h" a squeaky voice greets me. It's Dylan. She knows I hate phone calls but she calls me just to annoy me.

"Dylan I told you not to call me. Whatever happened to texting, mmmhh?" I ask her patiently.

"But I missed you Babu" she softens her voice.

"Well I missed Orson and Kalen, you're too annoying to miss" I tease her though I really miss the kids they are the most adorable things ever.

"f**k off. You should come visit, they were with mom for the day but she was supposed to bring them here an hour ago. I'm getting worried"

"They're fine, just enjoy the peace while you still can" i assure her.

"yeah I will" she agrees but I can still hear the worry in her voice.

"hey Babu I'm getting another call. Talk soon okay" she says.

"I love you bye" She cuts me off without saying she loves me back which is weird and the fact that she took another call and chose to drop mine is unusual we usually talk for hours if she forces me to answer her calls. It was probably important so I continue with what I was doing.

Two hours later I find out my friend just lost big chunk of her soul.

*****************************************

It's been 3 weeks since the kids passed and I feel like s**t. I can hardly sleep which is horrible since I didn't sleep much already. So I've been a walking zombie for the past three weeks making sure my friend doesn't fall over to the dark side. I go there everyday to check on her but I refused when Tate wanted me to move in for a short while. Like I said I like my space but I'll move in if Dylan doesn't get better. I'd literally do anything for her, kill if need be.

I grab my laptop bag and rush out the door. I have to arrive when Tate is still there because we're trying not to give Dylan some time to feel alone. I'm in their apartment in less than 30 minutes and luckily Tate is still there. She says something to Dylan then exits the room. We make eye contact but she doesn't say anything. Me and have never been close. Sure I was happy when Dylan fell in love and when she moved in with her she was glowing but when they had the kids less than 6 months ago she changed and I don't like it. I feel like she loves working more than her family which is bullshit. I didn't say anything because Dylan looked happy and that's all that mattered.

"Hey Babu" I greet her by her favorite nickname that she made for me but I also called her by it. She doesn't answer she just keeps staring at nothing. I'm used to this so I keep talking.

"You look cute you know, just that your eyes are a little puffy and swollen." I put my laptop beside her "can I watch My Hero Academia, Dabi is so hot but I'd sell my soul to be with Shoto" i say fanning myself.

"I ship Deku and Bakugo" I points at the screen "the one with greenish hair is Deku and Bakugo is the one with blonde hair and anger issues"

She moves closer so she can see the screen clearly pulling the urns under her arm and swinging the other one around my waist. I take that as a win. I smile as I tells her who is who and their life storys.

We watch a couple of episodes and then I get up to go use the bathroom. I find Dylan's eyes closed, I sit instead of sleeping just looking at her.

"Why did this happen to me Mica" she asks then opens her eyes looking at me for answers. "Why did I have to lose them. I always try to help others, I'm a good person but this happened to me. They were just innocent little babies"

"I don't know why it happened love but I'm here for you. Whatever you need" I assure her in a soft voice that just comes out raspy as always.

"I need my boys Mica. Please give me that" I feel helpless because that's the one thing I can't give to her. I see tears fall down her cheeks and I hear my heart breaking for her.

"You know I believe in God right and I believe everything happens for a reason" she scoffs "You might not see it right now but maybe later you will. All I know is that I'm here for you. Everytime you need me I'll be there to pull you up when you sink into the depts of depression. I can't tell you not to morn the death of their lives but I'm telling you that I'm here while you do it because I don't want to lose you too" At this point I'm also crying. I feel like I'm failing her and I hate it.

"I miss them Babu, I miss my kids"

"Me too love, me too"

I crawl towards her and wrap my arms around her body, urns between us and I keep her in my arms because I'm not ready to let go.

"I'm hungry, what do you want us to eat" I finally ask her.

"I want ice cream" Of course she does, she hasn't been eating for a long time and I'm determined to get some food inside her.

"Tell you what, I'll order pizza and we'll eat it then we'll stuff our faces with ice cream after. How's that?"

She shrugs.

I'll take that as a yes.

But it feels like she's giving up and I don't like it.

"You know Dylan, I would never survive without you. You're my entire world."

Before she could answer I takes my phone and start ordering the pizza.

"The pizza will be here in 20. I ordered your favorite." I smile "Let's watch another episode to pass time"

"okay" is all I get.

The pizza arrives in 15 minutes so I pay and bring it to the bedroom putting it between us in the bed. I walk out to grab water from the fridge. She immediately drinks half the water and then we eat the pizza. I clean up taking everything back to the kitchen takes everything to the kitchen then come back to lie next to her. We stay silent until she takes the urns out under the blanket, giving them a kiss then putting them on the night stand. she brings the blanket to her neck then places her head on my chest and I run my fingers through her hair until she dozes off.

I wake up later because I hear a faint sound and someone keeps moving disturbing from my sleep.

"What"

"My phone is ringing and I think it under you"

"oh sorry" I move to the side grabbing her phone and giving it to her.

"Hey Tommy" she answers.

It's her brother but I can't hear what he's saying that makes Dylan's breath hitch. She opens her mouth to speak but no words come out.

But I can see when it all goes wrong.