ILY

ILY Even During Dark Times

Jethro saw himself leaning on the wall that separates the hallways from Topaz's room.

Topaz might never walk again. Why did this happen to her? Of all people in the world, why Topaz, why now?

It was selfish. Jethro knew that. But he was still guilty of the fact that he chose to be a coward and did not walk Topaz home. He felt that things could have been much different if he had chosen not to leave her that day.

He was still sitting there, his back on the wall and his hand on his chest when the doctor came out together with Mrs. Layton, Topaz's Mom. Their eyes met as the doctor walked towards his direction, not minding him as he sat there like a defeated boy on the floor.

"You came back," He could hear a slight crack in Mrs. Layton's voice. But she chose to smile at him despite the pain that they were going through right now. "Topaz is awake. She would love to see you." Was there a sound of despair in her voice? Why did it feel that, somehow, she was indirectly telling him to please come and be a friend to her daughter?

Jethro slowly got up and brushed the dirt on his pants. He tried to smile as broad as he could, pretending not to hear the conversation that Mrs.Layton and Topaz had with the doctor.

He took a deep breath as he followed Topaz Mon inside the room.

Just as he stepped inside the door, she saw Topaz inside, smiling behind the bruises and the wounds. She was smiling at him and was genuinely looking happy, even with the fact that she might never walk again.

"Hi!" Topaz said in a welcoming voice.

Jethro slowly walked towards her, Mrs. Layton excused herself. "I need to go to the canteen for a while. I'll leave you two here." She said, looking at him and not Topaz.

"How are you?" Jethro felt stupid asking the question. Of course, she was not OK. But what else would he say?

"Thankful that I am alive. I can't imagine leaving my Mom alone." Topaz answered. Jethro did not expect to hear that from her but was somehow thankful that she was somehow in good spirits, despite her situation.

Jethro moved closer, noticing that her eyes were a bit watery. He silently prayed that she would not cry.

"I should have walked you home." He was not planning to do that, but it was what his heart was wanting to say.

"No, don't say that. Yesterday was one of the best days that I had despite the accident. None of it was your fault. It was meant to happen."

Why is she taking this so well? He did not wish for Topaz to cry in despair or be mad at him or in life or in any force or faith that led her to be in that accident. But how can she stay this positive, knowing that she might never walk again?

"Can you hold my hand?" Topaz said, out of nowhere.

Jethro moved quickly and took the hand that Topaz was offering. "Can you come again tomorrow? Afterschool?" She said. "I just don't want to feel lonely."

Jethro nodded and placed his other hand over the one that was holding Topaz's hand.

"Mom has to work, our insurance may not be able to cover all of my expenses here. She still needs to go to the police to try and catch the person that led me to this. She has so much on her mind right now. I really want her to stay by my side, but I know she needs to do those things. Would you stay by my side instead?" Jethro could see a tear building up on the side of her face.

Jethro smiled at her. "I could also stay for the night if you want. I'll just have to grab a few things and tell my parents."

"But how about school?" Topaz was surprised. But somehow her eyes brightened up, they looked a bit more lively.

"I can take a shower in one of the bathrooms here tomorrow, go to school and then get back here again. Your mom could use some rest too.", he added.

They stood like that, looking at each other, holding hands up until Mrs. Layton came back.

It was not hard to convince Mrs. Layton with Jethro staying overnight. She genuinely looked like she had trust in him. Besides, she was ready to give in to anything that Topaz wanted right now. It was hard to say no to her in this situation.

Jethro immediately left after getting Mrs. Layton's approval and headed home to pick up his things. He carried a small duffel bag and his school backpack to fit his uniform for tomorrow, some books and toiletries.

He was pretty excited but nervous at the same time.

How would they spend the night? What would they talk about? At the last minute, he died to bring his laptop. It could offer temporary entertainment for awkward moments in case they have any.

He also brought some fruit.

Arriving at the hospital, he was torn about heading straight to Topaz's room or getting some flowers at the hospital's gift shop. He chose the latter. He wanted to give her flowers.

Jethro has been taking a lot of deep breaths lately. But he wanted to be with Topaz. And she needed to have someone by her side right now.

Mrs.Layton was cleaning up what seemed to be Topaz's dinner when Jethro knocked on their door.

"Good evening." He said in a weak voice, afraid to surprise them or to make a noise.

"You came." Topaz sounded happy.

"Of course, I wanted to," Jethro said as he walked towards Topaz.

"Are you sure that you two can manage without me tonight?" It sounded like a question, but you can see in Mrs. Layton's eyes said that she was tired. That somehow she was looking forward to resting tonight."

"We will call in case we need anything, but rest assured, you can catch some sleep tonight. We can manage. I'll text you updates so you won't be too worried about us." Topaz told his Mom.

Mrs. Layton looked at Jethro as if she was asking if he was certain that he was willing to stay overnight to look after Topaz.

'We will be fine," Jethro tried to make his voice reassuring. "And we won't stay late, I promise that Topaz would have the rest that she needs." He paused a bit and looked at Topaz. "I'll even update you in case the doctor comes." He added.

"Alright then, I will leave you two. Call me for anything, OK." She grabbed a brown bag and raised it a bit, showing it to Jethro mainly. "I hope you eat Chinese Food. I assumed you haven't had dinner so I bought you some to enjoy tonight." She looked at Topaz. "Topaz can eat solid foods but not too much. Please do not give in to her requests. And please no soda." She raised a finger towards Topaz but she was smiling. Nevertheless, we knew that Topaz should stick with a more nutritious diet while in the hospital.

"Yes, Mom." Topaz raised her hand a bit as if she was swearing to follow all the things that her mom told us to do. "Now kiss me and rest, please. You'll have a lot of things to attend to tomorrow."

Mrs.Layton walked towards Topaz's bed and kissed her on the forehead. She turned around and walked towards the door but did not forget to lightly tap Jethro's shoulder while silently saying, "Thanks for doing this." Jethro smiled timidly and escorted Mrs. Layton to the door.

There was a few seconds of silence inside the room after Mrs. Layton left the room.

"Is that for me?" Topaz was the first one who broke the silence.

"Oh, yes." He handed her flowers. "Sorry I did not have time to go to a flower shop, I just brought it from the hospital gift shop." He scratched his head a bit.

"It's always the thought that counts," Topaz said, smiling. "So, what are our plans for tonight?"

There was a slight excitement in Jethro's voice. The ice finally broke. '"I brought my laptop and I have a few movies saved here. You get to choose what we have tonight." He smiled, putting his stuff on the sofa close to the wall as he pulled the laptop from his backpack.

He walked back towards Topaz, who was slowly moving to the side to give space for Jethro on her bed.

"Wait, stop. Try not to move a lot. I'll just get a chair." Jethro felt that it was too much for him to sit beside Topaz in bed. He would be able to move and be himself if he was that close to her.

He placed the laptop beside Topaz and entered his password so she could choose which movie to watch. He took one of the chairs and carried it beside Topaz's bed so he could see the monitor screen.

"Hey, have dinner, Mom will feel bad if she sees that tomorrow." Topaz reminded him.

He grabbed the brown bag while looking back at Topaz, who was already browsing on his computer. She has the laptop on her lap. When he sat back in the chair, she had already picked a movie. It was "Wanted" starring Angelina Jolie.

"Sorry, I really do not have a lot of movies saved on my computer. Most of them are just my favorite and I really do not have a lot."

"No worries, I like this movie."

Jethro enjoyed his Chinese food while they both silently watched the movie. He would offer Topaz a bite of his food but she would smile instead. "I want to be out of the hospital as soon as possible. So I guess I'll stick with the restricted diet that they gave me." She explained.

"Does it hurt?" Jethro asked out of nowhere. "Sorry, I did not mean to ask that."

"It's fine." Topaz smiled a bit. "You know what, it actually hurts when someone asks about it. But to tell you, I do not feel anything below, not unless I push myself to do so. I am not really sure. If it is just my mind telling me that it hurts or if it is my heart hoping that I can still feel something in my legs."

"Sorry. I should not have asked you that." Jethro was really sorry. It was supposed to be a quiet and lovely night for both of them. And here he is, asking about her legs.

Topaz reached out to Jethro's face and removed a few strands of hair on his forehead. "Can you keep a secret? He asked him.

"I guess so." He said.

"You know what, I am actually afraid. I am afraid that what the doctor said was true. That I would never walk again." She paused and took a deep breath. "Please do not tell Mom."

Jethro had no answer to that. His mouth was still full but he stopped chewing and looked at Topaz.

He placed his foot on the floor and chewed a bit so he could talk without rice spewing from his mouth.

Jethro reached out for Topaz's hands and said, with all sincerity, "You know what, I think the doctors are wrong too. I know that you can walk. With the right motivation, and simply by just having faith, you can walk again. You just have to believe that you can."

Topaz smiled a bit.

"If you want to, I'll help you. I'll be by your side as you go through this. We will work together to bring you back to your feet." By this time, Topaz was already teary-eyed.

"Really? Don't do this because you just feel sorry for me." She said, wiping the tear that was starting to fall from her eyes.

"Of course not. We are friends." Jethro regretted saying the last sentence. But it felt too early to tell her that he liked her.

"And here I was thinking that you liked me," Topaz said, looking at Jethro. Her face was expressionless.

"I am just joking," Topaz said, now smiling.

Jethro tried to smile too. They got back to watching the movie, but deep down inside, Jethro wished to go back five minutes in time. If that was possible, he would tell Topaz that he liked her. He likes her a lot.

"Hey," Topaz said. "Promise not to tell Mom that I cried. She will be worried. She is already worried. I do not want to add more to it."

Jethro took Topaz's hands, firmly holding on to it. "I promise."