Losing You

Chapter 10

Ant

I unlock the door and walk inside. Nina is already standing at the door holding a glass of lemonade for me. I grab it and thank her. "I didn't know you were going to work today. I woke up and was surprised to find you gone for the day. I had to call Pine and make sure they weren't overworking you over there. Are you sure you are feeling up to going to work? You know, the guys say you don't have to go if your illness prevents you, or they can take it easy on you." Nina tells me. I hate having these conversations with her.

"I finally feel better. There's no point in staying here and being lazy all day. I need to make money." I felt like I had an internal fever for the last couple of days. I felt horrible. I had to call off and stay home. Ever since the first time I got sick, and passed out at work, my immune system hasn't been the same, but I am feeling way better now. I can feel myself getting stronger every day.

"Well, you look good." I thank her again and head to my room. I need to get away from Nina. I don't miss the looks she gives me, and the way she flirts, and the things she says. I look at my left hand. The wedding ring sits there. Nina says we are married, but just looking at her feels wrong. I feel nothing at all. She claims getting sick made me lose my mind and see her differently, but I have always felt like she wasn't being completely truthful with me. I pull off my shirt. I want to shower and eat something. Maybe go out for a drive. There's a knock on the door.

"Danny, I have a surprise for you," I hear Nina's voice, so I flip my t shirt back on before I open the door.

"Here is a piece of sourdough that grandma baked with your favorite raspberry jam. She wanted to surprise you on your first day back. She knows how much you love this stuff." She puts the plate down. "Thanks, Nina," She gets closer, and I grab the plate so I can stay busy. I take a bite. "This is good stuff. The bread is baked perfectly." I tell her. She giggles and nods. Something about a warm crispy bread with jam that makes me feel complete. It's my favorite food combo.

"So, I was thinking since you are finally feeling better, we should go on a date tonight?"

"I'm tired from work. I don't know." She chuckles. I mean, I wanted to go on a ride, but not on a date with Nina. "Oh please. Stop acting like an old man, honey. We need to get out. Getting fresh air will do you good," I nod. She is right. Going out will be good for me. Maybe I need to be more open to her.

"Great, let's go to the pier. I haven't been in so long. Taking care of you has kept us at home for too long. We deserve a night out." I nod, suddenly feeling guilty. Hearing that makes me feel like a weak man.

"I will go get ready and help grandma get ready. Maybe tonight will help us reconnect, and you will finally move into my room." She practically runs out the door.

I hop in the shower and can't get her words out of my head. I have never been into her bedroom. How she claims we are married, and I don't know what the bedroom looks like, raises concern. Something is not right. Why can't I remember my past? My wedding? Nina? Grandma? This house? My job? She can say my mind is messed up all she wants. It has to be something else. I only remember waking up and Nina and her grandmother telling me I got sick and was just released from the hospital and had to rest and recover. Then I was just told that this was my life, my job, my car, my house. None of it has sat right with me. There has to be something else wrong with me. Too bad we can't afford further testing at the moment, and I have no health insurance. Life is hard.

I get ready in 30 minutes. Nina comes out of her grandmother's room and tells me she is going to hop in the shower. "Can you grab my hair towel so I can wrap my hair when I'm done?" I look around.

"Where is it?" she points to her bedroom. "It's hanging on my vanity in the room. It's green and brown. Bring it to the restroom for me," she shouts. The door closes and I hear the water running.

I walk into the room, and wow. There are food dishes scattered all over the place. On her dresser, the small table, the bed. There are half empty water bottles littered all over the place. Empty soda cans tossed all over the floor, and there is a weird smell coming from in here. I go to the vanity, but there is no green and brown towel here.

I am disgusted. I feel dirty just being in here.

She is messy, and I know I don't like messy. I like my space clean. I shake my head and try looking around. I go to the vanity and move things around. The top drawer is open, and I see something green, so I open it. Nope, it's a headpiece. I move things around, but no towel. I look around more and a small picture catches my attention, so I pick it up.

The picture is of 2 women. One looks like the mini version of the other one. Both so beautiful. They are smiling brightly, and it looks like the picture was cut so someone is missing. I just catch a glimpse of a side arm.

My heart races when I look at the older woman. She looks so familiar, but I don't think I even know her. I shake my head. She is probably Nina's relative. I should not be checking this woman out. I put the picture back and leave. I can't stand being in here any longer. It stinks.

I go knock on the door and tell Nina I can't find her towel and that I will be waiting for them outside.

I decide to do a little yard work. Mr. Peters, the mail carrier, stops by with the mail. I go set it inside and Nina is pushing her grandmother's wheelchair. "How do I look?" I step closer to grab grandma so I can push her. "You look fine, and so do you grandma,"

I load grandma into the car. Nina already has the GPS pulled up and ready to go. Luckily, the pier is only 10 minutes away from us.

Nina talks the entire way there. She barely lets her grandma or me get a word in. I am so annoyed by the time we arrive, but I want to make the best out of a night out. I hardly go anywhere. It's work, home and sleep, and at home I have been feeling suffocated.

Everything just feels wrong! But I can't tell them that. What if everything she told me was the truth? What if they are my family, and my illness just gets in the way? I can't wait to make enough to see a specialist. The Dr. at the hospital told Nina that I needed to see one about my brain and the way it works after I got sick. These lingering headaches can't be good. These thoughts about Nina and her grandfather actually make me feel bad. I want to be able to trust them, and believe their words, but Nina's stories never add up, and Grandma's facial expressions make me think that Nina isn't being 100 percent truthful.

I unload grandma and I push her towards the pier. We walk past families and something inside of me twists. I watch a dad throw his daughter in the air. She giggles and looks so happy. They run to a woman who stands by the swings. I stop in my tracks. Something about this looks familiar. "Danny...Danny..." I feel a hard tap. "Danny. Are you okay? You stopped walking?" I nod. "I'm fine. Let's keep going," I push grandma up the ramp, feeling like I am an impostor inside my body that even my name feels wrong.