Will You Be Sorry When I'm Gone?

Chapter 9

Present

“Amelia, this is ridiculous,” Matthew said to my voicemail. “Call me as soon as you get this message. I don’t know what you’re playing at, and I don’t know what you’re so mad about that you still haven’t come home. I know you’re not staying in the apartment or at the Farino, none of our friends have heard from you, and it’s getting late. I can’t imagine what you’re so mad about that you’d stay out another night, without even giving me an idea of where you are. Look, if you are on your way home, avoid the highway. There’s a brush fire there that they haven’t been able to get under control. It’s closed from the Almeda exit to ours. Be careful, okay? And please call me.”

I’m right here beside you, Matthew. I thought to myself. You just don’t realize it.

I watched as Matthew frowned at his phone. I had never gone more than 24 hours without speaking to him. Even when I was mad. Even after I’d found out Seline had gone on the ‘business trip’. Even after I’d found her bra in the downtown apartment. I hadn’t stopped talking to him then.

“Mom’s still not answering?” Alex asked as he picked up a piece of General Tso Chicken with his chopsticks.

“Nope,” Matthew said.

“That’s not like her,” Anna frowned. “I mean, she’s been mad before, but she’s never ignored us for this long. She must be really pissed. Maybe Tiffany’s isn’t going to cut it this time.”

It’s not, Anna. But not for the reason you’re thinking.

“Did you try Gramma and Grampa’s?” Alex suggested.

“Your grandfather was kind enough to stop by the office today. She didn’t go there last night, and I doubt she would be there now. Your mother and Gramma don’t exactly get along,” Matthew said.

Both kids nodded. They’d seen and heard how their grandmother treated me and how she would speak to me.

“Did you try Aunt Alecia or Uncle Kieran?” Anna suggested.

“s**t!” Matthew said. “I meant to call them this afternoon.”

“She’s probably at Aunt Alecia’s,” Anna said.

Matthew picked up his phone again and searched for my brother's and sister’s phone numbers.

“Alecia, hi. It’s Matthew,” he said when Alecia picked up. After they’d exchanged a few pleasantries, he got down to what he’d called for.

“Listen, Amelia and I had a stupid little spat last night and she went out to pick something up, or so I thought. But she didn’t come home last night and I haven’t been able to reach her today either. Have you heard from her or is she at your place?”

“She’s not here,” Alecia said. “What did you fight about?”

“It wasn’t really a fight. Barely a disagreement. She forgot to pick something up for Alex and Anna and I asked her to go grab it before we headed to the fireworks last night.”

“Alex and Anna? Your twenty year olds who could have gone to get their own whatever it was?”

“Alecia, I didn’t call to fight with you. I’m trying to find my wife, your sister. I’ve never had her go more than a few hours without contacting me or the kids and none of us have heard from her since last night.”

“Well, she didn’t come here. Not that I’d tell you if she had if she’s this mad at you. But I’m not covering for her. She isn’t here. Have you called Kieran?” She asked.

“He’s my next call,” Matthew said.

“Well, I can say that I haven’t heard from either of them today. So if she’s with Kieran and Emily, they haven’t said anything to me. Call me if you figure it out, okay? I’ll keep trying her phone.”

“Her phone is going straight to voicemail,” Matthew said. “I don’t know if she’s turned it off or if it died.”

“Or she blocked your number,” Alecia said.

“Or that,” Matthew sighed.

“Well, I’ll call you if I hear from her, but I haven’t,” Alecia said.

“Thanks. I’m going to call Kieran now,” Matthew said.

He hung up and scrolled through, looking for Kieran’s number. He pressed the contact, not looking forward to the conversation.

Even after all these years, my brother had never warmed up to Matthew.

“Matthew,” Kieran said when he answered. Matthew swallowed hard.

“Hey, Kieran. How’s it going?” Matthew said.

“Fine. You don’t call unless you need something from me. So cut the pleasantries. What do you want?”

“So, Amelia and I…” he started.

“What did you do to my sister?” Kieran asked. “Alecia just texted me saying to expect your call and that it’s about Amelia.”

Matthew took a deep breath.

“We had a little spat last night and she didn’t come home. I don’t know exactly what she’s so mad at me for, but I haven’t been able to reach her all day and her phone is going to voicemail. I was wondering if she was at your place, or if you’d heard from her?”

“She isn’t here and no, I haven’t heard from her,” Kieran said. Matthew heard him turn away from the phone and talk to someone before coming back.

“Emily said she hasn’t spoken to her either, and that she sent her a text about the baby yesterday that she hadn’t responded to.”

Kieran and his wife, Emily, were expecting their first child, and Emily had been asking me for advice. I loved my sister-in-law. She was so sweet and funny, and she was smart, too. She was definitely able to keep up with my brother.

“Should I be worried, Matthew? Because it’s not like my sister to disappear and not talk to anyone.” Kieran said.

“She’s just angry about something. She’s probably gone somewhere to clear her head and doesn’t want to be disturbed. Maybe she’s turned her phone off to avoid distractions,” Matthew suggested.

“Or she’s turned it off to avoid you. What did you fight about?” Kieran asked, accusingly.

“It wasn’t really a fight. I asked her to go pick something up that she forgot to get for the kids yesterday and she didn’t get home before we needed to leave for the fireworks,” Matthew said.

“So it was Colorado again?” Kieran asked.

“It wasn’t anything like Colorado,” Matthew fumed. “We waited as long as we could. And when she called I told her to just come meet us at the show.”

“So you did speak to her last night?” Kieran asked.

“Briefly. She called during the fireworks and we were annoyed she hadn’t shown up yet. It’s maybe twenty minutes back and forth if she took the highway to the store. But she’s being petulant and didn’t show up,” Matthew explained.

“My sister is anything but petulant,” Kieran said. That’s my baby brother! Always sticks up for his big sister.

“Well, she is today. Can you just call me if you hear from her? You don’t even have to tell me where she is. Just let me know if she’s okay, okay?”

“If I hear from her, I’ll consider it. But so you know, neither Emily nor I have heard from her today. And you’d better hope she is okay, Matthew,” Kieran warned Matthew.

“I’m sure she’s fine. She’s just letting off steam. I’ll call you if she turns up tonight. Can you let me know if you hear from her?”

Kieran sighed.

“Yeah. I will. As long as you let me know the minute you hear from her or she comes home.”

“I will, I promise,” Matthew said.

Oh Matthew. Don’t make promises you can’t keep.

“No luck?” Alex asked as Matthew put down his phone.

“They haven’t heard from her either,” Matthew told the kids.

“Aunt Seline asked if you checked the apartment,” Anna said, looking at her phone. Anna, baby, you have to know Seline is the last person I would ever go to if I’d had a spat with your dad. I’d go to your grandparents’ before I’d seek solace with her.

“She wouldn’t go to Seline,” Matthew said, looking at his phone and contemplating who else to call or where to check next.

“I know,” Anna said. “I just thought Aunt Seline might have some ideas we hadn’t thought of yet.”

“The apartment was the first place I tried. Then the Farino. Unless she’s checked in with a credit card I don’t know about, she hasn’t used ours all day. Not since before she left last night,” Matthew said.

Anna and Alex looked at each other and shrugged.

“What about her roommate? The one that moved here last month? Carrie? Callie? Maybe she went there because it’s the absolute last place you’d probably think of,” Alex suggested.

“I don’t have her phone number. But that’s a good thought. I just have no way of contacting her. But, you’re probably right. She’s probably there. We’ll give her her space. She’ll come back when she’s ready,” Matthew said.

No, I won’t.

My family continued eating, the kids scrolling on their phones, Matthew looking through his, trying to think about who else might have an idea where I could be.

I’m so close, Matthew. You’re just not looking hard enough.

“Hello?” A voice rang through the house. Alex, Anna and Matthew’s heads all shot up, thinking, for a fleeting second, that I had come back home.

“Oh. You guys are in here,” Seline said, breezing into the kitchen where Matthew and the kids were still sitting and eating.

“What are you doing here?” Matthew frowned at Seline. “And how did you get in?”

“Anna texted me and told me Amelia wasn’t home and you didn’t know where she went. I came to see if I could help in any way.”

“Now is really not a good time Seline,” Matthew said, pinching the bridge of his nose.

It was the first time I had ever heard him speak like that - so shortly - to his precious Seline.

“Matty,” Seline pouted. “I came to help. Anna seemed worried in her text.”

“Seline, please,” Matthew breathed.

“Don’t worry, Aunt Seline,” Alex said. “We figured out where she is. Sorry if we worried you.”

“I’m sorry I worried you, Aunty Seline,” Anna said, hugging my nemesis. And quite possibly, my replacement. Once they did figure out what happened to me.

“So, where is she?” Seline asked. “Did you speak to her?”

“She’s at her old roommate’s,” Alex said, scrolling through his phone again. I barely warranted five words.

“Oh, so you did speak to her. Is she okay? What was she all upset about this time?” Seline asked. I almost heard some compassion and concern in her voice.

“We didn’t speak to her, Aunty Seline,” Anna said. “We just figured out that’s where she must be. She didn’t stay in the apartment, she didn’t stay at the Farino and she didn’t use any of their credit cards to check into a hotel. She didn’t stay with any of Mom and Dad’s friends’ places, and definitely not Gramma and Grampa’s.”

“No, I would think not,” Seline said. “What about your aunt and uncle?”

“We called them. She didn’t call either of them, either. We figured where would she go where we would be the least likely to be found? Callie just moved to town, and we’ve only met her briefly. None of us have her number and we don’t know where she lives. Mom’s phone isn’t going through, so we can’t find her that way. So, it’s obvious. She went to Calllie’s,” Anna explained.

Seline looked at Anna and then at Matthew.

“That makes sense,” Seline nodded. “So you know she’s safe and now all you have to do is wait for her to finish having her little temper tantrum and come running back home. You’re a saint to put up with her, Matty.”

“That’s my wife you’re talking about, Seline,” Matthew warned.

I was gobsmacked. Flabbergasted. My gasts had been flabbered, and my smacks had been gobbed. I can’t remember when Matthew last stood up for me with Seline. With anybody.

“Oh, Matty. Come on. You know you only married her to spite your mother. You know our parents hoped we’d get together. And we still could. You could divorce Anita for this stupid stunt she’s pulling. I mean, how many years have you been dealing with these little snits and temper tantrums. My god, the twins didn’t have temper tantrums as often as your wife does,” Seline sneered.

“My wife’s name is Amelia, Seline. I know you know that. And I love my wife. I love my wife very much. And not knowing where she is, not being able to contact her is not an invitation for you to badmouth her. I don’t know where you get off thinking you’re superior to Amelia. She’s twice the woman, hell, ten times, a thousand times the woman you’ll ever be,” Matthew sneered at her.

Remember how I said I was gobsmacked and flabbergasted? If I weren’t already dead, I think this might have killed me. I don’t think my heart would have been able to handle hearing what I had hoped to hear from my family for twenty years.

“Aunt Seline, don’t talk bad about our mom,” Anna said. “I know you two don’t like each other, but she’s our mom.”

Seline looked between Matthew and the kids. Even Alex was sitting up and paying attention, his arms crossed against his chest, and he had a slight scowl. It reminded me a little of that little frown he had the day he was born. I smiled, remembering the baby he was, the toddler he grew into, and this handsome young man.

“Alright, alright, I’m sorry,” Seline held her hands up in surrender. “For what it’s worth, I was worried when you said you hadn’t heard from her all day. I know you hear from her at least twice a day. So for her to have not come home, that’s kinda bitchy, but I don’t know how badly you pissed her off. Or maybe it was cumulative.”

“Seline, thank you for your concern, but please, go home? I really don’t need extra stress. Hopefully, Amelia will calm down in a day or so, and we’ll hear from her. But for now, please. Go home,” Matthew said, leaning on the kitchen island.

“Okay, I’ll go. But do let me know when you hear from her and know that she really is okay. Okay?” Seline said. She did sound concerned, and even her voice was shaking a little.

Matthew nodded, and Seline blew kisses at the kids and left.

Matthew stood up, rubbed his face with his hands and sighed.

“I’m going to go take a shower, do some work up in my room and turn in early. You two clean up the dinner stuff, and do whatever, but keep it quiet. Wake me up if you hear from your mom, though. Okay?” Matthew said.

“Can’t Mrs. Watkins clean this tomorrow?” Alex whined. I frowned. I hoped Matthew would try to instill the lessons I’ve been trying to teach them.

“Put the leftovers away, toss the food on your plates in the garbage and put the dishes in the dishwasher. Run a warm cloth over the island. Mrs. Watkins can do a deeper clean tomorrow, but she is not coming back from her day off to clean up hours old food. You’re twenty years old, Alex. You are capable of a little work, aren’t you?”

“Yeah,” my son mumbled. Anna nudged him and smirked.

“Come on, I’ll help you,” she said. Alex smirked back at her, and they got to work together.

I sighed. I was happy that Matthew had upheld what I’d tried to instill. My only wish was that I could have seen this while I was alive.