Will You Be Sorry When I'm Gone?

Chapter 10

Before

“I’ve called you both in today to discuss Alex’s grades,” the student advisor in front of us was saying.

Report cards had come out last week and Alex’s grades were not what we expected from him.

Alex and Anna were in their junior year at Masterson and while Anna was doing well, Alex was struggling a little bit. His grades weren’t terrible. But they weren’t what we knew he was capable of.

“Where does he seem to be struggling the most?” Matthew asked, frowning.

“His grade has dropped a little in Social Studies and significantly in Law and Society,” the advisor said. “He’s not at risk of any academic suspensions or penalties yet, but we want to nip this in the bud before it becomes a bigger issue.”

“We appreciate that,” Matthew nodded.

I reached out for his hand, which he had laid on the arm of his chair. It had been two days since I’d seen him in person. Davenport Industries was growing and once again, Matthew was in the middle of a big merger and had been working late nights and staying at the apartment. My plan was to go there after this meeting to do my biweekly housekeeping.

Matthew pulled his hand away as soon as mine touched his. I placed my own hand back in my lap and sighed.

“You both know we help our students achieve their very best here at Masterson Academy. Our students often go on to Ivy League educations. We have graduated doctors, lawyers, politicians, industry leaders and even a vice president,” the advisor was saying.

Spare us the sales pitch, I thought to myself. The kids have been going here since kindergarten.

“And it’s because we have such high standards for our students that we try to turn any issues a student might be having with their coursework around before they become an issue that can’t be easily remedied. In Alex’s case, boredom seems to be at the heart of his Law and Social Studies grade. It’s not because he isn’t challenged enough, but he seems to be putting in less effort. And we want to turn that around before we have to consider suspensions,” the advisor said.

“What do you mean by suspension?” Matthew frowned. “From school?”

“Not initially. The first course of action would be athletic suspension,” the advisor said. I realized I hadn’t caught his name when we came into the office.

“Alex is the first string catcher on your school baseball team. You don’t want to suspend him in the middle of a banner season, do you?” Matthew asked.

“We don’t want to suspend any student for any reason,” the advisor said. “However if Alex’s grades continue to fall, and if it starts to affect his other grades, we may have to consider a suspension. Unless he can get these grades turned around.”

“Well,” Matthew said, frowning. “We will definitely be having a word with our son tonight and incan assure you, you will see a vast improvement in his grades.”

The advisor smiled.

“I figured you would handle this appropriately,” the advisor said. “Alex and Anna are among some of our best and brightest students. They’re both class leaders, excellent academics, usually, and quite honestly, impart the values we instill here at Masterson Academy. You should be very proud of them both.”

He smiled at us. I smiled back. Matthew’s face remained stolid.

“Thank you,” he said to the advisor. “And thank you for bringing this to our attention. We will talk with Alex tonight and come up with a plan to get his grades back up.”

“I have no doubt Alex can turn this around before the next reporting period in March,” the advisor said.

Matthew stood up, so I took that as my cue to get up as well.

“Alex really is a great kid,” the advisor said, also standing and extending his hand for Matthew to shake. He took the man’s hand and shook it once. The advisor extended his hand to me and I shook his hand lightly, as well.

“Thank you,” I said. He nodded at me.

I followed Matthew out of the office. Alex was sitting on a bench outside the office, looking sullen.

“How much trouble am I in?” he asked Matthew.

“Not as much as you think, and not as much as I was prepared for. Your grades in Social Studies and Law and Society are slipping. You have four months to bring those grades up according to the school. If they’re not back up by the end of the winter break, you’ll give me your car keys until they are,” Matthew said.

“That’s not fair!” Alex cried. “That’s only six weeks!”

“I would assume between now and then, you’ll have at least one test in each class. And at least one paper. I expect As on those tests and papers. You’re smart, Alex. There’s no excuse for these grades,” Matthew replied. “You’ll be spending the Thanksgiving break studying.”

“I was going to hang out with Justin and Elton!” Alex complained.

“And now you’re going to spend it in your room, studying,” Matthew said. His tone left no room for argument. “Now get back to class.”

Alex looked at me for a minute, frowned and then looked at his father. He turned around and stormed away. Matthew watched him go, then turned to walk out of the school. I followed.

In the parking lot, Matthew turned on me.

“How could you let his grades get so low?” he growled at me.

“Me?” I asked, shocked at the accusation. “I’m not the student, Matthew.”

“You’re his mother, aren’t you? I don’t ask a lot of you, but keeping up with the kids’ education is kind of your job, Amelia! It’s not like you have much going on otherwise!”

“And you’re his father, Matthew,” I reminded him.

“I work, Amelia. I can’t keep up with their school issues and run a company. That’s your job. Remember? The kids are your job! How did you not realize his grades were slipping? Do you not talk with them,ever?”

“That’s not fair, and you know it. We have two teenagers. You spend hours with him on weekends playing catch, working on his technique, his batting, his throwing. Have you not discussed school with him at any point? When did all the responsibilities fall to me? Did you want me to become his father as well as his mother? Take all the responsibilities from you and you can just enjoy being praised for having good kids without putting in the effort?”

“Amelia, you are home every day with them. From now on, starting today, you are going to tutor Alex and help him get his grades up. If you can’t handle that, we’ll find a tutor,” Matthew said. He then checked his watch and rolled his eyes. “I have a meeting I’m going to be late for. I want to see those grades improve in the next six weeks, Amelia.”

He got into his car, started it and drove off before I had a chance to process what he’d just said. I felt like I was the one failing Law and Society and Social Studies. I stared after Matthew’s car as he drove out through the school gates. How had I become the villain in this story?

Sighing, I got into my own car and drove home.

“Good afternoon, Ms. Amelia,” Mrs. Watkins smiled at me as I came into the kitchen.

“Hi, Mrs. Watkins,” I said.

“How was the meeting at the school?” She asked. I sighed.

“It was fine. Alex’s grades are slipping a little, so we’re going to have to be more on top of him and make sure he’s studying. Or should I say I have to be more on top of him and make sure he’s studying?”

“Which classes?” Mrs. Watkins asked.

“Social Studies and Law and Society,” I sighed.

“Well, the law course should be easy enough for you to help him with,” she smiled. I offered a slight smile back.

“Will the children be home from school today as usual or do they have any practices?” Mrs. Tomlinson asked, coming into the kitchen. She never said hello, and she never addressed me by my name.

“Anna has swim practice, but Alex should be home at his usual time,” I said. She nodded and left the kitchen to go do whatever it is she does before the kids come home.

I don’t understand why we still have a nanny for sixteen year olds. We don’t even stay in the apartment in the city together anymore anyway. It’s been a while since I’ve stayed there. Just my cleaning visits every couple of weeks.

Yesterday I had gone to the apartment to throw out any of the food that had expired and to change the linens in the bedrooms. Matthew had been spending a few more nights a week there recently.

And I knew that he wasn’t spending those nights alone. Seline’s synthetic rose smelling perfume permeated the bedsheets.

I wasn’t surprised. I’d suspected he was having an affair with her for ages. Years, in fact. But I didn’t say anything. I never had any concrete proof. Just the fact that I’m not stupid, and I know that Davenport Industries is not in the process of any big merger or any big deals that would require Matthew to stay downtown. He was just choosing to spend the time in the apartment rather than come home. It wasn’t that I was accepting of what was going on literally right under my nose. It was that I just didn’t have it in me to fight about it anymore. The kids were 16. Another few years they’d be in college and once they graduated, I’d think about ending my marriage. I didn’t want to disrupt their lives more than necessary. Once they were out of school, once Matthew and I didn’t have to put on an act of a happily married couple in public, I would take my leave. Maybe go back to work. I had kept my license current and had taken courses to keep my knowledge current. The only thing I hadn’t done was practice law.

I was contemplating my life when the front door opened and slammed shut.

“Alex?” I called out, checking the time.

“What?” he called back.

“In the kitchen. Come here,” I said.

He slunk into the room looking annoyed.

“What?” he asked.

“Why didn’t you tell me, or your dad, you were having trouble with Social Studies and Law? We could have helped you before it got to us being called into a meeting about it.”

“Why do you even care?” he asked, accusatorily.

“Alex, of course I care. I’m your mother. I want you to be successful and I know you’re smart. It’s not like you to let your grades slip and not say anything,” I said. “Is it the coursework? Extracurriculars that are taking time away from studying?”

“It’s fine, Mom. I’ll figure it out,” he said.

“Let’s go over your law classwork together. I can help you,” I said. “Get your book out, and show me what you’re doing.”

Alex rolled his eyes but slunk into the kitchen, tossed his backpack on a chair and pulled out his Law and Society textbook. I smiled. It was the textbook I had written with my former professor and mentor back when the children were babies. It had taken a total of three years to research and write, get edited, updated, and then we’d had to produce an updated version about five years ago after a couple of legislative changes that the Supreme Court had made. Alex had the new version.

“I know this book,” I said. “I…”

“Yeah yeah. You used the same ancient textbook as we are. Blah blah. Here,” he said turning to the chapter his class was currently studying.

“Sit down,” I said, as I sat at the table and flipped through the chapter. It was an easy chapter on tort law. I asked to see his notes.

“I didn’t take any,” he said. “The class is boring.”

“But it’s an important class, Alex. If you don’t take notes during the class, how are you going to understand the concepts?”

“By reading?” he said, as though that were the most obvious thing.

“Sure, reading the text is fine, but what about the concepts behind the text? Doesn’t your teacher go deeper into the concepts?”

“I guess,” Alex mumbled, looking at his phone. He laughed, presumably at something a friend had sent.

“Can you please concentrate on this for now? Your dad is upset about your grades and unless you want to repeat the eleventh grade, you might want to put some effort in,” I frowned.

“What do you even know about this stuff?” Alex said, accusingly. “You’re a stay-at-home-mom. You can’t possibly understand this stuff.”

My jaw dropped. At no point in the past 16 years had Alex seen my law degree on the wall in my study? Did he think it was just a piece of art?

“Alex,” I started.

“Forget it,” he said, grabbing his textbook and backpack. “I can study this crap in my room. Google is a thing, you know. It knows more about this than you do, I’m sure.”

He stormed out of the kitchen, went upstairs and slammed his bedroom door. I stared after him.

I’d have Matthew talk to him tonight. Provided Matthew actually came home tonight.