Will You Be Sorry When I'm Gone?

Chapter 11

Present

The fire took two days for the fire department to control and another two before it was declared to be completely out. Once it was declared safe, the fire marshal’s office was able to begin investigating how it had started.

Meanwhile, my family was just starting to think that something might be seriously wrong.

When two full days and nights had passed with no word from me and my phone not going through, Matthew started to seriously begin to worry.

“Guys, you really haven’t heard anything from your mom since Sunday?” he asked the kids on Wednesday morning. He hadn’t gone into the office today.

“No,” Anna said. “Dad, it’s been two days. Shouldn’t she have at least texted someone by now?”

“You’d think,” Matthew said.

“Mom can’t be that pissed off,” Alex frowned. “I mean, yeah, we could have gone and gotten our drinks ourselves. I don’t even remember if we told her about them before the fireworks. I mean, we get them every year anyway, but she could have forgotten. She did get all the picnic stuff together and had everything else ready. But I can’t imagine that us leaving before she got home would make her so mad she hasn’t spoken to us for two days?”

Oh, Alex. I’m not mad. I never was. I was annoyed, sure. But I wasn’t mad. And even if I had been, you know I wouldn’t have gone this long without speaking to you guys. Not if I had any control over it.

But I didn’t have any control over what happened. I was driving carefully around the accident scene. It was the truck driver who was speeding, who hit me and forced my car through the barrier and down the embankment.

It was the multitude of injuries and the deep cut in my leg that caused me to bleed out. Probably some internal injury as well. It’s not like I got to see a doctor. It was the heat of the sun that caused the fire that ultimately consumed my car, my body, my phone. But the fire marshall’s office will start to investigate the fire soon. They’ll come across the burned out remnants of my car. Once they identify the car and its owner, they’ll search more. Eventually, they’ll find my body. Or, what’s left of it.

And eventually, they’ll find the charred remains of my cell phone.

But for now, even Matthew has to admit something isn’t right. He’s never known me to go this long without speaking to him. Even when I had every reason to stop talking to him, I never did. I might go a few hours without speaking to him because I was upset about something. Usually something related to Seline. But never a full day, let alone two.

Matthew had called my brother and sister again, and had even called his parents to see if they’d heard from me. His father reminded him that I would probably not have reached out to them before my own siblings. He also reminded Matthew not to take things for granted.

Anna, Alex and Matthew were all sitting in the kitchen, looking at their phones, trying to figure out who to try next. None of our friends had heard from me, as Matthew knew. But he had called them all anyway. He had checked with the golf club and the tennis club, asking if I had checked in at any point in the past few days. They ran my cards and said that no, I had not swiped in at any point since last Friday.

Anna called around to her friends who she knew I was on friendly terms with their mothers, but none of them had heard from me, either.

“Do either of you remember where Mom’s friend Callie works?” Matthew asked the kids. “Maybe we can call her there?”

“Did Callie give you her card or anything when we met her last month?” Alex asked. Matthew thought about it, pulled out his wallet and looked through it for a business card. Nothing.

“Let me check my study,” Matthew said, leaving the kitchen.

“I’m really worried, Alex,” Anna said to her brother. “It’s not like Mom to go silent like this. What if something happened to her?”

“Like what?” Alex asked. My son. Always an optimist. Always believing nothing bad could happen to any of us. He’d grown up in a life of comfort and privilege. He’d never known what it’s like to struggle, to worry about where his next meal was coming from. The biggest challenge he’d ever faced was deciding between St. Kitts and St. Bart’s for spring break. Everything had been handed to my children.

I had tried to raise them to understand that the world isn’t as easy for everyone as it is for them. Sometimes I thought they understood. But then, times like these, where my son couldn’t fathom anything bad happening to any of us, made me realize I’d neglected part of that duty to teach my children that the world isn’t built to cater to people.

“What if she got in an accident or someone kidn*pped her at the store?” Anna said, chewing on her thumbnail.

Anna had been a thumb sucker as a baby, and had required braces as a teenager. Now, when she was stressed, her thumb still found its way to her mouth, but she chewed on the nail rather than sucking on her thumb. It was a habit I’d tried to break her of, but I wasn’t there to catch it this time. Well, okay. I am there, but I can’t tell her to stop chewing on her thumbnail.

“Seriously, Anna? Where do you think we live? You think there are kidnappers waiting at convenience stores for people like Mom?” Alex said.

“What if she was in an accident?” Anna said.

“Mom’s a good driver,” Alex said. “Remember, she’s the one who taught us to drive.”

“I know,” Anna said. “But that doesn’t mean someone else who isn’t a good driver couldn’t have caused an accident.”

“If Mom had been in an accident, don’t you think a hospital would have called by now? She had her purse and phone and stuff. Wouldn’t they have checked her ID and called Dad?” Alex reasoned.

Anna sighed.

“Yeah. I guess so. That makes sense. I just… I don’t know, Alex. Something’s wrong. Don’t you feel it?” Anna said.

“Mom’s just having a temper tantrum because we made her go get the drinks we like before leaving for the fireworks, and she didn’t even bother to meet us there, or even to come home. It’s probably more than us just not waiting for her. She’s pissed about something else, probably, and she’s taking it out on all of us. Dad probably f****d up again,” Alex said.

“I don’t know, Alex,” Anna said. “Remember when Mom found out Aunty Seline went on that ‘business trip’ with Dad?”

Even Anna put air quotes around the words ‘business trip.’

“What about it?” Alex queried.

“Dad bought her the Miata because of it. And she didn’t disappear for two full days when she found out about her going with Dad. And even if she’s pissed at Dad, why hasn’t she answered either of us?” Anna asked.

Alex seemed to contemplate that. Anna was right. Even when I’ve been the most angry with their father, I would never ignore texts or calls from my children. Even if they were being unfair or rude to me.

“I dunno,” Alex said. “Maybe Mom found out something really bad. Maybe Aunt Seline is, like, pregnant or something. That would probably piss Mom off enough that she’d disappear for a couple of days.”

“She still wouldn’t ignore us,” Anna said. “And I’ve texted her every hour since Monday. Except when I’m asleep, obviously.”

Alex pulled off the baseball cap he was wearing and ran his hand through his hair. He looked every bit his father’s son when he did that. But that little scowl he sometimes wore on his face - when he was concentrating or contemplating - that was all me.

Matthew came back into the kitchen holding a small white and blue card.

“She did give me her business card,” he said.

“Dad, is Aunt Seline pregnant?” Alex asked. Matthew nearly choked on his own breath.

“What? Why would you ask me that?” Matthew frowned.

“Well, Mom’s been gone for two days. She’s never been so mad that she hadn’t spoken to you, or us, for two whole days. She wasn’t even this mad when she found out Aunt Seline went on that trip with you. But if she’s pregnant, Mom would be royally pissed at you, wouldn’t she?” Alex explained.

“Seline is not pregnant, as far as I know, and I don’t know why you would even think to ask me that,” Matthew argued.

“We’re not stupid, Dad. We know you and Aunt Seline stay at the apartment together sometimes. Mom probably does, too,” Alex said. Matthew blew out a breath.

“I can state for certain that Seline is not pregnant. And if she is, it’s not mine,” Matthew countered. Alex and Anna shared a look and then shrugged.

“Did you call Callie?” Anna asked.

“No. I thought I’d call her with you two here. That way I don’t have to repeat anything if she has any information,” Matthew said.

The three of them sat at the table while Matthew dialed Callie’s business number.

Mrs. Watkins watched quietly as she moved around the house taking care of her duties.

We had finally gotten rid of the nanny when the kids graduated from high school. But we’d kept Mrs. Watkins on, thankfully. She was often the only one in my corner, and while she couldn’t speak on my behalf, she was always there with a cup of tea and a kind word when the kids or Matthew had stomped all over my feelings.

Even Mrs. Watkins was worried. She hadn’t been able to reach me since Sunday night either.

Matthew put his phone on speaker while it rang through to Callie.

“Callie Anderson,” she answered.

“Hi, Callie,” Matthew said. “I don’t know if you’ll remember me, I’m Matthew Davenport. Amelia’s husband?”

“Oh, Matthew, right! Hi! How are you? How are your kids?”

“We’re doing alright, I suppose,” Matthew said. Both kids gave him the ‘hurry up’ motion. Enough with the pleasantries. Ask the important question, is what they were silently telling him.

“Listen, Callie, I was wondering if you’ve spoken to Amelia at all in the last couple of days. Since, maybe Sunday night?” he asked.

“Amelia? No. I haven’t. As a matter of fact, I texted her on Monday to ask if you guys wanted to get together this weekend, the two of you and Erika and I. She never got back to me. Why? Haven’t you spoken to her? She is your wife after all,” Callie said.

“I haven’t heard from her, either,” Matthew said. “We had a little spat on Sunday night, and she didn’t come home, but it’s been two days now, and neither the kids nor I, nor any of our friends have heard from her. She hasn’t been to the city apartment, she hasn’t been to the golf or the tennis clubs, she hasn’t used our credit cards, her passport is still here - I checked - and she hasn’t even reached out to the kids.”

“What about her brother and sister?” Callie asked.

“They haven’t seen or heard from her either,” Matthew said.

“Well, if she’s so pissed off at you that she hasn’t been home in two days, don’t you think her brother or sister would be covering for her? They’re really close, you know,” Callie said.

“They swear they aren’t covering for her. And Kieran is starting to get angry that we still haven’t found out anything. And you know how he feels about me,” Matthew said.

“I do. What about Alecia? She’d probably cover for both of them,” Callie said.

“That’s true,” Matthew agreed. “I just get the feeling she’s not hiding Amelia. And besides, she couldn’t be holding a grudge against the kids, too, could she? She wouldn’t do that to them.”

“No,” Callie said, contemplatively. “You’re right. She’s not petty like that. If she’s mad at you, she’s not going to take it out on the kids. And I can honestly say I haven’t heard from her, nor have I seen her. Two days is a long time for someone like Amelia to stay quiet.”

“That’s what has me the most concerned. Even when she’s been the most angry with me, she’s never gone this long. And her phone isn’t going through.”

“Let me try her and I’ll call you back. Is this number alright?” Callie said.

“Yes,” Matthew said. “This number is fine. Thanks.”

“No problem. If I do get a hold of her, I’ll tell her to reach out to at least one of you, okay?” Callie said.

“Perfect, thanks,” Matthew said and hung up. He sighed and rubbed his face with his hands. Alex and Anna looked on worriedly.

“What do we do if Callie can’t find Mom?” Anna asked.

“I don’t know, sweetheart,” Matthew said.

“Hello?” Seline’s voice called out through the entry. Alex and Anna frowned as Seline breezed into the kitchen, laden with bags from the deli we liked.

“Seline?” Matthew asked. “What are you doing here? And why do you keep letting yourself into my house?”

“Matty,” Seline said. “You said I’m welcome whenever I want.”

“I thought you’d know that you should call before you just show up,” Matthew said.

“I just thought you might be focussed on figuring out where Amelia is. Have you managed to track down the old roommate?” Seline asked. “Is she staying there?”

Matthew watched as Seline unloaded the bags onto the table. She’d brought tuna and cream cheese, bagels, a small cake, some cookies, smoked salmon and a vegetable platter.

“What is all this?” Matthew asked.

“I know, I know. But I figured you guys were probably concentrating on finding Amelia, I thought maybe some brain food was in order. Call me crazy, but whenever my mom was stressed, or someone in the family was dealing with something, she always brought food. So, I brought brunch. Eat up!”

“This isn’t a party, Seline. This isn’t a Sunday brunch. My wife is missing. Do you not understand that?”

“Of course I understand that, Matty,” Seline said. “That’s why I brought comfort food.”

“Seline, answer me honestly. Are you pregnant?” Matthew asked. “Are you? And did you somehow manage to tell Amelia, or let her think you are, and that it’s mine?”

Seline stared at Matthew with a look that even I couldn’t decipher.

“Pregnant? Are you kidding?” Seline asked.

“No. I am not. Are you pregnant and did you somehow convince Amelia that it’s mine?”

“Matthew Davenport, I am not pregnant. And if I were, it certainly would not be yours,” she looked over at the kids.

“Dad,” Alex said. “What about Uncle Roger? We haven’t even tried calling him.”

“She wouldn’t go to Uncle Roger,” Matthew said.

Roger was Matthew’s younger brother. The ‘spare’ as he had so nicely described his brother when we were in college. I had only met Roger three times. Our wedding and twice at my in-laws’ when he happened to be in town. Roger pretty much lived off the dividends his share of the company made for him. He travelled wherever and whenever he wanted and didn’t even keep a house or an apartment here. He’d crash with friends or stay with his parents when he was in town for a while. Sometimes he’d use our apartment downtown if he didn’t anticipate staying very long. Roger didn’t really have a place that I could go.

“But shouldn’t we try him?” Anna asked.

“He’s in Thailand, last I heard,” Matthew said.

The doorbell rang.

“What now?” Matthew asked, getting up and going to answer the door.

“Where’s my sister, asshole?” Kieran said, pushing his way inside.

“I told you, I don’t know. She hasn’t called, texted, emailed, nothing,” Matthew said.

“What the f**k did you do that she’s been gone for two days, Matthew?” Kieran asked.

“Me? I didn’t do anything! Not so bad that she should still be this mad!” Matthew defended himself.

He’s right, Kieran. He actually is innocent in this for the most part. I mean, if I hadn’t had to go out and get those specific drinks from that specific store, I wouldn’t have been on the highway and I wouldn’t have gotten into an accident. But Matthew can’t be blamed for that. He didn’t cause either of the accidents.

“How did you get here?” Matthew asked. “The highway’s been closed for two days.”

“It’s open now. They got control of the fire. It’s out. Or contained, anyway,” Kieran said, shrugging.

Matthew sighed.

“I honestly have no idea where your sister is, Kieran,” Matthew said. “She hasn’t answered anyone’s texts, phone calls, emails, she hasn’t used her credit cards, she hasn’t used the bank card, her phone goes straight to voicemail for everyone. I don’t care if she’s mad at me. But she hasn’t even responded to any of the kids’ texts.”

“That’s not like Amelia,” Kieran frowned. “She’s never been the petulant or petty sort. She might get mad enough she won’t talk to you for a few hours, but two days?”

“Exactly,” Matthew said. “I’ve spoken to everyone I can think of that we know, and no one has seen or heard from her since Sunday at the latest.”

Kieran frowned when he walked into the kitchen with Matthew and saw Seline sitting at the table with the kids.

“Cozy,” he said. “Are you sure you’re really trying to reach Amelia?”

“She just showed up with bagels,” Matthew said. “I didn’t invite her.”

Kieran knew my issues with Seline. We’d had many sibling nights where we’d aired our grievances about our relationships and given each other advice.

“Hi Uncle Kieran,” Alex said.

“Hey guys,” he said. “How are you holding up?”

The kids shrugged.

What else could they say?