The doubt of Love

The day had just began and I already wanted to be anywhere except here; with my morning having started out with a phone call/lecture from my love-struck mother, whom made it obvious that she was becoming rather worried about my love life (or lack thereof) and my need to procreate before my built-in body clock timed out. The elevator pinged, alerting me of its arrival. Walking into the shaft was difficult seeing as the already small space had been filled with two hulking male figures, both of whom had gone quiet as the doors slid open. I was aware of their eyes on my body as I pressed my floor and waited. The silence was nice, therefore of course it had to be disrupted by hulking mass number 1. "Which floor are you headin' to?" His gruff voice swam around the space, filling it with the smell of his overly smelly breakfast, my nose wrinkled. "The only other floor that's lit up." I said coldly, looking hard at the glowing number 3, as though my burning stare would scare the lift into climbing up faster. Hulking mass number 2 chuckled, moving closer to me, "No need to be so crass honey, we're just trying to make good conversation." His arms brushed my waist causing me to step closer to the door, finally the light above shined a red 3 before opening. Walking off of the elevator I could hear their snickers, as well as their mumbled profanities as their stares pierced my back, before I could even make it a dozen steps out I could already hear what appeared to be a heated argument coming from the direction of my office; I almost stepped back into the dreadful elevator except HM1&2 were watching me still, their eyes going between me and the loud hallway. I could see their smirks growing as I decided to try my luck with the fight. I was unsurprised that the voices gradually became louder the closer I got to my office, this was a normal sign that my clients were indeed on time. As I opened the door my eyes locked on the rather large man and woman screaming at each other. Their faces a surprising tomato red, the two slang insults at each other; it was a verbal tennis match and the husband had just done his mighty serve, which came in the form of a viscous jab at the woman's figure. She easily volleyed the conversation back towards him with a snide comment regarding his pleasuring ability. In the middle of the two sat a little girl, she couldn't be older than 12, with bright turquoise eyes and brown ringlets that hung around her shoulders like a blanket; shielding her from the craze before her. The poor thing looked terrified, her watery eyes turned towards the sound of the door opening and closing with the two adults following suit as they finally recognized my presence. I walked past the couple, whose voices were now pooling around the room as they attempted to apologize for the others behavior; without even waiting for the onslaught of blame there was sure to be, I ushered the two into the seats they'd precariously deposited their frightened child into in the midst of their verbal bashings. My eyes go to the girl, who's eyes returned to the floor; she shouldn't be here. Hell, she doesn't want to be here. Opening my bottom drawer I took out a candy bar, it was the last one in my stash but I could buy more; she, however, was stuck in her situation for a good while more. Her eyes flickered up quickly, catching sight of the wrapper before fleeing quickly; my eyes turned towards her parents, whereas her father looked at his daughter as though he were about to open the candy and feed it to the girl, her mother looked revolted at the gesture. My eyes narrowed. "Good morning Winslows, fancy seeing you both here so early." I began, my voice coming out cold, "though, I could've sworn we agreed that that would no longer be the case seeing as neither of you can stand the sight of the other." Usually my overall patience with this couple was charitably high, however the sight of the child mixed with my shitty morning equated to a rather short tether that they'd, sadly, already severed before my morning coffee had even been delivered. M(r)s. Winslow stood to her feet, letting out a small indignant grunt as she did so; though in her defense they might have also been signs of pain caused by the open-toed shoes she was wearing, one of which was being so overrun with foot that her toes gently caressed the dark carpet. The girl jumped slightly, her eyes jumping from her mother's toe prints on the floor to her eyes and back again. "Well had you been on time," she began, her nasally voice slashed at my eardrums like leatherface would a fresh corpse, "we would not have had to've been in each other's presence." Her still pink face slowly began creeping back towards the array of red hues it had once been. I had half the mind to remind her whose office we were currently sitting (well in her case kind of standing) in, as well as remind her exactly which one of us needed the other's service. The other half told me to stomp her ugly ass toes into the carpet and hope it passed for abstract art. However there was a miniscule part of me, almost so small I could've ignored it had I not remembered that my phone bill was due, that reminded me that she was indeed my client. Sadly. "Marissa, we both know that I do not get to my office before 7am on the dot, if you decided to come earlier that was a choice you should've reconsidered." My voice glided around the room effortlessly, the young girl looked at me again, this time through her curtain of warm brown hair. It looked as though she was peering at me through a crack in the depths of the earth, each curly strand rippled beautifully as her head bobbed up and down once more, my hand pushed the Butterfinger across the desk towards her. Her mothers obnoxious throat began making its noises once more, her dreadful voice was like nails on a chalkboard, I began recounting their case. Mr. and Mrs. Edgar Winslow, he was an Austrian immigrant who came to the US sometime in the early 90's riding on the back of his family's small fortune-turned-billions. His short stocky frame went well with his Arborvitae-like mustache. Whereas her family had migrated from Guatemala generations ago to start up one of the most distinguished wineries in the Pacific Northwest. Both had met in their prime and assumed that the other would, financially, make the perfect spouse, and therefore would be everything they'd need to succeed in a happy marriage. However, they had not accounted for a dual infidelity. With Mr. Winslow having met a nice younger man to settle down with, after years of what I would assume would be torture; and Mrs. Winslow having taken a knack of hiring her flings to strip down more than just the beds, if you know what I'm implying. Her thick dark hair was wrapped in a chignon that looked as though it had torn a few strands out with how tight it was. Her hips bumped anything within her reach as well as her flailing arms. She was the equivalent to a real life Duchess from Monster House, though sadly instead of a house she'd settled for haunting my office every Tuesday and Friday. "-o even offer MY child such filth, she obviously doesn't need that junk in her diet!" I tuned back into the conversation just in time for me to hear Marissa exclaim, I almost laughed but was able to disguise it within a cough. I wanted so badly to test her reasonings and logic; so I did! "And why is that?" My voice was smooth as ice and crystal clear, yet the woman before me looked at me as though I were a talking animal that she'd had the misfortune of teaching the human language to. Though I doubt she'd have enough brain cells to say a sensible sentence, let alone be an efficient and coherent tutor. I watched in amusement as her gob opened and shut as she attempted to pull out an acceptable response from within that pea she called a brain. My smile remained frozen in place as I continued to stare in pure awe at the sheer incompetence that oozed from the woman before me. A cynical part of me wanted to completely break down her pompous facade, reminding her of the mass amounts of unsolicited debt that she had wracked up, which factored into the slow, yet steady deterioration of not only her family's winery, but also the couple's shared assets. However, I had already started the day out with a headache, there was no point in risking aggravating my already sensitive noggin, so instead I decided it would be easiest to just let it go. "Moving on," My voice broke through her last attempt of covering the ass she'd been so careless to show, "Have you both reviewed your existing resources?" I asked, taking on my usual calm and professional aura. The ex-couple once again began to talk, their voices clashed horrendously as the volumes increased; both taking a strong disliking towards the others intrusion. This is gonna be a long ass day. I thought as I began massaging either side of my temples. ¤¤¤¤¤ The busy streets opened up around me as I finally exited my firm around the 8 o'clock. The chilly New York winds pulled at my skirt and jacket as I walked towards the subway, the night sky had been set ablaze by the vast amounts of billboards and displays, each trying to sell you their own brand of perfection. Keeping my pace brisk, it was easily a short fifteen to twenty minute walk and soon I was walking down the steps, into the vast underground networks. According to the overhead, either my train was going to be delayed or the turmoil in France had reached its peak; I decided to take my chances with the former and retreated to the least grimey corner I could find. Huddling there, I made sure to keep my eyes peeled for the right car to come and take me to my sweet, sweet home where a delicious glass of Pinot Grisio waited for me by the bath. An audible sigh of longing escaped my lips before I could help it, looking around I noticed there was nobody close to me for me to even worry about. On the strip along with me were a couple of men in formal suits and worn-down loafers, what appeared to be a young pregnant woman who was idly walking between the lines, as if lost in her own little world, and a large figure dressed in a full body trench coat. My eyes lingered on him for a bit before I reached into my bag and brought out my phone. I'd heard stories of flashers from my older sister and the internet but had never encountered one in my life, nor did I want to now. Thoughtlessly I scrolled through my apps looking for the little green phone icon, pressing it I quickly dialed the number 3 and the pound key and brought my phone to my ear. The phone rang for a while, so much so that I almost considered hanging up and redialing, before the line finally picked up, the sounds of heavy breathing filled my ears filling me with concern. "Tami, is that you?" I asked fearfully. I didn't know what I would do if it wasn't, its not like I was much of a fighter; I had been in all of one fight in my entire life, and hadn't even known it was a fight until the other girl knocked me out. My sister's doomed. Dread began to fill my body as I began planning out her funeral, She'd always said she'd want blue rose on her wedding, maybe they'd be appropriate for her casket? Tears began to well in my eyes as I pictured my beautiful older sister dressed up in her black gown and tucked away in a red oak casket. Or maybe she'd want to be cremate- my thought were interrupted by a voice piping up. "Yea girl, who else would it be, stupid? Now wassup?" Tami said, still outta breath. My eyes narrowed as I took the phone away from my ear to glare at it, and her through it. I was really finna plan a beautiful funeral for yo ass? My face scrunched up in a grimace as I heard her voice speak out through the receiver. "Hello? Helllloooo?? Did she hang up?" I heard her ask herself, causing me to bring my phone back to my ear quickly. "No, I didn't fuckin hang up," I retorted snarkily. "I was just stuck by how disrespectful you are sometimes." Her banshee screech of a laugh sounded through my phone causing me to wince. "Dammit Tam! You tryna make me deaf now too?" I asked her, the question only sent her into another round of screeches. I should've called Vanessa. I thought, finally remembering that I had a friend. I was about two seconds from hanging up and going with my better plan when another voicee sounded through the phone causing me to freeze. "Tami?" I asked calmly, my voice came out small, despite myself. "Yeah?" She asked, her voice the same small, calm tone. "Please tell me," I began, taking a breath to calm myself, "that I did not interrupt one of your d**k appointments." My voice was leveled as I waited for her to reassure me that her breathless nature was from her new Zumba class she'd told me about, and not from her being bent over some flat surface of my home; which I was for sure on my way to now. "Uhhmm?" Her rat pitched voice came through, "Y-you didn't interrup-" "You better disinfect everything yall touched." I jumped in, stopping her before she could even repeat what I'd said, the tears that had filled my eyes for this wainch had now evaporated and was replaced with a visible twitch. I can't fight, but imma whoop yo ass. As if hearing my thoughts through the phone she gave a simple "fair," and hung up. Rubbing the twitch outta my eye I dialed the number 2 and the pound sign, before bringing it up to my ear, this time the phone rang for a considerably less time before it was picked up and the calming tone of my beastie flowed into my ears. "Hey girl, wassup?" Vanessa asked brightly, I rolled my eyes thinking back to the rude ass greeting I'd gotten from my own flesh and blood. "Hey, guess what the hell Tami ass is doin," I began, smiling at the responding laugh that answered me at her prodding I began to delve into the whole situation with my easily spread sister and even further to the reason why I'd even began calling, I found myself relaxing into the corner as I awaited my train. When it finally came, I shuffled up to the doors; my leg had fallen asleep a few minutes ago so the pins and needles were still very much prevalent as I sat on the bench, and watched the tunnel walls speed past. By now me and Vanessa were just talking about our day and catching up on events since we'd last hung out together. She'd just told me of some club that we could meet at the coming weekend when my stop came up. Thankfully, I'd succeeded my trip with no unsolicited penile exposure and I was now ready to walk the rest of the small fifteen blocks to get to my apartment, or I was until a car pulled up next to me. I eyed the vehicle warily as it slowly followed close by me, it was an older version of an impala; the only reason I knew that was because I had bought myself a car quite similar to it not long after I'd first gotten the job only to have it T-boned not even a month afterward, I missed my car at times like this, with a sudden burst of confidence I stopped in my tracks and turned to face the shithead that thought it was OK to bother me. The tinted black windows of the car rolled down slowly revealing a greasy looking, middle aged man with graying skin and gold grill in his mouth. He flashed his teeth in what apparently was a smile before his voice rang out. "Where ya goin' sweetheart?" His thick Boston accent sent chills of disgust down my back, now don't get me wrong, there's nothing wrong with a little accent, but the way he spoke made him sound as though he'd been rejected for a role in the Godfather II. I could hear Vanessa's voice on the other end, trying to get my attention as I stared at the man for a beat. Suddenly I address Vannessa. "Gimme two secs, I gotta rat here that's stuck in my way, and you know how much I hate pests. " Her end was quiet for a moment before she burst out laughing. The man looked at me as though he'd not heard a word, so I moved a step closer to his window and made sure to bend down so that I was eyelevel with the motherfucker. "Look here sweetcheeks," I began, making sure to emphasize the cheeks. "I'm not sure how much this white creeper van technique has been working for ya, but I suggest you move along before I send my foot so far into your balls that your kids grandkids will have a permanent indent in their scrotum. Kay?" I ended brightly flashing my teeth in an animalistic way before continuing down the road at a slightly faster pace. Behind me I heard his spew out a list of profanities before he sped by me, blaring his horn as he went. As I neared my apartment I felt my sense of dread build back up, Maybe I should circle the block again, I thought, reminiscing on the short phone conversation between me and my sister. But the feeling of the wind going up my skirt and blowing at Ms. Kitty down below, had me shuffling up the steps and through the door. I hope she got whoever the hell it was out. I thought as I climbed the stairs painfully slow, my feet dragged as I allowed myself to warm up in the temperate area of the stairs. My front door greeted me with a mat that I'd had specially made, "Are you sure you wanna be here?" It asked. Yes! My keys turned in the lock allowing me to enter the small hall that led into my living area. Taking my shoes off by the door, I hesitantly made my way to the kitchen, looking at every surface hard before allowing my hands to touch it. Nothing looks disheveled. I noted, looking around my small loft space, the blue-gray two-seater couch sat humbly in front of an off white coffee table and matching TV stand. In the corner of the room sat a circular marble table that I'd turned into a seat by adding a cushion on top and hot gluing a wicker back to. Footsteps sounded down the halls as the short body of my older sister bounded to me. She jumped up, wrapping her legs around me and dragging me onto the couch. The string of swears that flowed from my mouth would be enough for our Granny to take me and bend her over her lap. But this little b***h ain't granny! My mind screamed as I continued to call her every word i could think of, hell I'd started making up new ones at that point by mashing my favorite ones into conjunctions. Her laugh echoed around the room as she hugged me hard, allowing herself to flop to one side of the couch as she embraced me. "Hey sissy!" She beamed, reaching around me to grab the remote from off of the coffee table and turn on a rerun episode of The Bad Girl's Club. "You better have showered." I said before shifting slightly, hoping to find a more comfortable position to lay as she moved to lay opposite me with her legs sat atop mine. She snorted as we let the episode take our minds away from our apartment and into the mansion. We'd just finished dinner and was halfway through our third episode when I decided to lift my spirits just a little more. Running over to my cabinets I opened my desired one and grabbed my item before turning to the drawer. Rummaging through it for a bit I clicked my tongue as I continued searching for my tool. Sighing in defeat I turned away from the drawer, and instead turned my sights towards the heavens, or as most people call it, the refrigerator. I had been especially proud when I brought this bad boy home, set up with an ice maker and a digital screen that showed me the inside contents of this beautiful box. I felt my heart crack as I stared at the empty space. Where the f**k is my Pinot??