Many Words In Silence

Chapter 18

I regretted not going after Timothy. I didn’t think that he loved me in any manner, but there was something that drew us together. I could have taken him home with me, but there was no way I wanted to get into trouble either. It was a difficult decision to say the least. So I decided to put Timothy out of my mind and work on a plan to get home.

Elijah: Hi Lucy. Plz pick up the phone. Need 2 talk 2 u.

I pressed send for the umpteenth time and waited for the message to go through. Within a minute I could see that she had read the text, but she still wasn’t coming back to me.

Elijah: U were right bout Fynn. He’s a real @hole. Text me back. Or phone me. Plz!!!

I could see her typing on the other side, and then it stopped. I waited a full ten minutes in which time I went to the bathroom and made myself a cup of coffee. I was still waiting for her text or a call, or something at least.

Elijah: Plz come get me. I need 2 get home. H8 this place.

This time I didn’t need to wait that long.

Lucy: Stop texting! On my way 2 u. Felt bad. Text me ur location.

My heart was in my throat. She didn’t forget about me after all! She was on her way to come and get me, and she did it without me even having to ask her.

Elijah: Meet me @ the coffee shop where u left me.

It had only been a few days but it felt like I had been stuck in this town forever. And even though I thought it would have healed me, it actually brought on even more questions and heartache. At the same time it almost felt like the heartache of the past has been replaced by all the new this that was making me want to cry.

This was the end of the journey for me. The end of everything. I knew I finally had to leave Blake behind me, and in my mind’s eye I could see myself going to him at his grave and telling him that I was finally moving on. Unfortunately I know I had already done that, many times before. If I could count the many times I had said goodbye to him, I would not have enough fingers on my two hands. It was time for me not to go back to him and say goodbye in that way. It was time for me to leave him behind – no explanation other than knowing it would be better for me. I would still go back to him every now and again. Make sure he has flowers, but I could never ‘be’ with him again. Too much has happened. I have kissed his brother. I have slept with another guy. I did not belong to him anymore. He would always be my first, but he would not be my last anymore.

Everything was changing and it was changing fast. And it scared the living s**t out of me.

As I walked down the road, the bag of clothing I had with me swinging on my back, I could not help but think that this was possibly the same road that Timothy ran down as he was fleeing away from me. I never in my life would have guessed that someone would have been fleeing away from me someday. I have fled away from many people in the past – even from Blake. But I was the type of person who never hurt others. Not if I could help it. If only Blake was anything like Timothy he would have fled away from me for good and he would still be alive. But I know I can’t think about it that way anymore. I cannot keep on comparing what might have happened with Blake. It was over now. I have made the decision. It was time to put him behind me and move on with my life.

As the coffee shop drew into view I hoped that Timothy would be there. That he would be ready to serve me my morning coffee and maybe even a piece of toast. I needed to make sure he was okay. I wanted to make sure that before I left that he would not be sleeping somewhere on the street or doing something stupid for a roof over his head. I could only imagine what he must have been doing. There was no way that tips from a relatively quiet coffee shop was enough to rent a decent place. But I tried my very best not to think of what he was doing for some extra cash.

I however didn’t see Timothy as I turned into the coffee shop. I looked at a abstract blob of pink running toward me from a seat in the back.

“My Gay-Giggle!!!” Lucy yelled as she body slammed into me, making me lose my balance and land on my behind with her in her many shades of pink on top of me.

“Please tell me you are not hiding a Chihuahua in your purse,” I mumbled out one of our private jokes. I liked to liken her to a younger Paris Hilton. She liked to remind me that I was way too gay to function without her.

“Let’s get going,” she said as she stood up and held out her hand to me. I didn’t take it. I knew Lucy better than taking her hand. The chance that she would ever help someone in a physical way without it being a joke was slim.

“I just need to do something first,” I said, and then; “Don’t you need coffee to function first in any case?”

“Nope. I have another stop to make and I would really like to be back home before the sun goes down. I don’t like it when the boogie man comes out,” she said with a smile on her face.

“You don’t believe in the boogie man, and even if you did it the many shades of pink you are wearing would scare the boogie man away,” I bantered with her.

“You’re just jealous that you would never look as good in pink as I do,” she answered. I was feeling better. The fake fighting we did made my life seem normal again.

“I would never be jealous of someone who could pull of the Umbridge look as good as you do,” I snickered as I turned my back to her and walked over to the counter where a woman was sitting reading a magazine. Seriously, you could not really complain about the service in this town, since there wasn’t any service to start out with.

“Sorry,” I said to the woman, making her look up from her magazine and grunt at me. When I was sure that I had her attention, I asked; “Is Timothy working today?”

“Yeah… Coming in at five,” she grunted again. She made me think of a pig in a way, grunting behind the counter that was too small to hide her massive body.

“Thanks,” I said with a sigh as she went back to her magazine.

I looked around the shop one last time, scanning the area as though Timothy might be there somewhere, waiting on a table of ghosts, but all I saw was a shocking arrangement of pink in the form of my oldest and best friend.

“We can go now,” I mumbled as I turned my back to her once more and walked out of the shop, Lucy following behind me as if I was the one who owned a Chihuahua.

“One stop and then we can go home,” she said as she climbed into the front seat of what I assumed was a brand new pink Mercedes Benz.

“New wheels?” I asked as I hopped over the door of the convertible, throwing my backpack into the backseat.

“Daddy dearest,” she mumbled.

“Did I miss your birthday or something?” I asked her, wondering why her dad would now finally buy her the car she has been nagging him about for almost two years.

“He has decided to divorce my mother and buy my love. Same horrible story as the rest of my miserable life. The only upside is that I will look fabulous being miserable unlike that homeless dude over there,” Lucy said as she pointed to an obviously homeless man two shops away from us.

“You truly are a terrible person and I am judging you severely right now,” I said, revering to her statement of the homeless man. “You should feel sorry for him.”

“People who judge are jealous in most cases, so be careful what you judge me for.”

There was a truth in that statement. I was still judging what she had said, but I could not deny that I was jealous of her speaking her mind so easily, not minding who she was hurting or who she might offend. Just being herself and not giving a s**t about what anybody else was thinking about her.

“So where is the last stop before we head home?” I asked.

“Llaluna…” she said as she started the car and revved it. “It’s time for that b***h to pay.”

***

I was sure that I would never see the pink door of Llaluna’s house in front of me ever again, and yet here I was standing once more. It could not help but wonder why Lucy and Llaluna didn’t get along better since both was obviously obsessed with the most annoying colour on earth. I had to hold myself in not to run away, but I kept standing there, ready to support Lucy in which ever crazy idea she was having now.

“Why do you want to see her?” I whispered to Lucy as if Llaluna would be able to hear me through the door if I raised my voice with just a little bit.

“Because I’m not done with the b***h yet,” Lucy said as she knocked on the door, loudly, sealing our fate.

“Just leave it Lucy. She’s not worth it. Seriously… No matter what you say, she will never change. She will always be a miserable old bitch.”

As the word ‘b***h’ left my mouth the door opened to reveal Llaluna standing there in all her glory, her bathrobe folded around her body, the hair still a blond mess as if she has not combed it in days. And there, around her neck was my locket. The one that held the only remains I had to remember Blake by.

I had to fight the urge not to jump her and rip the precious locket from her neck.

“Who are you calling a b***h?” Llaluna asked, hatred flashing through her cold, blue eyes.

“You,” Lucy answered before I could even say a word. “And I am here to tell you exactly what type of low-life b***h you really are. Believe me when I tell you, my little Elijah put it lightly. Now invite me in before I make sure this entire street knows what a piece of s**t you really are.”

I could not believe that Lucy had said that out loud, but then again it was exactly what I was thinking and wanted to do with all my heart. Yet I also knew that I would never have the guts to do what she had just done.

“You are not welcome here,” Llaluna said, pushing the door closed in our faces but Lucy was too fast for her.

“You are gonna hear what I have to say, whether you let me in or not,” Lucy said as she threw herself to the door, bumping Llaluna and making her stumble backward. “Now are you gonna invite me in or not?”

“You have ten minutes and then you better leave forever. I never want to see you again,” Llaluna said as she moved away from the door, letting Lucy and I in her door.