A Lady With Eyes of A Tiger

The glimmering shine of the sun through the window brushes my boney cheek exposing the dark spots that has conquered my foreheads finding its way through my temple down to my cheeks. The half opened window of the room made the morning breeze waft through the room, making my body shiver. It’s Monday, the day I would rather say the black Monday, because it is the end of my weekend which is literally the only time I got for myself. “Nina get up, its late!” mom shouts roaming through the kitchen which is just beside my room. Even if the wind through the window is dancing through my comfort brushing my bare skin disturbingly, I couldn’t afford to wake up and let go all the heat I have accumulated for like the whole night. WAKE UP! The sound fades like a murmur. NO,NO, NO my exhausted body replied to the command of my mind. My body knew that it has to obey to my mind, stand up refresh and start the week like you have done for nearly eighteen years and run all brand new boring week. “What is wrong with you?” I stand up from the bed watching her annoyed figure with my half opened eye. She looks irritated as she moves past my bed towards my drawer. What is with her know, why is she scattering my clothes on the ground like she is searching for something too important but hidden into her miserable daughters drawer. “What are you looking for?” she didn’t answer but her back was tense which frightened my wary mind. Did she hear something bad about me? Did those monsters that I had got into trouble with say something to her? Did they tell her that I am…….. “What has got into your mind dear?” my heart stops its beat. I feel that everything under the sunlight sinks down to darkness. I went silent like I was made mute by a remote controller. I should tell her the whole damn thing that has been going in my life ever since that cursed night, cause sooner or later she will find out everything I have been hiding under my skin. Now or later, she will hear the secret I disguised under my smiley face, the false reasons I always give her to cover my late night jobs at the underground boxing circuit which is obviously illegal fighting place, the lies I told her when she asked me where I got those faint purple bruise on my arms, why I couldn’t sleep at night but sleep like a dead person even if the sun is filling my room with its glorious presence holding a deep metaphor that announce the beginning of new day and new hope which my body perceives as a soothing lullaby. “Is there anything that’s bothering you? How come you forget about your college interview?” she seems worried when she sits at the edge of my bed facing me, and holding the ocean blue sun dress she was searching inside my drawer. Thank God! I felt relaxed, she didn’t find out. I wish I could spill every thought my tiny soul has graved, I wish I could say it out loud and get my little by little dying heart an ease, I wish things were simple in real life like they are in movies, miracles happening suddenly out of nowhere putting wide smile on the person’s face or like the child spitting the truth to his mom and mother saying “baby am glad you’re safe, but don’t ever do that again” kind of cliché. In my case if she finds out her blood pressure rise up than it is now which is enough for the grim reaper to take her life out of her worn out body, which suffered a lot to carry, deliver, and raise me for years. I can see from here that her hair is thinning and wrinkles are forming around her eyes. “Sorry mom I forgot” I whisper. The truth is I didn’t, in fact since Berry College is near home and all my troubles; I am working hard to avoid getting in. There is nothing painful in this world than lying someone you love. One lies gives birth to another continuing like a chain, it is so difficult at first and became even more when you have to live with it. “You know the work load is driving me crazy and I am studying late night frequently that’s why.” I lied but what else can I say, ‘I’m a criminal mom,’ that’s ridiculous and deadly at the same time. “But don’t worry okay, I got it under control.” I just smile comfortingly to hide my throbbing pulse while standing up from my bed and gush out of my room. “Just be careful and know the limits,” she shouted from my back. Limits huh, if I had followed my mom’s warning from the beginning, I wouldn’t have gotten into this kind of mess. But I didn’t because I was deaf others might say it is being independent, grown up, decision making, choice, free will, blah blah blah but for me I would rather use the term deafness. My phone buzzed under my pocket. I flushed the toilet water and took my phone out. I shivered at the sight of the name on my screen. RUSSELL: TODAY IS THE DAY