A WHIRLWIND OF COLOR

26

“I really did that? Why? I don’t understand how I could risk everything for something so ridiculous.”

“Love isn’t ridiculous, Penny.”

“Fine, but I couldn’t have loved him right away. I risked everything for what? Lust? A teenage fantasy?”

“I don’t think so. I think it was love at first sight.”

I laughed.

“You’re bitter because all you remember is Austin and how he treated you. But Penny, James is a great guy. He was this mysterious, uber sexy, older man that was completely and utterly unattainable. I can see why you lost all reason around him.”

“But having s*x with my professor?” My voice was hushed even though it was just the two of us. “I would never ever do that.”

“I don’t know what to tell you. You did.”

“I like to follow rules, Melissa. And that’s so against every rule in the book. Not to mention I hate upsetting my parents. I would never do something so reckless. People don’t just change overnight.”

“You did. You just…you met him and things changed. You both pushed each other’s boundaries. And you both grew together.”

“He didn’t need to do any growing. He was already a grown up.”

“You were almost 20 when you met. You were basically a grown up too.”

I sighed. “I just…I don’t understand how I could be so madly in love with him that I’d ruin the rest of my life. James and I have nothing in common. We’re not exactly two pieces of the same puzzle. I’m not even sure I like him, let alone love him. We don’t fit. He’s not my person.”

“You do fit. And your life wasn’t ruined. Look around, Penny. Your life is amazing.”

“I want to go back to Newark.”

Melissa sighed. “James was right, you’re not even trying.”

“Whose side are you on here?”

“Yours. Of course yours. But the thing you’re not understanding is that James is your world. He’s what makes you happy. He means everything to you.”

“I’m not even sure he’s my type.”

She laughed. “Then what is your type?”

“I don’t know…blue eyes, dirty blonde hair.”

Melissa’s eyes bulged slightly. “You never told me that before.”

I shrugged. “Well, if I’m thinking about it…that’s my type. Like…lifeguard-esque. And funny and carefree. And you know…closer to my age.” All the opposite things as James.

“That’s extremely interesting, Penny.”

“Why?”

She just stared at me and shook her head. “Well, how would you feel if I told you that you passed up that exact person you described in order to be with James? Would that convince you of how much you like him?”

“You mean I dated someone else before James? Someone just like that?”

“You did.”

“Well, I’d say I don’t believe you. Because obviously I would have chosen to be with him over James.”

“Penny, everyone loves tall, dark, and handsome.”

“I don’t. I want young and fun and blonde.”

“Shut up.” Her words came out harsh, like she was pissed at me. “I’m sorry, I…” her voice trailed off. She set her cup down on the coffee table. “Penny, you dated them off and on at the same time. And it was always James. You even made a pro-con list and everything pointed to Tyler. But you chose James anyway. You’re head over heels for him.”

“Tyler.” I said the name out loud, hoping it would trigger a memory. But his name meant nothing to me. “What happened to him?”

“This conversation isn’t about Tyler. It’s about James. Penny, you need to try to remember.”

“I was just wondering.” Geez. Melissa was never this serious. I was surprised she wasn’t raiding my closet and making me wear slutty clothes out on the town. It was a Friday night after all.

She sighed and lifted her cup back up. “Tyler is one of your best friends now. He’s happily married to another great friend of ours, and they have an adorable three and a half year old son together.”

“Oh.”

“Don’t look so disappointed.” Her smile was back. “You had your chance with him. As did I.”

“You dated him too?”

“Well, you happen to be right. Young, fun, and blonde was appealing to me as well. But I wound up right back where I started with Josh. Tall, dark, and handsome always wins. See? It’s a thing.”

“Huh.” I took a sip of my tea. “Rob’s daughter is three and a half too. Do their kids hang out? Or I guess I mean…are they friends too? Or is Tyler just my friend? You do know Rob, right? James’ brother?”

She rolled her eyes. “Yes, I know Rob. I had a fling with him too.”

“Of course you did.”

“And yeah, they’re all friends. Axel and Sophie are adorable. Those are their children’s names.”

“Cute names.”

“For cute kids.”

“Well, if I had to end up with a Hunter brother, I don’t know why I didn’t choose Rob. He seems more like my type too.”

“Stop saying stuff like that. It makes my chest hurt.”

I pressed my lips together.

Melissa set her cup back down and leaned forward. “Penny, you trust me, right?”

She wasn’t exactly the same Melissa that I remembered. But it seemed like we had remained close. I still felt comfortable around her. She still made me smile and laugh. “Of course I trust you.”

“James was the most eligible bachelor in NYC before you scooped him up. He’s handsome, and smart, and kind, and very very possessive. In a sexy way,” she said quickly when she saw the expression on my face. “It’s endearing, trust me. So just please do me a favor and try. Look at him when he gets home tonight. Really look at him and tell me you don’t think he’s sexy. And please do everyone a favor and don’t say stuff like that about Rob and Tyler around him, okay? Please?”

“Fine.” I bit the inside of my lip. “But I don’t see why an addict would be the most eligible bachelor in NYC. I guess it makes sense though. This city sucks.”

“What?”

“I’ve always hated New York. It’s…dirty and loud here.”

“I’m not talking about the city. I’m talking about what you just said about James. He’s not an addict. Why would you think that?”

“Um…” I let my voice trail off. Maybe we weren’t as close as I thought anymore. If we were still best friends, wouldn’t she have known that? Surely I would have told her.

“Penny, it’s one thing to say he’s not your type. It’s another to make up horrible lies about him. That’s cruel. He’s not an addict. Why would you jump to a wild conclusion like that? I’ve never known you to judge someone without getting to know them.” She was looking at me like she didn’t know who I was either.