Paths Less Trodden: Ventures Beyond the Horizon

I am here to tell you about the story of my life. it hasn't been easy and it's still not easy..life has taught me many things. it has taught me how to be brave, weak, strong and independent. My life has been a journey I wish for no one, it has been tough and emotional damaging and made me the person I am today whom I don't want to be. I am from South Africa. I am a girl of 26 years old.. well my life started like this: when I was a kid I used to be daddy's little girl. well my parents have two boys and two girls, which is me and my late twin sister. As I was growing up I had no sister to play with except for my brothers because our sister left us very early. So I used to do what ever they were doing because I wasn't allowed to go and play outside home, as that went on, my father usually wasn't staying with us at home because he was working far away from home.. My mother used to beat me up everyday not knowing why. This other day my brothers were beating me up I fought back, she came and beated me up saying that "can't you see they are your elder brothers" I cried so much that I gained the power to ask "why are you beating me instead of beating them?" "they are the ones that started it " she beated me even harder. I cried and wished my father was home. This continued again and again and nothing was done about it. When my father was coming home I used to stay until he arrives because I knew I'll be happy when he's home nobody will beat me while he's there. I so wished he never left me. When the time comes for him to go my heart shuttered because I knew they'll start again. I was forced to wash dishes and cook because they said it's a girls duty to do so, then I did. They'll be playing games and I'll go join them because I'm bored, but when momma comes and find me playing she'll beat me and say "can't you see they are boys and there's no girl there"? " go and clean the house"! I go and do as she said. Sometimes she'll go to church and I do all the chores and when I'm done, the boys will be going for fishing and I join them, when I come back there will be he'll to pay. She continued doing that until I asked her to tell me who my real mother is because it's clear that I'm not her biological daughter. She slapped me on my face and asked me what was I saying. I told her my own mother will never treat me as a slave and beat me for nothing instead of punishing his dear sons. She called my brothers and uncle to come and beat me up. I was beated black and blue my heart felt that pain. I told my father about it and they said I don't have respect I talk too much. He did nothing about it because he was helpless I was the only one telling a different story. He left and they continued treating me as thier maid and I did so. I forgot about it and accepted the situation as it is for so long. I finished primary and went to high school, I grew up but the routine never changed. She and my father forced me to join the reed dance so I went. My sister in-law came to join the family, she and I went to the same high school but she was doing high class than me because she was older than me. she used to come at home and make up stories about me to mom so that she'll beat me up, she never really liked me and she knew definitely that she'll beat me up. As I was growing they didn't know that they were planting a seed of hatred in me. My dad left us for another women who was staying next to where he was working. For four full years he never came home and never supported us. I studied until grade eleven then a problem started. I wasn't drinking not even going to clubs I was focusing on my school work. then this other day one of my pupils asked me to join them there's a show at a community hall, then I joined them. While we were there one of our class mates came with a glass of grapefruit juice (well I thought it was) and offered me to drink since they knew that I don't drink. I drank it and didn't notice anything wrong in it. everyone left except for this guys. I felt dizzy and I really don't know what happened next because I woke up in an unknown dirty place I was full of blood, I couldn't believe that I lost my virginity. the guy came and laughed that I was crying. I cried so hard thinking what my mother will do of me. I lost concentration at school because my days of going home were near. I thought of taking my life and stood on a busy traffic road next to my school, when the truck was about to hit me, a kid from nowhere pushed me away. I got saved just like that. The day for me to go home came, my father is the one that came to pick me up from school, I was shocked and didn't know what to do. I tried making excuses so I won't go home but he insisted so we went. The next day we were supposed to go for the camp for the virgins I refused and they promised to beat me, I cried and we went there. I called the woman who was checking us and told her the whole story and she called my mom. My mom wanted to kill me on the spot but she was stopped by that woman. after my dad left again she and my uncle beated me black and blue and she strangled my neck till I couldn't breath. They continued beating me up until I woke up and I broke the window to escape, I ran away and they didn't get me because I bumped to a police van and they took me to a hospital where I was kept overnight. They wanted to arrest them but I said no they must leave them so they did. I came home the following morning with a doctor's letter stating very clear that if they do it again they'll be arrested. She hated me for that, she couldn't even give me food and I went to her sister's house and ate there. I didn't like staying there anymore so I asked my father to fetch me so I'll go and stay with him because I didn't like the life I was living, he said I must ask for the school removal. I told my principal and she called mom, when she got there she told the principal not to give me because I was crazy and she agreed with her. I dropped out of school and stayed in people's houses, she came and beated me up and took my things home. I went to look for work in the farms, I worked there for a long time because she wasn't gaining any source of income and my dad was no longer there. I put the past behind me and did as if nothing happened but the I'll treatment never stopped.