Strong Allies

Magic

"The longer you wait to place a client, the harder it hurts their confidence. A kid with a good group of friends, a Sitter, is healthy and natural. She has a sort of lightness to her physical mannerisms. Her smiles come easy and her laughs last an appropriate amount of time. She doesn"t worry too much when she messes up. A kid without a group of friends, a Pitter, starts to forget how to act like a Sitter."

On the first day of school, I had told my father there was no need to bother with the bus; he could pick me up at five when he got off work. From three to five, I was a madman. I scouted out all the clubs, trying to get a feel for lines of loyalty. I also chatted with the After School Specials, kids who had no car and no one to pick them up at three. As high school students are too old for daycare, they just sort of floated around the entrance way after school.

I"d gotten Carly to join a couple clubs, but she hadn"t been invited to hang out with the kids in Concert Choir or Snowball outside of club time yet. Today, she didn"t have any clubs, so she was with me.

"Are you going to match me today?" she asked, bouncing on her heels.

I shrugged. "Are you sure you need it? You were pretty good with Megan and John today."

"Yeah, but I want to be matched!" she said. "It sounds awesome! Like getting set up with a boy, but with less pressure."

I was beginning to realize Carly just plain liked hanging out with me. Which was okay.

"All right," I said. "I haven"t matched anyone yet in high school, so I might as well start with an easy one. I"ll try matching you with Maddie Rosenthal. She went to grade school with me and she"s nice."

We approached together. Three girls were sprawled out on the ground, sitting on their sweaters, resting against their backpacks which rested in turn against the wall.

"Hey, Maddie," I said. "How"s the pencil sharpener situation today?"

"Hi," she said, smiling at me. "My mom got me a pack of those cheap sharpeners. I still think we need more on the walls though. There was, like, one every ten feet at St. Anne"s."

"Oh, good," I said. "Hey, those are really cute!" I added, noting the little puppy face on the top of the dollar store pencil sharpener she was showing me.

Maddie blushed. "My mom still thinks I"m a little girl I guess."

I laughed. "Hey, this is Carly. She was home schooled for grade school."

"Client?" Maddie asked.

"Client and sort of assistant now," I said. Carly beamed.

"Well, hi!" said Maddie to Carly. "I"m Maddie."

"I"m Claire," said Claire.

"I love puppies!" said Carly. "We have three at home."

"Oh, what kind?" said Claire.

Everyone smiled brightly and continued to talk. I sat with them for about five minutes, then continued on my rounds.

In the corner, I spotted a girl with long blonde hair writing in a notebook.

"Hello," I said. "I"m Phil."

"Hello," she said, then turned back to her notebook.

"Doing homework?" I asked.

"Yes," she said, not looking up. I saw that her name was Riley Stanley.

"Want to take a break?" I asked, getting annoyed.

"No thanks," she said.

I left her be, deciding I would work on her later.

The next people I encountered were Mike Ziemann and Aiden Ronayne. They were sitting quietly, playing cards at a table in the cafeteria. I watched them for a moment. When they hit a break, Aiden looked up at me politely.

"You can slap in if you want to play," he said.

"How do I do that?" I asked.

"It"s real easy. If you see two of the same value card, slap them before someone else does."

I sat down and observed them carefully. Aiden had the most cards and won almost all the slaps. He was inhumanly quick at spotting doubles. When the game was almost over, I finally got about five cards, but within a minute I had lost all of them. Finally Aiden had won all of the cards.

"Nice," said Mike.

"So you guys are After School Specials?" I asked them.

Aiden laughed. "What"s that?"

"You hang around after school every day," I explained.

They both laughed.

"Yeah," said Aiden. "I"m super special. My parents work until five. We"re all the way out in Seventh Lake, so I just chill here and wait for them."

"Same," said Mike. "It"s not too bad. Sometimes Mrs. Smogor gives us leftovers to snack on from the cafeteria."

I played another round of cards with Mike and Aiden, which took forever. They were nice guys. As we were nearing the end, I noticed a boy at the next table, practicing a magic trick. He was trying to make a coin disappear, but I was sitting at such an angle that I could see the trick to it. His hands were rough, his hair dark and curly, his face covered in freckles, his frame tall and thin. I was not close enough to see his eyes. I though about going over to network, but something stopped me.

Aiden was looking at me funny.

"Oh, hey, man, are you ..." he said.

I looked up, surprised. "Am I what?"

Aiden gestured toward the boy and back at me, flustered. "It"s totally fine if you are."

"Oh!" I said, understanding. "No ..." And I stopped.

Was I?

As noted before, I had zero experience with dating or crushes. I used to think such things would happen when I was older. Well, now, it seemed, I was older.

I risked another quick peek at the boy. I realized with no small amount of surprise that I liked looking at him. I liked watching his expression change. I didn"t even know him, but for some reason I really wanted to go over and talk to him. Not to add him to my web of contacts, but for the pleasure of it.

I knew, of course, that some boys liked other boys. In eighth grade, in the wake of certain current events, they"d sat us down at St. Anne"s and explained the Catholic church"s point of view. Gay people were children of God, our teacher had stressed. We were to treat them with respect. The church condemned violence against the gay community. They were simply called to a life of celibacy. It had all seemed very abstract. When I pictured a gay person, it was always an adult, usually a rather feminine, awkward sort of man around thirty in a teal polo shirt. I imagined him living out his life of celibacy contentedly, pleased to be accepted by the church despite his misfortune. God truly was generous.

Now, I imagined feeling this same burning longing I was feeling right now on and off for the rest of my life, never able to act on it. And suddenly I wanted to throw a rock in God"s face.

"I don"t know," I said to Aiden, a wobble in my voice. "This has never happened before."

He smiled a reassuring smile. "Don"t worry," he said. "Your secret"s safe with us."

"Yeah," said Mike, "don"t worry."

But I was very worried, more worried than I"d ever been in my life.