In A Nick Of Time

I hiss as the blade comes in contact with my skin, I'm familiar with this pain because I cause them to my body. Self harm, the statement undefined but the word really explainable. In my eyes I see this word as an excuse to get away from emotional pain with physical pain. Same thing goes with anxiety, social anxiety and the list goes on. "Anna, please come over here" My mom utters from downstairs. As panick washes over me, worst case scenarios begin to play in my imagination. "What if she sees the mess I made with my own blood" "What would she think about her top A daughter after she sees this ". "Coming mom", I hurriedly clear the place and wipe of any extra mess I've created. As I descended down the stairs I couldn't help but wonder why she would request my attention. Once I made myself comfortable on the couch she started of saying. "So you know about this church I and your father have been attending, they have this camp programme for teens and I would really like you to go for it " I hadn't listened or payed attention to what she was saying until the part where she said I would "go for it". As if. "And why would you think that I would be interested in going for this 'camp meeting' "I inquired "Listen I've already signed up, registered and payed for it, the last thing you could do is go to this camp and believe in He that is in you" "There is no 'He' anywhere in me or whatever because if He in quote is really in me then I won't be the way I am now, I'm not going for this retreat whatever." I angrily stomped out of the room only to be met with my dad and the registration papers, he also told me the same thing and at this point there will be no way I could escape from not going to the camp whatever, and here I am packing for the next day, how could my life get any better.