My Don't Date List

There are two kinds of girls in the world. The kind who believes in love at first sight. And the kind who has been stupid enough to believe in it twice. I was apparently both. But the world of romance movies and novels taught me something different. And being the optimist that I was I still thought about stolen kisses, romantic sunsets and joy of little gestures. "You're staring at the wall again." I blinked. "I'm thinking." Lyla snorted. "That's what you call it?" "Yes." "You've been staring at the same spot for three minutes." "Maybe the wall is interesting." "It isn't." Blair dropped another packet of crisps into the middle of the bed. "Can we please stop bullying Beth?" "I'm not bullying her," Lyla said. "I'm trying to save her." "From what?" "Men." I sighed. There it was. Lyla and Blair, my best friends since kindergarten and my shoulder to cry on after a terrible break sat with me, a night before I was about to leave for summer vacation. These two glamorous girls took a pity on a nerd and adopted me into their special bubble and I loved them more than sisters. The subject that had been haunting me ever since Lucas decided that being my boyfriend was apparently too much responsibility for one person. I had spent the last month telling myself I was over him. I wasn't exactly lying. I just wasn't telling the whole truth. I was over him. I was not over the humiliating realisation that I had been so convinced Lucas was different. I'd watched him flirt with half the university. I'd heard all the stories. I'd ignored every single one. Because I was a hopeless romantic, and hopeless romantics have a dangerous habit of believing they are the exception. I thought I would be the girl who changed him. Instead, I became another girl he changed his mind about. "Okay," Blair said, sitting cross-legged opposite me. "New rule." "Please don't." "New rule," she repeated. Lyla's eyes lit up. That was never a good sign. "We're making a list." I stared at them. "A list?" "Yes." "What kind of list?" "The kind that prevents you from making another terrible romantic decision." "I made one terrible decision." "One very large terrible decision." "Thank you, Lyla. Hope you have a rainy summer vacation in London!" "You're welcome." Blair laughed. Lyla grabbed a notebook from my desk and opened it with the solemnity of someone preparing an important legal document. "Bethany needs standards." "I have standards." "Lucas?" I shut my mouth. "Exactly." She uncapped a pen. While I tried on a green top and turned to look at the girls to ask for approval. Blair give me a nod of approval before moving closer to Lyla to discuss the important document that was the list. "Ten things." "Ten?" "Ten things you absolutely do not want in a guy." I leaned back against the pillows. "This is ridiculous." "Then you should have no problem doing it." Blair grinned. "Come on, Beth. It'll be fun." I hesitated. Maybe it was ridiculous. Maybe it was childish. But it would be convenient to consult the list before I go breaking my heart again. Maybe I desperately needed something ridiculous and childish after spending the last few weeks questioning my judgement. "Fine." Lyla raised both hands in victory. "Yes!" She wrote at the top of the page: BETHANY'S DON'T-DATE LIST I laughed. "That sounds dramatic." "Because your love life is dramatic." "Was." "Whatever helps you sleep." Blair picked up the pen. "No drinking." I nodded, with my alcoholic uncle ruining every Christmas and smashing things around house, anything intoxicating disgusted me. "Definitely." Lyla wrote it down. "No smoking." "Absolutely." It was the smell, I couldn’t kiss someone who smoked. "No tattoos." I glanced at Blair. "Really?" "Yes." "Why?" "Because tattoos look painful." Lyla shrugged. "I agree." "Okay. No tattoos." "No arrogance," Blair added. "Very important." "No violence." "Obviously." I gave Blair a dry look. Lyla tapped her chin. "Beard." I stared at her. "Beard?" "Yes. I don't like beards." "That's not a moral quality." "It is when you're dating someone." I laughed. "Fine. No beard." Blair leaned closer. "No gang." The room went quiet for half a second. Lyla underlined it. "Actually, put a giant exclamation mark beside that one." I laughed. "Why would I ever date someone in a g**g?" "Exactly." "Good." Blair continued. "Doesn't hate reading. Because how would he understand your collection of 1000 books" "Absolutely." "Good grades." "Obviously. My mom has to approve him so this might do the trick" Lyla looked down at the list. "Last one." I thought about Lucas, the beloved school athlete with too many girls wishing him on his birthday His birthday. December. I groaned. "Not born in December." Blair burst out laughing. "That is so specific." "He was born in December." "Bethany." "I don't care. I don't want another December man." Lyla added it. Then she pushed the notebook toward me. Ten rules. Ten ways to avoid making another mistake. It looked almost reassuring. Like if I followed them carefully enough, I could prevent my heart from getting hurt again. I took a picture of the list. "Done." Lyla raised her glass of soda. "To never dating another idiot." Blair raised hers. "To standards." I lifted mine. "To surviving romance." Our glasses clinked. For the first time in weeks, I laughed without forcing it. Maybe this could work. Maybe I really could stop making stupid choices. Maybe love wasn't supposed to be complicated. Maybe all I needed was a checklist. Two days later, I stood beside my suitcase at the front door while my mother checked, for the fourth time, that I had everything. "Phone charger?" "Yes." "Toothbrush?" "Yes." "Your medication?" "Yes." "Your glasses?" I touched the frames sitting on my nose. "Currently attached to my face." Mom smiled. "Very funny." Behind me, Lyla and Blair were hugging me like I was leaving for another continent. "I'll call every day," Blair promised. "Text every morning," Lyla added. "You're both acting like I'm going to war." "Coast End is dangerous." "It's a beach town." "Exactly. Boys." I rolled my eyes. My brother Parker had been living in Coast End for university, and I was spending the first part of my summer there. It was supposed to be simple. Beach. Books. Food. Maybe some writing. Absolutely no romance. Because romance was clearly where I had been going wrong. I hugged my friends one last time. "Wish me luck." Lyla smiled. "Find your Mr. Perfect." I shook my head. "No boy is perfect." "Then find one who passes the list." I laughed. "Deal." I climbed into the car. As Coast End disappeared into the distance behind us, I pulled out my phone and looked at the photograph of the list. Ten rules. Simple. Safe. I had no idea that within forty-eight hours, I would meet someone who broke almost every single one. And somehow... He would become the hardest rule I ever tried to break.