THE MISTRESS ?

**Depression**

Chris pov

I press the remote to open the gates to my house as I drive through and I press the "close" button afterwards.

I park my car in the garage and walk into my house. Everywhere is so dark and silent since I live alone. I ransack my pockets for my keys and open the door. I walk in and drop my suitcase on the table. I turn on the lights and slump on the couch.

I look round my house which is medium sized and cozy. Then,I am startled by the sound of loud thunder followed by heavy rain. I walk up to the window and close the blinds. Rain has been falling in Alabama regularly these days. I guess it is because we are in September.

What? September? Oh my God! what is today date? I wonder to myself as I rush to check the calendar. I see that today is September 15.

I fall to the ground and start sobbing "How could I have forgotten about September 15? How could I have forgotten the anniversary of my best friend's death.

I am supposed to have visited her grave and put flowers there today. I am a terrible person. Past memories begin to flood my mind.

I remember how I fell into depression at the tender age of 13. Susan (my best friend) was there for me. I almost committed suicide a few months after my 14th year birthday but she saved me. I attempted suicide again when I was 15 years but she came again like the hero she is and rescued me.

I remember feeling so worthless. I was completely empty and numb. I wasn't passing through any serious problem at the time,yet I was feeling dead inside. The only thoughts running through my mind was that "It wasn't worth living. Nobody cares about me and no one would miss me. The whole world would be a better place without me."

Susan held on to me and sobbed that day. She looked at me and said "you are the only good friend I have in the world and you are one of the best things that ever happened to me. I would be miserable without you. I love you so much."

I was jolted out of my numb state of mind because of the last sentence "I love you so much." I started sobbing uncontrollably. It was at that moment that I realized that nobody has ever told me that they loved me,not even my dad. She gave me the will to live that day because of that statement.

I got out of my depressed state and was doing well. I started actually enjoying being alive. We both went on many adventures together. I thought all was well and I was truly happy.

On September 15,I clearly recall walking to her parents house excited at the thoughts of what we planned to do. I remember shouting her name as I got to her house, checking all the rooms and seeing that no one is there. Her parents are always out of town and her siblings are in school,so that was not weird.

It suddenly occurs to me that she would be in the library as that was her favorite place. I walk into the library only to witness the worst thing ever.

My dearest Susan was lying on the floor with a cup in her hand. I ran to her and shook her body. Her body was so cold and she wasn't breathing. I picked up my phone and dialled 911. I knew deep down that she was gone. I saw an envelope beside her,opened it and what was written inside the letter shook me to the core.

In her beautiful handwriting,she wrote "I am so sorry, Chris. I couldn't live anymore,so I drank poison. Please live for me and I want you to be truly happy. I love you so much. Till we meet again.

I slumped to the ground and don't even remember the events that followed. I was in a complete state of shock. I couldn't believe that she committed suicide. I never knew that she was going through things.

She always looked so happy and would always attend to my needs first. She is the last person that I would have ever believed would commit suicide. Now,I understand better that many people hide their pain behind a smile.

Today marks the 9th year of her death. I sincerely hope she is truly happy and flying with angels in heaven.

I come back to reality and begin to stare into space. I did not even know when I finally slept off.