Out of the ashes

In reality what has become of my life is very adventurous, exciting and unbelievable. That you have to loose everything you care for and still continue on with what you call the shambles of your life, fighting again for what your believes where in, even if you have someone or somebody that wants you to believe in something else. My fight is every day, my heart aches for every living soul. My name is Phynix,  Iam a twenty one year old girl that was married in the so called Human world. I sufford a heart attack and a year ago a stroke, I  know what your thinking, yeah I was to young but stress does not choose your age. At this stage I  live with my mom as my husband could not cope with my breathing it seems. I am trying to build myself up. And that is a joke on it self, not that Iam laughing hell no ! You know that saying of practice what you preach. People do not know this concept or meaning of that. I  grew up in a family that you stand up when you fall, stronger, you love and care for what is around you, but after my stroke I have lost myself. Yeah lucky me again, I can walk talk and see my stroke only damaged my brain a little, so emotions I have to learn again. Love which was my primary emotion has fallen flat, sadness is my overal emotion these couple of months, Please remember Iam doing this alone with no help from the people that profes to love me. Now you know what I look like, ordinary, long dark brown hare from far it looks black and if I stand in the sun blaze red.and normal dark brown eyes, yeah will not win a model contract but I live. A year going for two, I  still don't know why I am here, but clearly Iam still breathing for a reason. So yeah I am the eldest of five children three girls and two boys, look Iam not going to dish family but the disappointment of mine is enormous. Being raised a certain way and looking at them now the difference is staggering. My dad died three years ago and I still miss him everyday. He was the glue that kept us together, kept my mother in her place but know..... yeah welcome to my hell, and trying to figure yourself out in this craziness well good luck.