THE GIRL BOOK I

Book I, Chapter 3

Four days ago

It was like any normal day. The sun was out. There are cars in the parking lot. O’Reilly Auto Parts in Moeser Shopping Center. A man arrived in his golden truck. He made it to work. A woman was sitting in the passenger seat. She stayed quiet the whole time.

She tries her best to hold her emotions. It wasn’t a good time. She remembers everything that happened. She acts normal like always. She pretends everything will be fine. But honestly; she wasn’t okay. She waits until he goes to work. It was twelve o’clock in the afternoon. He clocked in at work.

When he was at work, the woman was having a mental breakdown. She couldn’t hold it in anymore. Tears fell from her face. It was streaming down like a river. She could tell she was hyperventilating. Like she couldn’t breathe. She was having anxiety and panic attacks. She experiences bad things in her life. She thought two years ago would be good years for her. But it wasn’t.

She thought the two guys were really her friends. But everything was fake. They were fake towards her. She felt used. She felt that they were never friends. Everything that happened to her on June 30, 2023. She may remember but she can’t forget. She doesn’t want to feel anything. She wants to be emotionally numb. Especially when the man was feeling sad. He wants her to be emotionally available. But when she needed him the most he abandoned her. Don’t you think this was not fair?

She wishes that everything disappeared. Her mother didn’t want her. She thinks that she should die. Even after experience from dying. She likes it. Because then everyone would be happy. And the days will go back to normal. She couldn’t let go of the past. She wants to know why. Why did he abandon her and the child? Why did he tell her he would be there for them? But ignore her and ghost her.

The Girl’s POV

Why me?! Why do I deserve this? I try my best to be the woman the man would love me for. I read his body language. If he didn’t like me, he would have told me. If he didn’t want to be my friend he would have told me. If he didn’t want to have kids he would have told me.

I knew I didn’t want kids. But I didn’t want to abort the child. I’m not all about killing a life that was mine. Because I have bonded with her for a short while. Even when I was pregnant he had made love with the same women he had a rollercoaster with. He told me he wouldn’t cheat. But he did. Even though we weren’t dating. I felt we were. However; I was a fool to believe in him.

I don’t trust him anymore. He has hurt me. He has overstepped his boundaries with me. I was broken again. I could feel my heart breaking a million pieces. I have my limits too. Why can’t he understand me? I was there when he needed me the most. I was there to soothe his broken heart. Even when he was rejected.

No more! I am done crying. I will not cry anymore. I will not cry for that man. The man who plays games with me. The man who manipulates his ways in my life. The man who lies. And He think I was paranoid. I am done. I will make sure everyone who has hurt me in the past will feel the pain of losing. He has wasted my time.

// END OF THE GIRL’S POV //

The girl pretends to be happy. She always did that before. She decided to close her heart. She decided to close her friendship department. Everything that she was was all closed. She put up a strong barrier around herself. She won’t let anyone into her heart. Nor will she allow anyone into her life. She will become an emotionless doll. She will become the heartless monster that anyone wants. She won’t be naive and weak anymore.

She made a promise to herself. The moon witnessed her promise. The man promised to watch a movie with her. But, he ends up falling asleep in the truck. So, she just doesn't care anymore. She doesn’t want to force anyone anymore. Even though they force themselves on her.

The days passed by as he fell asleep in the night. He was already in the truck. As for her, she was there with him. She stayed quiet all the time. She has a hard time sleeping. Because she has insomnia. She wasn’t the happy go lucky person that she once was.

She looked through the window. She could see all the cars passing by here and there. She couldn’t stop the tears that fell from her face. She had good times. But, everything was all a fake. The people who were thought to be good people to have friends were all fake. because her ex boyfriend assumed they were. She giggles softly at the thought as she shakes her head. She made up her mind. There will be no turning back. She just needs a plan.

The Next Day

The sun rises up in the sky. It was sunny. But, there were clouds in the sky. It was foggy. It was cold. It was windy. She stayed up the whole night last night. She has too much in her mind. She has to do this by herself.

She thought she could do this by herself. But, she can’t. She knew she shouldn’t be here. She regrets everything. The moment she met this man. The moment she felt a connection. She couldn’t explain it. How can she? She woke the man up. So, he can get ready for work. And she did.

It’s a repeated cycle of waking him up every night. She has to stay quiet. She shouldn’t say anything. If anyone asks, she would just smile like she always does. So then, no one will understand her. She doesn’t want to be vulnerable ever again.

Little did she know, the darkness that was growing overtime since she was an infant was unbearable. The darkness clouded her mind. The darkness clouded her heart. She could feel the negative thoughts in her mind roaming freely. She has to control it no matter what.

She knew that it was all her fault. It was her fault for leaving her mother’s house. Even though it was her choice. But, everytime her mother mentioned it; it made her go even more depressed. She stayed quiet again.