Perfect Collision.

Lightning meets thunder.

Ifeanyi trudged through the mud and rain, a scowl on his face. There were two things he hated more than anything; the rain and getting dirty, now his boots were muddy and mud splattered the back of his trousers with each step he took. The poncho he had on only protected him from the rain, not the cold and, it ended at his knees meaning the whole bottom half of his trouser was soaked with muddy water. And whose fault was that. 

That gossipy woman. Gah! I hate gossips.

He got to his destination and stopped, sure enough the subject of his irritation was deep in conversation with another woman, their faces only inches apart. Only God knew whose juicy details they were currently whispering about. He didn't have time for this, after trudging through half a mile of mud from his house to her shop, he wasn't in a good mood at all.

"Iya Idia," his voice boomed and they sprung apart like they were suddenly struck with lightning. Iya Idia, recovering from her shock got up and smiled nervously.

"Brother Ifeanyi, good morning o," she greeted.

"What's good about the morning," he snapped, she'd certainly ruined his morning. He raised his right hand up to show her the package he'd come all the way over there for, "You sold me the wrong pasta, I asked for spaghettini and you sold spaghetti. If you hadn't been gossiping with that same woman last night you'd have given me the right order."

"Ah no vex o, I'll change it for you," she apologized and took the polythene bag from him, went inside and came back a few minutes later with what he requested for. He grabbed the polythene bag from her and turned on his heels, muttering curses under his breath as he went.

A fancy white Corolla drove past him on the way, splashing mud water on him. His face, poncho and trouser was now covered in mud, even the nylon he was holding wasn't spared. He raised his fist in the air and yelled a string of insults at the driver. "Incompetent fool," he muttered as he wiped his face with his hand and continued down the path to his house.

He got to his house and noticed the same car that just splashed him, parked a few metres away. He had half a mind to go confront the driver for driving so recklessly but thought better of it, he was too hungry anyway.

Surprisingly, when he opened the gate, a woman came out with an umbrella from the driver's side and walked up to him. She was dressed in a leopard print playsuit that ended mid thigh, her feet were clad in red stiletto heels and she had on fancy specs.

Who wore such attire in this kind of weather.

Her heels got stuck in the mud with each step she took towards him and though he found it amusing because she made quite a sight as she tried to walk but he didn't have time to hang around staring at her. She probably wanted to ask for directions anyway and considering what she did to him earlier, she could get lost for all he cared. He turned back to head into the house and she called out to him.

"No, wait please."

Reluctantly, he waited. The rain had lessened, it was nothing more than a slight shower now. After what seemed like ages, she got to his front and took off her glasses. Now that he could see her up close, she was beautiful, although probably a halfwit considering her dressing in this cold weather. She was beautiful but, everything about her screamed fake. From her pin straight wig that flowed down her back, her contacts and fake lashes down to her plastic fingernails. What was surprising though, was she didn't look cold, he was soaked with muddy water- courtesy of her- and he was freezing.

"Ifeanyi Daniels?" she asked in a sultry voice that made one think of hot summer nights of rolling in the sheets.

"Who's asking?" he frowned, she looked kind of familiar though for the life of him he couldn't understand why, she certainly didn't look like she was from around here and he never ventured into town.

She raised a slender hand in a shake and introduced herself. "Katrina Bello."

At the name, he rolled his eyes, she was that upcoming actress he always saw on TV nowadays. She always played provocative roles in movies and had a penchant for dressing lewdly, like she currently was. He couldn't believe he'd spent all those wasted minutes waiting for her in the cold when he could be indoors in the warmth of his house.

"Right," he ignored the hand, "what do you want?"

"I came to talk to you about accepting a role in a movie, with me." She said like taking part in the movie with her was supposed to be a novelty.

"Sorry chic, I'm retired," he turned to head in and she held his arm in a firm grip.

"Come on, don't be so hasty to reply at least listen to my proposal first."

Now, he felt inclined to inform her of what she did to him earlier, so he didn't have to listen to anything she had to say.

"You drenched me in mud now you're stopping me from entering my house?" he faced her fully now and she smiled.

"I'm sorry about that, I was in a hurry you see-" she tried to explain and he silenced her with a raise of his hand.

"Save it," he knew he was being rude but he was cranky from hunger and so cold. He had to ask though, "I feel like I know you from somewhere, do I know you?"

"I'm disappointed I didn't leave quite an impression on you," she pouted her lips and the image ignited a memory in him. He laughed, the whole situation now seemed like de ja vu.

"Now I remember you, " he stared her down, "you've come a long way from what I remember." She had been one of the extras on the set of a movie he was in some years back and had tried to seduce him into getting her a permanent place in the industry.

"Piece of advice though, lose the whole getup," he pointed to her whole attire, "you look like a mamiwater and not the good kind." He turned, went inside and closed the gate in her face.