Why Me Goddess

Finding out about the Mate Ball; I'm not ready!

It has a month and a half since my first shift and it's not getting any easier right now, but my friend Ann, here in the pack says it will get easier with time. I do hope so because I don't want to be in pain every time I shift. Right now Ann and I are in wolf form, her wolf is pretty it's an dark brown and she has light brown on her front paws and her face, it makes her wolf look like it has stuck its face is some light brown paint. But it's very cute, I also found out that her name is Ashley, which I think is cute for a wolf.

'Let's go back to the pack house' Ann mind link me, I looked over at her and nodded my head. Mind liking was something I something I was still trying to get use too, I had been in the pack for close to a year and things was still hard on me. But then again only other wolf I had knew for seventeen years was my mother, because we was running and trying to survive so we could live another day. But this pack life was way different, and it was more low key. Sure there me be guys bickering over a girl but I've noticed that the girl loves them both, and that is funny to watch. As to were I try to stay away from the guys, I don't even see the one that brought me to the pack. Although there is no hiding from the Alpha of the pack.

Ann and I head back to the pack house. We get to the tree line that has our cloths, Ann shifts first "Remember your human form" She says to me, as I shift back. "I think I'm getting the hang of it Ann, it's just the pain that is some what there" I said to her as we both got dressed. "That will go away with time also" She said as we walked to the pack house.

When Ann and I get back into the pack house the Alpha walks from the kitchen and over to me "May I borrow her for a while Ann?" He ask and she bows to him, and walks off. The Alpha puts a hand on my back "Let's go talk in my office." He said as he guided me to his office, I was scared because I wasn't sure of what I had done to go to his office. When we got in there his Beta was in the room "Alpha am I in trouble?" He smiled a bit "You wouldn't be in here if you were in trouble." He said to said to me and I just nodded "Do you know what the mating ball is?" He ask it "Um I have herd some of the girls talk about it, but I do not know what it is." I said to him "Well its a fancy party that all unmated wolfs go to so they can find there mates." He said to me and I just looked at him as I trying to figure out if I could get out of it. As if he could read my face he let out a sigh "You have to go, you don't have a mate." He said to me and I looked at the floor. "It's not as bad as you thing it is" He said to me and I just turned and walked out of the room, the Alpha knew something like this was huge for me since I told him story so if I just walked out of his office he didn't upset at me, he would just have the Luna come and talk to me.

I walked to my bedroom and fell on my bed 'Mate ball...I don't want to go.' I rolled over in bed and curled into a ball 'Mate will love us.' Lilly said to me and I just curled up more into a ball 'Mate can also hurt us! Or reject us!' I pretty much yelled at Lilly, because so of the dang rouge would be in human form and saying they wouldn't make the same mistake by rejection. So just thinking about being rejected by someone who is made to be my other half hurts.

While my mother was still alive we did talk about mates, but it wasn't that much. I never ask about my father, but when we did talk about mates I could sadness in her eyes. She would always tell me to trust my mate when I found him because he will keep me safe. So us running from all the male rouges didn't make me like I could trust any male.

I knew that I just couldn't lay around in my room all day pout like a two year having a tantrum. So I got up off my bed and got some clothes together so I could take a shower. Once I had what I needed I walked to bathroom and a shower, when I got done I got out and got dressed.

I had decided to go and talk to Ann about this, she is my best friend. So I hope she can ease my mind just a bit on this whole Mate Ball thing. I walked out of my room and down the hall a bit to where her room was and knocked on the door. "Come on in girl" She said to me as I walk into the room. I shut the door once I was in the room "So what is your mind?" Ann ask me "The Mate Ball." I said to her as I sat down in a cute chair. "Your worried about that" I nodded to her as I pulled my knees up to my chest and put my chin on my knees "This is the first time I've been to one." I said to her and her mouth just dropped open.

We talked a bit longer and that me feel some better. Although we could talk more over dinner, which it what it is right now.