BEAUTIFUL MISTAKES (BY :DIVINE)

CHAPTER ONE (1) I puffed the thin cigarette and sucked the smoke deep into my lungs. I held it in there, trapped it for a few seconds before blowing it in the air. I watched it gradually disappear until it was completely gone. I chuckled lifelessly. Cigarettes always helped me cope. It's my love, my comfort, my companion, and my consistency. The ash sprinkled across the glossy tiles when I flicked the filter. It was as if each floating piece were a moment of my life sheared away. I inhaled deeply, letting the smoke seep into my cells. The comfort I ached for had finally returned. At some certain point in my life, I realized that not everything you want in this world can be yours. No matter how rich and powerful you were, no matter how you can get those things in just a snap of your fingers, mayroon talagang mga bagay na hindi para sa 'yo. Just like how I ached for my own freedom. No matter how much I want it to be up to me, I can't. The moment I push for what I want to be free, I know I will hurt and hurt the only family I have left. And I don't want that to happen. I don't want to disappoint him. I don't want to lose him. "Papa, please. Maybe you can think about this carefully first? You can't decide that fast. This is my life we're talking about!" I cried frustratingly. My father was strict just like any father to his daughter. I saw and observed how he became strict and us since the day she gave birth to me that's why I don't know how it feels to have a mother by my side. Yet I neither repent nor seek. Despite his strict attitude, he still managed to make me feel loved and wanted. He gave me everything and luxury. He never looked for another woman when he was young and capable of falling in love. That if he wants to, he can do it. He poured all his love and attention to me while I grew up. I can still remember when I was a kid, whenever he had business meetings, I would force him to bring me along with him instead of leaving me with a bunch of nannies. In the end he will agree. He will take me to the conference room. I was just there in the swivel chair, snuggled up to him and quietly listening to whatever he and his coworkers were talking about. Even though I know the child is not allowed, it is fine. What can they do? My father was their president. What he said goes. After the meeting, we would go back to his office. he would sit me on top of his table and feed me my favorite fast food while talking to me. You see? I may not have a mother who will comb and pony my hair throughout my childhood but I have a father who did everything just to learn those things for me. He took the sadness away and made me feel that I was complete. Papa's presence is enough to make me feel whole and I don't need to look for anything else. That's why I made a promise to myself that I'll do anything that can make him happy. Whatever he asked me, I'd gladly do it. But not this one. I never expected that he would ask me the I don't know that man! "Trina, son, it's for your own good. One day you will inherit our company. I'm your only child, who do you expect to inherit it but you?" Papa answered calmly. Behind those thick eyeglasses, I can still see his wrinkled eyes that looked so alarming even in his old age. "Pa, I can manage it alone-" "No, hija. You can't. You're too busy managing your own career and I doubt that you'd have the time and strength to handle our own family business all by yourself. That's why you need Archer. He can help you, us. When you become husband and wife and our companies join forces, it will expand and strengthen our connection to the construction industry." Archer, huh? I stood still in front of my papa who was sitting on his swivel chair as I stared at him in the eyes. I wanted to ask him if it were connections and wealth that only mattered to him. How about me? My freedom as a person? Did he ever imagine me imprisoning myself into that marriage together with that stranger? Does he even know the man he's talking about? Maybe it's only known by his name, eh! My eyes shimmered in tears as I looked at my old man. He also just stared at me, questioning my every reaction. My lips quivered. "P-papa..." I begged, my hands balling into fists. A few seconds passed before he averted his eyes from me and released a sigh. He headed over before shaking his head. He took off his glasses and placed them on his study table. Slowly, he pulledtowards me. My insides broke down when he brought his wrinkled hand on my cheek and stroked it gently. I turned around, crying louder and louder, and there was nothing I could do. "I'm sorry, hija. But you have to understand that I'm doing this for you. I'm too old to wait for you to have a boyfriend. I want to put you and the company in good hands before I'm gone . Don't worry, Archer is a good man. You will learn to like him for sure." My chest felt heavy when I remembered the conversation my father and I had about a week ago. To make me feel bette either way, whatever they agreed on will no longer work. In the middle of my thoughts, I heard a series of knocks from my door. Without taking my eyes off the nature in front of me, I spoke, "Come in." Not a few seconds later the door creaked. I kept looking at the vast plains that brought me peace every time I looked at it. Every time I felt down, here on the veranda of my room I often chill and pass the time. "Ma'am, your father is making you laugh. The guests are already downstairs." Bumuga ako ng hangin. This was the fuckest day of my life-the day I'm going to meet my damn fiancé. Wasn't it bullshit? "I will follow," I answered lifelessly. "Go ahead." Narinig ko ang pagsara ng pinto. I stared at the cigarette between my fingers. It was almost short enough to burn me. With an effort, I leaned sideways and crushed it out on the ashtray. I stood up and blew a frustrated breath before heading to the doorway. Just at the entrance of the stairs, I saw dad. He was sitting on the two sofas and laughing with the two people in front of him. Since my back was turned I could not see them. On their side was a man who was sitting squarely while his elbows were focused on the arm rest of the couch and his hands were folded over his stomach. He watched the conversation without emotion. Napairap ako. He must be that Archer guy my father's talking about. smiling genuinely at me. In their arrangement, it is obvious that they speak big and high in life. Will not be caught, obviously combative. "Hija, they're Evangeline and Tyron Ravena, your future in-laws. And this is their son, Archer Ravena, your soon to be husband..." I wanted to wince at the way papa introduced me, but because I knew he would get angry when I did that, I forced myself to smile at the adults in front of me. "Good afternoon, po. I'm Trinity Velarde," I greeted them. Next I turned to the speechless man at my side. Naabutan ko itong nakatitig sa akin. The man, if anything, was fitter looking than I have expected. His face told of a lean body beneath his formal garb and his expression was serious and unkind. His hair was fixed in a clean cut. He had a set of deep obsidian hooded eyes and an upturned nose. He has a white complexion, something I don't like. What I like in a man is brunette. He also has a small scar below his eyebrow, it's not noticeable but if you look closely you can really see it. He is handsome after all. But he's not my type. I don't think he will ever be. "Good afternoon," I greeted him coldly. He nodded. I was also treated coldly. "Afternoon." "I'm so glad to finally meet you today, Trinity. You're so pretty! I always see your face in every lifestyle magazine I've read, and I want to say that you're very excellent in your field of work, hija!" agaw ni Mrs. Ravena sa atensyon ko. I smiled emotionlessly. "Thank you, Ma'am. It's just that I really love what I am doing." "He's good at interior design, Evangeline. So I'm worried that the time will come when he'll have to manage our company but because of his own business he won't be able to focus on it. At least now that Archer is here, I don't need to think about it anymore." Papa sounded so proud which was then followed by a hearty laugh. "That's right, Nestor. After all, these two are perfect. They both have a passion for building repairs," Mr. Ravena butted in. Tss. I tried to smile. "If you haven't asked, hija, Ravena's are known for their world class steels. Almost all construction companies and well- known people in the construction field hire from them. It's only right because that's where our line is," dad told me that I couldn't focus anymore. I took a deep breath and looked at them all. "If you don't mind, can I talk to my future husband alone?" I asked bravely, emphasizing the word husband. I looked at Archer and found him raising his left thick brow. I also immediately took my eyes off of him and returned them to the people in front of me. The adults looked at each other. In the end they also nodded which was the signal for me to stand up. "Thank you." I gave Archer a cold glance once again. "Follow me." I went straight outside the house, to the yard itself. The sunlight immediately hit my skin but I didn't mind it. I tried to stand there straight with arms crossed over my chest. I really can not do it! The simple fact that we just confronted each other and acted like the agreement that was happening in front of us was one of big nonsense! I don't wanna marry him! I don't want to be his wife! There's no way I would be happy with him! I inhaled and let out a heavy air. I turned to my side when I saw Archer standing next to me. He looked into the void with his hands in both pockets. "What do you want to talk about?" he asked in a deep voice. The tone he used towards me was as if I was just an ordinary girl and not the girl he wanted to reconcile with. I untied my arms and bravely faced him. "Stop this f*****g set up. I don't want to marry you." The corner of his lips rose. "The feeling is mutual." My chest quickly relaxed at his answer. The feeling was mutual! Does that mean he also doesn't want to marry me? That means we can tell each of our parents that we are not getting married! "That's right! Tell your parents that there will be no marriage between us!" I exclaimed, frustrated. He snorted, holding back a smile. "Why? Do I have a relationship to run into just in case?" It took me seconds before I understood what he meant by that. If I don't have time to get engaged, then you can-" "Don't worry. I won't demand anything from you. When we get married, we're just going to act civil just like any strangers there." My breathing quickened. "I don't care what you like! What I want is for you to understand! Tell them we're not getting married-" "Not going to happen. I have to marry you for the sake of our company. We're going to benefit from this fixed marriage, Trinity. Believe me. So stop forcing your way out of this trap because you're bound to be my wife whether you like it or not. End of conversation." After he said that, he turned his back on me and gracefully walked back home. My teeth almost grinded at the intensity of the anger I felt. My face heated up and I was like a bomb ready to explode anytime soon. for the sake of our company. We're going to benefit from this fixed marriage, Trinity. Believe me. So stop forcing your way out of this trap because you're bound to be my wife whether you like it or not. End of conversation." After he said that, he turned his back on me and gracefully walked back home. My teeth almost grinded at the intensity of the anger I felt. My face heated up and I was like a bomb ready to explode anytime soon. The hope that was building up in my chest just now disappeared immediately after hearing his answer. He didn't even hesitate to answer me that. It's like he thought about it a long time ago just before he stepped into this house! Wife my ass! I will never be a good wife to you, Archer. I swear!