Two Mated Alphas

I Have Hope

Sebastian’s POV

As James dove into her story about her and her Gamma, my body simmered with rage. I clenched my jaw, willing every muscle in my body to freeze while she spoke. An oily feeling of jealousy started in my gut and snaked through me to hear that she had loved him for so long. And he had loved her.

It made my stomach roll with nausea to hear how they fell in love and made plans to lead Blood Moon together. I thought my bones would snap from tension when she admitted they tried marking one another. Even when she told how they broke up and how she let him go, the uneasy feeling in my stomach didn’t subside. But as she finished her story, the images of them together in my mind changed. His attention towards her was loyalty to a woman who had loved him and made the sacrifice to set him free. To allow him to find his happiness while she resolved to commit her life to her pack. She was his Alpha, in all ways, and she earned his loyalty by putting her pack above herself.

James’ doe eyes searched mine when she was done speaking. I could tell that she meant every word she had just said. It made my heart do a small flip. I reached for the bourbon and refilled both our glasses. As I set the bottle down, I looked at James, who still seemed on edge watching me.

Her muscles were tensed, as if she were ready for a fight. Before, when Alaric was seething and demanding blood, my own fury couldn’t be contained. I saw what looked like a flash of fear on her face. I never wanted her to be afraid of me, so I had fought Alaric back to calm myself. I took a deep breath to brace myself for the question that burned inside me.

“Do you wish that he was your mate instead of me?” I asked, my voice calm and level despite the emotions rumbling inside me.

James seemed surprised by my question. Her nose twitched as she thought about what she was going to say and sat down on the couch. I had noticed that she twitched her nose when she was thinking. I found it incredibly adorable.

I joined her on the couch, watching her intently.

“His position in my pack would make things a hell of a lot easier…. but no” she said softly with a smile, leaning in closer to me.

I relaxed a little more. In the short amount of time I’ve known James, I could understand why she would say being mated to her pack’s Gamma over another pack’s Alpha would be easier when it comes to her title. But the fact that she wanted me in spite of how complicated this was made me feel warm all over.

“You know, it really speaks to who you are that your reaction to him finding his mate is relief that he’s found happiness and not anger or jealousy” I murmured.

She began to twitch her nose again as she sipped her bourbon.

“Well, a part of me always thought that maybe he would never find his mate either. I didn’t wish for that, but it was some solace after our break-up that he remained un-mated too. It made it easier for me to accept I would be an Alpha without a mate,” she said, pausing to peer up at me through her lashes.

“I think I would have been jealous if I hadn’t found you first. Not jealous of her, but jealous of having a bond at all. As much as I didn’t think I would want this, I can’t lie and say that it didn’t destroy me inside that’s how it was going to be.“

“Why were you so opposed to this?” I couldn’t stop from blurting out the question.

James looked a little taken aback.

“Because, what male would accept a female Alpha? I am the heir to the Blood Moon Pack. Being my mate is the key to power. Who would allow for me to keep that power? Who would respect my birthright?”

I let her words sink in and it clicked for me. She genuinely feared someone taking Blood Moon from her. Yes, she was full of pride and stubborn as hell, but she feared for her pack and her family legacy. Since she was a child, she held the weight of this legacy on her shoulders. And in a world ruled by males, how could she not be afraid one would take it all from her?

“You were given the same great responsibility every heir is given, but it was so much more” I said gently, grasping her delicate hand.

“Once things ended with Mason, I lost all hope. He grew up with me, watched me fight to deserve that responsibility. No one in our pack doubted me, but I knew the world would. Why else would my father keep me a secret for so long? He never had to tell me: I was a liability. As much as he believed in me, I was a female. And Mason understood that from the start. But would my mate? I didn’t know…” her voice trembled slightly.

“So I decided this wasn’t what I wanted. To protect Blood Moon, I would rule without a mate. A life alone, just one pup made in a lab to be my heir. No love, no family full of laughter….I was going to be alone. Irina and Wren, Inez and her mate, Mason and his….their families would be enough. My pup would have cousins galore, and when he was old enough I would explain why it was just us. I was going to give up a lot of dreams because being Alpha is my destiny. But I met you, and now I have hope for those dreams again.”

James looked down at our clasped hands. I couldn’t help the small, sad smile that spread across my face. I snaked my arm around her waist and drew her to me. She had such an amazing heart, and it hurt to see it had been broken because I didn’t find her all these years.

“I’m sorry you had to go through that. I’m sorry I didn’t find you sooner” I murmured as I nuzzled into her glorious neck.

Her body melted into mine and she wrapped her arms around my torso. I could feel her heart beating, and the sound was my favorite thing on earth in that moment.