Two Mated Alphas

Relief

James’ POV

When I saw Mason run up to that beautiful brunette she-wolf, and saw her murmur “Mate”, I felt overwhelming relief. Mason had finally found his mate and he was no longer going to hurt. No matter what happened with me and my mate, he had found his. He felt that pull, and had the person that was the other part of his heart and soul. The feeling of relief and joy I had was enough to bring tears to my eyes.

I knew in that moment I had to step away, or else I would have to explain what was going on to my mate in front of his entire pack. I needed a moment to regain control of the emotions threatening to flow freely; all the emotions that had been set free since I set eyes on Sebastian. Meeting him had weakened the iron grip I usually had on my emotions.

I ran to the first private place I could find, which was the giant study I had seen on the way outside. I sat down on the plush dark green couch to collect myself before returning outside. Then I would meet Mason’s mate and give him my blessing and congratulations. Tears pricked my eyes as I murmured thanks to the Moon Goddess for answering my prayers. A flair of jealousy burned through me at how easy it would be for them. Just like how easy it was for Wren and Irina.

My heart ached at all that loomed between Sebastian and me. While we agreed to the ritual, at any point either of us could back out. A knot formed in my throat at the thought of Sebastian saying no. He had every right and reason to say no. It was so much to ask an Alpha to risk their pack for this. We barely knew one another, and yet I was foolishly hoping and believing that he wanted me enough already to risk his pack for me. I was already going against everything I had once believed about myself being here for a chance with him. More tears pricked my eyes as I contemplated everything. This is how Sebastian found me.

I was not anticipating having to tell Sebastian about Mason this soon. I never wanted to talk about it with anyone ever again. I wanted to forget about it all. It was so messy, especially now that we found our mates. I was ashamed of my mate finding out; fear crept up the back of my spine that he would reject me over this.

Well, we prepared ourselves to live alone, Ember whispered quietly, my wolf sounding defeated for the first time in our life.

So now, here I was with a very perceptive and pissed off mate, asking about what was going on between Mason and me. My anger at his accusations lashed out before I could think. But after some calming breaths, and liquor for this conversation, I knew I was ready to tell Sebastian everything.

“Mason and I aren’t sleeping together” I began, wanting to set the record straight from the start. “But he and I have a past” I added.

Sebastian threw back the bourbon I poured him and proceeded to pour himself another glass. It was going to take a lot of alcohol to get through this conversation.

“What kind of past?” he asked through gritted teeth.

Well James, keep going with the truth, I thought to myself.

“Seeing as we’re trying to figure out this mate thing, I’ll start from the beginning, and won’t leave anything out. I promise… But you won’t like it,” I warned.

Sebastian raised his eyebrows at me.

I took a deep breath and began.

“Mason and I, along with Wren, grew up together as best friends. We all did everything together. Mason and I had a pretty special bond from the time we were little kids, and it was different than what we shared with Wren. As we got older, Mason and I started to develop a relationship that was more than friends. We started dating in middle school,” I paused, watching as Sebastian closed his eyes and his nostrils flared.

“We dated from middle school, throughout high school, and into college. We were in love, and we had convinced ourselves that we were mates. Hell, everyone in our pack thought we were mates,” I said, choking on the emotions that bubbled up to betray me. This was the first time I had ever told our story out loud to anyone, and the rush of memories was overwhelming.

“When the time came for us to really know we were mates, we were unsure. We didn’t feel the magical pull of the mate bond that we heard about in stories. But we were convinced that we were mates. We….” I trailed off. I wasn’t sure I could tell Sebastian this part. If I did, he might want Mason dead.

“You what” Sebastian said through a growl, tiny tremors radiating down his body.

I took a sip of bourbon and determined what I should say next. The silence seemed to last a lifetime until Sebastian slammed his empty glass on the coffee table in front of us. He stood up and paced across the room, then turned to look at me. His eyes were equal parts murderous and tortured. I gulped, feeling frightened by him for the first time. Frightened by my fear of losing him.

“We were together, as mates, before we turned 18, that’s how confident we were. And after we turned 18, we tried mating, and, and it never seemed to happen. There was always a reason to stop or put it off. We thought that since we had been together and in love for so long, that we had already felt the powerful effect of the mate bond and just didn’t notice a difference. After years of trying and still nothing more, we…. I knew for certain that we weren’t mates. I think we were in denial from the day we both were 18, and it took us years to admit it. But finally, I ended it with him. It wasn’t fair to him” I said, casting my eyes down.

Sebastian began to tremble more and closed his eyes. He took several long, deep inhales before he opened his eyes and looked at me.

“You mated with your Gamma?” He asked, pain and fury clear in his voice.

My throat felt like sandpaper.

“You mated with your Gamma. He touched… what’s mine?!” Alaric’s deep voice snarled from Sebastian’s lips.

Sebastian’s body was radiating anger. His eyes were warm, the golden glow of his wolf breaking through their usual darkness. I knew if I didn’t act quick, his wolf would completely take over and do who knows what.

I stood up and took his face in my hands and forced him to look at me. My thumb gently stroked his cheek as I cradled his face. His eyes snapped to mine as the sparks from our bond shot through us.

“Yes. But we didn’t attempt the full mating ritual for years and when we tried, we failed” I replied, shame twisting in my gut.

“And that’s why you’re upset seeing him with Ali,” he growled. “You want him, not me”

My stomach flipped. This was all a huge misunderstanding.

“No, no I don’t want him. I want you” I said, drawing my body closer to his to emphasize my point. His body stopped trembling at the warmth of mine. His eyes were still gold.

“I had no idea that I would react this way when he found his mate. He and I ended things years ago, but I thought for so long that I was his mate. I never dreamed I would find you and that his mate would be a part of your pack….” I trailed off, thinking about the many ironies of this situation. I took a deep breath.

“Listen to me carefully: I’m RELIEVED. I’m so thankful that he’s found his mate because for years I’ve felt tortured seeing him alone after our break-up. Although this isn’t what I thought I wanted when I found my mate, I am here. I am here for you and to make this work. For the past few years I had planned to live the rest of my life alone. ALONE. I was going to lead my pack without a mate and raise a pup on my own, without a mate.”

His eyebrows twitched upward and his eyes flashed with sadness. Almost pity. I kept speaking.

“Then you came into my life and changed everything for me. I want to see us work. If I didn’t feel anything for you, I wouldn’t be here, believe me. I’m sorry you saw me upset over something from my past. I thought I was prepared for that door finally closing and I wasn’t. But I’m here with you instead of ripping that she-wolf’s throat out…. the thought never even crossed my mind. I was just overwhelmed with emotions of RELIEF that I had to get out of there to have a moment to process it all. You make me FEEL things more intensely than ever before. That should tell you everything you need to know.”

Sebastian seemed to relax into my hands. The gold in his eyes faded and they returned to their normal color. I had talked him off the edge from killing Mason, but how long would that last?