A THOUSAND PIECES

I went down on my knees, trying to pray but no words came out. I felt I didn't have the right to pray anymore. I wouldn't call it "right", I'd call it "privilege" and I lost that privilege a long time ago. No matter how much I tried, athe word "killer" kept ringing in my head. I am a killer! Who would ever believe that? The guilt hunted me. I wanted to talk to someone, but who? I can't tell my parents, they'll be broken. Their daughter they know is a devoted child of God. I was truly a child of God, I didn't fake anything, I wasn't a hypocrite. At least not until what happened happened. I can't tell any of my friends; they'll judge me. I know most of them have been looking for such an opportunity. I can't even tell my pastor, I don't trust him not to use me as his sermon next Sunday. "How did I get here?" I asked myself, the tears threatening to drop as I tried to trace how it all started. My heart ached so terribly. It felt like someone pricked with a needle in so many places. Only if I hadn't listened to him. Do I even have an excuse? Even if I do, it surely is not justifiable. My parents are real christians who provided my everyday needs and made sure that my spiritual life was always in check. I followed duly, I made several promises to myself. I told myself that I won't be pushed to do anything especially if it has to with God. I loved God, I even had that communion will the holy spirit. I led an examplary life, but now all those went down the drain. I let the devil to cheat me... he deceived me... I yielded myself to him. My life became a mess. The month of August is one that can never be forgotten. Maybe that explains why I decided to share this story this month. I can't really place the exact date right now, but on this day, my phone rang. Not like my phone has not been ringing on other days, but that was the phone call that shattered my life. The one phone call that took me away from the only true love I ever had and enjoyed. I believe God always has a way of warning His very own, only if they are willing to listen. The phone kept ringing, I could hear that still voice telling me not to answer. I always listen to HER on every matter, but that day, I defied that still voice. Eventually, I picked up the phone, pressed the answer button and placed the phone on my ear. "Hello?"... #ToBeContinued. ©️ Peace Obioma #HappilyEverAfter #TillMyInkBleeds #PromisedPeace✍️.