Diamonds for Tears

Can things get any worse? Stupid question, I know. Murphy’s laws seem to be connected to me. „If there is a possibility of several things going wrong, the one that will cause the most damage will be the one to go wrong.” But I just can't seem to stop asking myself. So, I guess I should clue you in as to what happened. It started way back, when I was just a tiny … oh wait not that far back … Darn that sense of humour. I will try and be more normal, even if I’m not sure as to what that means. For you, I will try anything once. But if I don’t like it you better suffer the consequences. That is what my best friend tells me.   My name is Rose Jamgocian and this is my s********e of it, the parts where I remember.   Grew up in a small town in Romania named Dumbrăveni-Sibiu. A very beautiful, nice and may I say small town.  Well, not your average small, ignorant town, but it had the makings of one. Basically, if you were not related to, or at least know half of the town you were an outsider and treated as a family.  I mean hello, could you at least be a little afraid or aware of a stranger. What if he or she ended up to be a robber or worse a killer. But no, here you got all the love you wanted without the judgement. Maybe because many that live here come to escape something and they are well educated but now ended in owning a*****e or got a trade, like gardener, shoe-maker, jewellery making. Yes, you can live of those.  My mother was an accountant, she wasn’t running away from anyone. She was born there and so was I. my grandmother was the one that ran from her family. They wanted to trade her off, and so they did. They married her to an Armenian man, a good man. Lucky her, she had a good man and 5 daughters, and here is where Murphy’s laws enter. One can have a husband or a child that is good but not both. While her husband was good to her, her girls grew up and left her with nothing after her husband died. Almost nothing, my mother stayed and had me. My mother on the other hand, has a good daughter but a not so good husband. One cannot have both. Here I am. Growing and finding a place for myself. It was not easy, let me tell you more.  I will tell you in due time.  Just let me explain all the layers. Just like an onion, or perhaps more like a rose, just like my name. Because I do not like onions, and I cannot stress that enough. I do not like onions!   So, my life started. Born in a hospital, with doctors who were very sceptical as to if I would survive. Why is that? Well because even if I was born on the due date, I was very under-weight, 1.5 kg. My mother, Maria was not married to my father at that time. So, she had to take care of herself and me all alone, no family and no one to help her. Except for her mother, my grandmother, who could only offer moral support. A rough start in life. But hey, I survived and now I am ok. As ok as I can get. I mean we might be born normal but life has a way of making us unique. Like a diamond. The life of a diamond is hard. Even if it is a well-known gem-stone it has an incredible journey that only highlight the natural forces that come together and create it. It is only under great pressure that the most beautiful diamonds are formed. „If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.” One of Murphy’s laws that make me think if anything can be as it is. Maybe yes, but when it comes to people it is mostly true. I find it interesting that we are capable of evolving and growing, but when it comes to truth, we find it black and white. Well my truth has black, white and all shades of grey. Because things aren’t always what they seem, and so are people. We are complex, we think, we feel and it sometimes brings us to pain. Well, not the thinking part but the feeling part. My best friend whom I want you to meet would say that everything happens for a reason. She is like a sister to me and I am her rock. She says that without me she would have gone crazy. Her parents are from Dumbrăveni also but left for Italy where with hard work they now own a restaurant. I think that they sent her here because of her free spirit, it is hard to contain her. That is one reason why I love her, nothing can bring her down. She finds something good in any bad and something beautiful in anything ugly. That is just the way she is. And I find her wonderful. One important thing you need to know before moving on is that Blanca and I made a blood-oath to help her with her daemons, as she called them. For a while it was ok. But since she turned 18 things got interesting.