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1809 Words
I open and close my mouth, trying to gather something coherent to say. Claudio should have left with the rest of the nobles. Why would he still be in the castle? He has absolutely no reason to stay.
I force myself to continue walking, but I want to pound down that door and demand answers. I'm afraid that wouldn't be acceptable behavior of a princess. Especially a princess who has a courter.
We return to my room and I spend the rest of the evening reading Emilienne's diary. When it's quiet, I can hear Emilienne's voice in my head, laughing along with me. But I close the book, and my mind is quiet.
●◊●◊●
I spend the next morning impatiently waiting for Henri to arrive. He didn't specify in his letter whether he would be arriving in the morning or the afternoon. I try not to let his upcoming arrival distract me, but I can't help it. Surely he must have some news of Grace or Augustine or Florentine. I'll be overjoyed to hear anything about them, anything.
I halfheartedly attempt to study my notes from Martino's lecture, but I struggle to figure out what it says. The page is full of half finished sentences and scribbled words. Camille attempts to help me, but even she can't figure it out.
After a while, I go back to reading Emilienne's diary. I manage to escape into it for an hour, before I'm interrupted by Alexanne. I shove the diary beneath my pillow as Camille lets her in.
She flounces into my room, her gaze sweeping over me. She frowns disdainfully at my wrinkled nightgown and unmade bed. "Have you even got up?" She glances at the clock on my wall, "It's nearly eleven o'clock."
I shrug, "I don't have much to do. I was studying for my lessons with my tutor."
"Ah, Martino. Do you like him? He seemed to be a good tutor when I talked with him. You know I only want what's best for you."
"Of course."
Her grin splits her face in half, "I was wondering if perhaps you would like to meet for lunch? In a little less than an hour. I would really love for you to be there."
I have no choice but to attend. But I play the part with a joyful nod and a bubbly, "Of course!"
Alexanne agrees and specifies on the exact time I must show up before floating back out of the room. I groan and force myself out of bed.
Camille frowns at my grumblings, "Are you not happy to be spending time with Queen Alexandra?"
I tense, "No, of course I'm not happy. It's just that I was looking forward to a day without plans. It's not really a problem. I was just whining."
Camille frowns, but doesn't question me anymore. She applies light makeup and helps me into a semi-formal dress. Though it is only lunch with Alexanne, I want to look presentable.
By the time I'm ready, it's time for me to go to the dining room. Camille offers to stay back so that we can have sister-bonding time, but I refuse. I won't give Alexanne another opportunity to hurt Camille. I won't let her out of my sight again.
So, Antonin and Camille follow me to the dining room. A doorman waits for our arrival and pulls open the doors to us. He bows as I pass.
Alexanne waits at our table. The same table that Violette, Emilienne, Alexanne, and I used to sit around. Alexanne has invited me for meals a few times, and I've reluctantly agreed. Just like every room within this house, it's imprinted with memories.
I force myself not to dwell on the two chairs around the circular table, instead of the four. The table is too large and awkward without them. I'm forced to face Alexanne as I take a seat.
The servants bring in the first course of a light soup. Alexanne and I sit, daintily lifting the soup to our lips with our silver spoons. We force small talk, chattering of the weather and the ball.
Once Alexanne has had enough of the act, she says, "So your trainer is coming today?"
Though she says this with her blinding smile, I stiffen. How did she know? I suspected that she might read my incoming mail, but the thought still makes me sick.
I nod, "Yes, he is arriving. How did you know?" Will she admit to her crime?
Alexanne tosses her hair over her shoulder, "You must be excited that he is coming."
"Yes, I am very excited. I thought his arrival wasn't very public though. How did you know?"
Alexanne tilts her head to the side, "Why wouldn't I know? We're sisters. We tell each other everything. Did you forget that you told me?"
Her eyes dart to Camille as she says this. She must not want Camille to know that the truth. It's rather funny, that's she's trying to hide her violence from the girl she almost killed.
I shrug, "I guess I must have forgotten telling you. My apologies of my poor memory."
"It is not a problem. What is your trainer's name?"
"Sir Henri." I should have lied. It doesn't matter. She'll figure it out eventually.
She frowns, "His name sounds familiar. Have we met him before?"
"I met him at the last ball. I think I told you his name then." I distinctly remember not telling her. I didn't want to give her any opportunity to figure out who he is before I hired him.
Alexanne says, "I don't disapprove of you learning self-defense. I think it could be very good for you. But do you mind me asking what made you want to learn how to defend yourself? Why would you need to know that?"
I grind my teeth together, "Ever since the murders, I've been a little wary. I don't want to be hurt. It's my plan to rule this kingdom for a long time, after all." I add on, as if it is an afterthought, "As a princess of course."
"Yes, I plan to rule for a long time, too. I guess we have similar plans."
"Yes, we do."
Tension coats the air as we pause our conversation. The servants have come out with the second course. Surely they notice the lies in our words as we speak of silly things such as the latest fashions.
The second they are gone, Alexanne says, "I only want to be sure the rules are clear."
"Why would we need rules? We are royalty."
"I'm only trying to keep you safe. Be sure that this trainer doesn't allow his lessons to get to your head. Violence isn't the answer."
A sick laugh escapes my lips before I turn it into a cough. Alexanne's eyes dart to Camille before she gives me a warning look, "I want to make sure that everyone is safe. If you do something violent, it may cause someone to grow mad. We wouldn't want that, would we?"
I shake my head, "Of course not."
"So these are the rules. You are only allowed to meet with the trainer once a day for an hour. No more. I don't want any of his violent ideas rubbing off on you. If I see you meeting more than once, he'll be dismissed. Understand?"
I nod.
"I also don't want to see you practicing your techniques anywhere or on anyone, besides during the lessons. Not even in your room."
"I would think that practicing would be important to improve."
"No practicing. Understand?"
I have no choice but to nod again.
"Good, I'm glad you understand the rules. There's only two, so it shouldn't be too difficult to follow, right?"
I nod yet again.
Alexanne smiles, "I'm glad we understand each other so well. Otherwise things would be so much more difficult, don't you agree?"
●◊●◊●
It's late in the afternoon when Henri's carriage finally arrives. A servant comes to my room to announce his arrival, and I have to pretend to not be nearly as excited as I am.
Instead I nod and send a note to Henri. It tell him to unpack and send a servant once he is settled in. I want to begin with a lesson right away. I send the servant away with the note to deliver to him and anxiously await his arrival.
Just to keep up appearances, I pretend to study my lecture notes again. My eyes do nothing but fly over the same line again and again.
What will Henri have to tell me?
My excitement grows as a servant arrives. Henri is ready for our lesson. By my request, he's waiting in the Sitting Room.
I chose for him to meet in the Sitting Room because there won't be any servants who might overhear our conversation.
It takes all my self-control not to run to the Sitting Room. Instead I stride down the hall with Camille and Antonin. Neither of them has mentioned the tense conversation at lunch, and I'm thankful. Though Antonin understands, I don't think I could explain Alexanne's glare to Camille.
I pull open the doors to the Sitting Room and Henri waits inside. I curtsy to him and he bows.
I say, "Did you have a good travels?"
"Of course."
I turn to Antonin and Camille, "You may wait outside. I don't want you to see my embarrassing attempts at self-defense."
It's not so much them watching my lesson, but Camille hearing what Henri might have to say. She can't know that I know them. I know she would never purposefully hurt me, but what if she accidentally mentions something to Alexanne?
Antonin closes the doors behind them and I run to Henri. I smile, "Thank you so much for doing this. I'm so glad you are here."
Henri says, "Of course I'm here. You needed help." He drops his voice to a barely audible whisper, "Florentine thinks this is a good idea. I'll be able to pass along messages."
"I really do need help with the self-defense, though. Alexanne attacked me the other day, and if it wasn't for Antonin, I probably wouldn't be here."
Henri says, "You'll get better."
I whisper my thanks, and his smile fades, "Admira, I just want to say I'm really sorry. I don't know how you can keep your emotions so locked away, but I know how much it should hurt."
I push away his sympathy, thinking he's referring to Emilienne or Violette, or maybe my fight against Alexanne, "It's okay, I've grown to accept it."
He frowns, "How could you...Admira, did you get Florentine's letter?"
"What? What letter?"
He runs his hand through his hair.
"What letter?" I ask.
"Admira...Grace has gone missing."
- Writer
