Choosing Royalty (Chasing Royalty #3)

I stare at my reflection in the mirror, trying to understand who I've become. My tiara sits atop my head, my hair curled and braided around it. The silky red fabric of my dress pools beneath me. Camille fiddles with a strand of my hair. I ask, "Am I ready?" She nods, tucking the last of my hair back. "You look perfect. You better hurry, Queen Alexandra is growing restless." Of course Alexandra is restless. She wanted the two of us to enter the ball together to represent or loving sisterly relationship. I'm sure she knew I would stall my arrival as much as I could. Exactly a week has passed since I have been announced as a princess again. Alexanne thought it would be perfect to throw a ball on my one week anniversary. But I don't know if I will be able to muster the energy to celebrate tonight. I haven't seen or heard from Augustine, Grace, or Florentine. Every passing day digs deeper into my heart. Yet, Alexanne has been careful. Ever since our tense conversation the night I returned to the conversation, she's been cautious. She never speaks of the truth of the past. Our relationship consists of fake smiles and forced laughter across dining room tables. We avoid each other as much as we can without starting rumors. When we do see each other, we make sure that guards surround both of us. We both plan on winning our private contest for who will be the queen. Camille breaks my thoughts, "Would you like me to escort you?" I thank her, but stride out of the room on my own. Antonin walks a few steps behind me, always my protective shadow. I keep my eyes straight ahead as I pass by the doors leading to Emilienne and Violette's room. I haven't had the courage to enter either of their quarters yet. I'm afraid to see what Alexanne has done to their possessions. She threw out all of my belongings. Did she have the audacity to do that to the sisters she killed as well? My old belongings are returning, or at least being replaced with similar items. The longer I've stayed, the more gifts keep arriving. My quarters are beginning to look less like the art gallery and more like my own. However, Emilienne and Violette's bedrooms will never return. Alexanne awaits me at the top of the staircase. Her two guards stand two steps behind her. She smiles brightly, "What a beautiful dress, Admira. Your seamstress has certainly outdone herself." I curtsy and echo her compliments. Her dress is a sparkling gold, her dark hair in a braid curled along the top of her hair. She links her arm through mine, "Let's get to our ball. We don't want to keep the guests waiting too long." As we approach the grand spiraling staircase that will lead down to the ballroom, one of the heralds announces our entrance. The crowd breaks into cheers as we step down the staircase with smiles plastered across our faces. At first, Alexanne refuses to let me leave her side. We chat to noblemen and women as I struggle to remember who they are and if I am related. Every time I murmur an excuse to leave, Alexanne pulls me back into the conversation, claiming I can't go just yet. As soon as the conversation with one noble ends, another begins with someone else. Everyone is eager to hear the tragic story of how I hid in one of our vacation castles for two months before Alexanne was able to free the false accusations against me. They don't know the truth. I wasn't in a castle, but in a dirty, old apartment in the city. Then Florentine, a midwife, hid me in her mansion as Alexanne tried to find me to execute me properly. Florentine was able to blackmail me back into the castle, in hopes that I will be able to kill Alexanne, my sisters' murderer, and become the rightful Queen. Only a week inside the castle, I know our plan seemed a lot easier in theory than in action. Alexanne makes sure she always has a guard at her side. She's continuously glancing over her shoulder, her hand placed on the side of her skirts where her knife rests hidden. Does she know that I am prepared as well? Antonin, my personal guard, is loyal to me, not her. While living in Florentine's home, I was trained by Henri on the basics of fighting. I practice the exercises nearly every night when I am alone. I myself have my own hidden knife within my skirts, as well as a dagger strapped to my thigh. Alexanne isn't the only one is prepared. Perhaps all I need to do is wait. Wait for Alexanne to lower her guard and lure her into a sense of safety. If I act weaker than I am and lower her expectations of me, she won't take nearly as many precautions. I know I am lying to myself. While Alexanne is confident, she won't let her pride get in the way of reality. She won't ever lower her guard. She will continue to feed her paranoia, never giving me an opening to kill her. And I will just have to do the same. But I don't know how much long I can wait. I don't know how much longer I can survive without Augustine's quiet confidence and Grace's reassuring honesty. Besides, every day, the search to find Grace, the supposed traitor, grows more violent among the townspeople. They search the buildings and the woods, hoping to achieve the hefty ransom put on Grace's name. I can only hope that Florentine is able to keep her safe. Alexanne puts her cold hand on my shoulder, bringing me back to reality. I blink slowly as she says, "Let's go dance. It will be fun. Besides, we need to find ourselves some courters." "We already have courters." I say. It is true. Our husbands had been chosen only a few days after we had been born, if not before then. Merely political reasons, the royals aren't allowed to care much about love. Our husbands are foreign princes that will secure trades and bring more riches to the kingdom. I haven't even met my husband yet. It doesn't matter. I will be married off when I am eighteen. "We do have courters. However, I am in charge. If we ever wanted to change, we could. Besides, a little fun tonight doesn't matter." Alexanne smiles. We couldn't change courters. Not without signing ourselves up for a war between our nation and our princes' nation. I'd never given much thought to who I actually want to marry. It's never been an option. Besides, I've never felt love enough to consider not marrying my foreign prince. I wasn't allowed. Impurity isn't desired. Alexanne nudges me lightly, as a loving sister might, "Come on, we need to have some fun. Let's find our own princes tonight. Someone we choose instead of someone who was chosen." I shake my head, "You may go dancing. I think I will find something to eat. I am ravished." Alexanne watches me carefully, as if deciding whether she will force me into this or not. Finally, she sighs, "As you wish. However, don't eat too much. You know that everyone will be dancing in an hour, and you must participate. You don't want your stomach weighing you down." I nod and leave her side. I only relax after I've put several people between us. Instead of food, I swipe a glass of wine off the tray. I stand along the walls, wishing I could disappear. Silly, when everyone's eyes are focused on either Alexanne or me. However, the people accept that if I'm not currently talking to anyone, I must not be in the mood for conversation. I watch the dancers over the rim of my wine glass. Beautiful girls in swirling dresses twirl through the people. Servants' clear voices and soft instruments provide wafting music that colors the air. Maids walk through the crowds with trays of delicate foods. Every noble converses with another, building alliances and creating business. Tonight is not only for fun. Just like every night within the castle, people are here for business. It would be foolish to waste a whole night for only dancing and food. Someone taps on my shoulder. I turn, trying to hide my frustration. A teenager dressed in a formal military uniform waits beside me. Not a soldier, but the son of some royal. The tilt of his chin and high eyebrow suggests he's less than a gentleman. Nevertheless, it is my responsibility to smile and curtsy, "Hello, sir, an honor to meet you." He offers me a minuscule bow, "Sir Hankenshire. The same can be said to you. You look beautiful tonight." His words don't hold any compliment, but greed. "Thank you. Are you enjoying your night?" "I am now that I am talking to you. Surely you must be lonely, standing here by yourself. It isn't traditional for a lady to attend a ball without a male escort." I smile, "My courter wasn't able to attend tonight." "Of course. The rumors state that he barely attends anything. Have you met him at all?" "It never does anyone much good to put too much faith in rumors." He frowns, "Perhaps you would like to dance." "Allow me to finish my glass of wine first. I planned to begin dancing when the royal dance started." "Ah, but that is much too far away. It is a disgrace for a lady like you to stand alone at her own ball." Another boy appears behind him, "It is also a disgrace for a man to force a lady into dancing." Sir Hankenshire rolls his eyes, but stalks off to harass another lady. I curtsy to the newcomer, "Thank you. I am in your debt." He bows deeply, "Never, my lady. Sir Claudio of Revesa Despora. It is a pleasure to meet you." I smile, "I have to thank you again." His smile reaches his sparkling green eyes. "No need. It is unfortunate, but I'm afraid that he is my brother. I knew he would try to approach you at some point." He asks, "You may decline, of course, my lady, but would you like to dance?" I open to my mouth to politely decline, but Alexanne's eyes catch mine from across the hall. The look on her face is clear. I cannot continue standing in the corner, turning away men with offers of dances. I find myself nodding and setting down my glass of wine, "I would love to."