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1695 Words
"I...what?" I murmur.
Camille's chin trembles, "I don't know. It was the middle of the night. I was half awake. I don't know what to believe."
I lean forward, holding her gaze, "Camille, I would never do anything to hurt you. Do you trust that?"
She nods.
"Do you trust me?"
She looks away. I can hear my heart shattering in the silence.
"Please," I beg, "what have I ever done to make you not trust me?"
"You won't tell me what you and Antonin were talking about. You're always doing that. Covering up your actions and words."
"I need to protect you."
"From who? The same person who sliced open my stomach?"
When I don't say anything she says, "Because I think that maybe I need more protection from you and your lies than that dresser over there. Did you honestly expect me to believe that lie?"
My hands shake at my sides, "Camille, please..."
"Please what? Quietly watch as something, or someone, tears you apart from the inside. Don't think that I can't see the grief and fear within your eyes. Something is happening. Why can't you tell me?"
"Because the same will happen to you."
"Do you think I can't handle it?" She glares at me.
"You don't deserve it."
"Please just tell me."
I press my lips together, "Just give me time. Please."
"This afternoon. You will tell me everything."
I stare at the floor. "Okay."
"Promise me."
I take a shaky breath, "Could you finish preparing me? I don't want to be late for my lesson."
Camille doesn't speak another word to me, anger blazing in her narrowed eyes.
●◊●◊●
I bring my notes with me to my lessons with Martino. I don't think they will actually help me. The tiny amount of studying I actually put into them makes me want to cringe.
I command Antonin and Camille to wait outside for me. Quietly to Antonin, I ask him to not let Camille out of his sight. I don't know what Camille is capable of when she is angry, and I don't need her getting into more trouble.
Though I am trying to help her, Camille's eyes narrow even further at my whispering with Antonin.
I push through the doors and find Martino waiting for me. He frowns disdainfully at my entrance, "You certainly took your time."
"My apologies, sir."
He just grumbles under his breath and places a sheet of paper with several questions printed on it in front of me. Just one. Perhaps this test won't be too difficult. I may be able to lie my through this.
I consider placing my note on the floor, where I will be able to see them. But I fold them and place them into my skirts. I am many things, but I am not a cheater.
Martino watches me with his piercing gaze as I read the first question. I have no idea what the answer is. It isn't some broad question that I can vaguely answer through prior knowledge and lies. It's specific. Something he must have taught. Maybe I have it written in my notes, but I probably don't. It doesn't really matter.
I try not to panic as I read the next question. It's the same as the first, too specific for me to attempt to answer. I look at the next and the next.
I don't think I know the answer to a single question.
However, I have too much pride to tell Martino this. I bend over the paper, so that he can't see my answers, and begin to write. I take my best guess, even though I am sure they are all wrong.
I'm only through a few questions when I start thinking about Camille. She's only a few feet away, just outside the door. Surely I should tell her everything. It would make things so much simpler. I wouldn't have to sneak around her to search for Grace and I would be able to have my conversations with Antonin. Besides, Camille has shown more than once that she is intelligent. Perhaps she would be able to help me as well.
But Alexanne made it clear what would happen if I ever told Camille. Camille merely walked in on one of our meetings and ended up with stitches across her stomach. What would happen if Camille knew the whole truth?
I can't tell Camille. Not yet. I need something to protect her. Perhaps she can take the lessons with Henri and I.
But will she be a match for Alexanne's cruelty?
Is anyone a match for Alexanne's cruelty?
What would it be like if I had someone else to fight with me? Someone to have my back, to hold my extra dagger. Perhaps the two of us would be a match against Alexanne.
I stop myself. How foolish can I be? If Camille were to start training with me, Alexanne would find a reason to dismiss her. Or perhaps, Camille would have a horrible, tragic accident perfectly executed by Alexanne. Camille would be replaced with yet another lady in waiting. The cycle would start over.
I need to realize Camille will not be able to help me. I have Antonin and now Henri. I can't be greedy.
But what will Camille do if we don't tell her? Will she do something drastic? Maybe she'll go to Alexanne for answers.
Martino clears his throat loudly. I've only gotten to question four. I have at least ten more questions to lie my way through.
Martino says, "You have five more minutes."
"What?" I ask.
"Five minutes. Did I not mention that to you?"
"No, you never said such a thing. You didn't even tell that it was timed. I won't be able to finish it."
He shrugs, "Perhaps you should have been worrying about that instead of daydreaming."
My fingers clench into a fist, but I don't say anything. I scribble through the test, hoping that my answers don't sound too idiotic. I would be surprised if I got a single one right.
Martino collects my paper after what seems to be a little sooner than five minutes. It doesn't matter. He places the book inside the small bag that hangs from the back of his chair. He shuffles through the bag and pulls out a book, the spine an inch thick.
"You will read this by the day after tomorrow."
"The whole thing?" I ask. I can easily read a book in a day, but only if I'm interested. I'm afraid that this might be about the stuffy trade routes or history of some ancient family.
Martino raises an eyebrow, "It's not as if you have many things better to do, right?"
"I would beg to differ."
"What could possibly be more important than your education?"
I want to tick off all the examples on my fingers. Finding Grace. Keeping Camille safe. Protecting myself from Alexanne while somehow finding a way to kill her. Worrying whether Alexanne will kill Henri or Florentine or Antonin or any other person who has ever talked to me.
I smile, "I guess you are right."
"Perfect. We will have a small quiz the day after tomorrow then about this book. Then, I will give you your next lecture."
I nod, waiting for him to dismiss me.
Instead he says, "We have some extra time. I want to go through your test with you."
I decide to be honest, "Sir, I'd rather not look at that test. I'm afraid yesterday was a particularly stressful day and I didn't have much time. I'm still adjusting to your style of teaching and I didn't completely understand the lecture. However, I would like to learn this. Do you think you could teach this again so I could retake the notes and then the test?"
He has the audacity to laugh at me, "A stressful day? My lady, I'm sure you have no idea what stress is. What happened? Did your maid make your bed wrong? Perhaps you had a tangle in your hair. Or, tragedy of all tragedies, your soup wasn't the right temperature."
I keep my mouth shut. I'm afraid of what I might say.
Martino continues, "And you're still adjusting to my style of teaching? What does that even mean? That you aren't used to actually having to work? I suppose that your old tutor allowed you to daydream whenever you wanted to."
I say, "If you are done insulting me, may I say something?"
Martino shrugs, his lips curled into a smirk.
I say, "You don't know what is happening in my life. You don't know what is happening in the lives of the people I care about. You don't know how I feel. You don't know what I'm experiencing. You don't deserve to judge me for what you don't understand."
Martino stares at me. For a second I think he is going to ask me what is wrong or what he can do to help. That's what Augustine would do. The least Martino could do is apologize.
Instead, he stands from his chair, "I've changed my mind. I will go through your test on my own time. You are dismissed."
Anger curls into the pit of my stomach, but I stand none the less. I curtsy to him and thank him for his time, just as I should. I pick the book off the table. It's a documentation of the culture of some ancient, foreign kingdom. I suppose it could be interesting, but I'm giving it the benefit of the doubt.
I hurry from the room before Martino can find any more things to insult me about.
Camille and Antonin both wait for me outside the door. I offer a smile to Camille, trying to gage how angry she is at me. She turns her head away and stares at the floor. I sigh and follow Antonin down the hall. Camille walks several feet behind us, as though she can't stand to be near me.
Do I tell her the truth or save her from Alexanne?
But, is she ever really safe from Alexanne?
- Writer
